Summary

The article humorously critiques the perceived unfairness of Medium's platform, where top writers seem to receive disproportionate attention and earnings, and proposes satirical solutions for a more equitable system.

Abstract

The author of the article expresses frustration with top writers on Medium, labeling them as overrated and annoying due to their success and the financial advice they give. The author recounts a personal experience of financial loss after following investment advice from a top writer and questions the authenticity of writers who publish frequently. To address these grievances, the author facetiously suggests changes to the platform, including allowing readers to clap up to a million times for articles, implementing a flat payment rate for all writers, ensuring more frequent virality for their own content, and altering the newsfeed algorithm to prioritize their articles. The article concludes with a disclaimer stating that the piece is satirical and not meant to be taken as financial or legal advice.

Opinions

Top writers on Medium are seen as overrated and their advice can be financially detrimental, as evidenced by the author's own investment loss.
The frequency and volume of content produced by some top writers raise suspicions about their authenticity, suggesting they might be AI bots.
The current system of clapping and earning on Medium is considered insufficient and unfair by the author.
A proposal is made to level the playing field by paying all writers an equal monthly amount, regardless of their contribution or engagement.
The author desires more frequent virality for their content and suggests that their articles should be prioritized in the Medium newsfeed.
The piece is written with a satirical tone, poking fun at the entitlement and self-centered nature of the author's perspective, and is not intended to be serious advice or commentary.

HUMOR

Top Writers On Medium Are Annoying, And Everybody Knows It

Most of them are overrated

A few months ago, I read an article by a top writer who shall remain nameless. He described the importance of investing in cryptocurrency and other risky assets. “More risk equals more reward. What could possibly go wrong?”

Quite a lot.

After investing my life savings into the suggested cryptocurrency, it tumbled by more than forty percent. $300,000 vanished thanks to some crappy financial advice. Ouch.

That’s just one example of a top writer being annoying. Another person made more money than me writing about the same topic. They even had their articles perform better in the algorithm. And while I’m not a conspiracy theorist, I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re an Artificial Intelligence bot because they publish so damn much.

For brevity’s sake, I won’t vent all of my grievances right now. However, I will suggest how the platform can be improved, so top writers don’t get all of the views (and money).

Every Reader Should Clap A Thousand Times

If someone wants to show appreciation for my articles, they should be able to clap as many times as they desire.

Fifty isn’t enough.

While I’d like to recommend one thousand claps per user, I wouldn’t oppose a higher number such as 50,000. In part, that’s because it would be awesome to receive one million claps per article.

Pay Everyone The Same Amount Per Month

I don’t care if you write for twelve hours per day or two minutes per month. If a top writer earns more revenue than me, it’s unfair.

Let me explain why.

I need to go on an expensive vacation to Costa Rica. So, I want to recommend a new payment system where everyone gets paid the same amount. $25,000 per month would suffice.

Equality of outcome is the only thing that matters.

Make My Content Go Viral More Frequently

I’m sick of seeing other people get thousands of views on their writing.

Sure, they might research a topic more thoroughly than me. They might even invest several hours’ of work into each article (I don’t). But none of that is relevant because it’s unfair.

I want to go viral. I need hundreds of people to comment, “this is so true,” and “wow, this is better than Shakespeare.” Validation from strangers is what keeps me going. It motivates me to wake up each morning because I crave attention from other people. I need it.

Reading my articles should be mandatory for everyone who scrolls through their social media feed. And when I become President in 2028, all of my dreams will eventually become a reality.

Change The Newsfeed To Prioritize My Articles

That would be awesome.

Every morning when you open Medium, you’d see my beautiful face. And upon clicking every link, you’d be greeted with pure excellence because I’d be responsible for everything in your feed.

It’s annoying that some top writers get more views than me. They probably get more views than you, as well. So, by changing the newsfeed to prioritize my articles, I’d be the only person worth following.

Want to be notified whenever I publish a new article? Click here.

Important Disclaimer: This article is a joke, fictional, and for entertainment purposes only. Please don’t take it seriously. Therefore, it should not be considered financial, business, or legal advice.