Tradition Is Peer Pressure From Dead People
Your life will transform when you stop following the rules set by others.
“Do you have kids?” As someone in my 30s and married, that’s a question I get often.
For a long time that was a question that left me thinking something was wrong with me.
When pressed further, this would lead to the inevitable follow-up: “Well, do you plan on having kids?”
I would give the obligatory awkward giggle saying: “Oh maybe one day.”
These exchanges are easier to navigate and less awkward among colleagues and people I work with. But around family and close friends, sheesh that’s a whole other story.
At a recent family gathering, the first thing a family friend that I haven’t seen in a while said to me was “Hey Anthony when are you going to be a father?”
Then someone else chimed in: “You have been married for a few years now, it’s time to start a family.”
Right on cue, the avalanche of brules (bullshit rules) would ensue.
As if life is meaningless if you don’t become a parent.
Like marriage has no value or point unless you procreate.
As if getting married with 2.5 kids surrounded by a white-picket fence is the measurement of a “normal life.”
What the hell is normal anyway?
“Normal” is usually traditions from other people’s interpretation of reality.
And tradition is just peer pressure from dead people.
Now, don’t get me wrong I’m not against kids or having them, I’m just extremely conscious of what I want and what works for me that I no longer feel I have to hide or feel weird about anything that doesn’t align with the status quo around me.
This is because every day I set the intention for how I want to think, feel, and act that I will not allow no person, place, thing, or situation cause me to get down on myself and question who I am.
Now the opinions of others no longer bother me.
Now I don’t waste precious energy wishing others understood how I live my life.
Now I answer honestly and freely with a great big smile on my face when I’m asked the dreaded “are you having kids” question.
In short, I no longer seek approval. And it feels so liberating.
Life is so much more enjoyable and fun when you live it the way you want and when you feel joy from simply being uniquely who you are.
Don’t allow some bullshit rule from society or from others get you down.
Get clear on who you want to be, your values, and the life you want to create — then go create it.
