Top Ten Ways To Let Anybody With Half a Brain Know You’re An Asshole
Guess who I’m talking about
In keeping with my new Top Ten niche theme, here goes with the next. Take a wild guess who this is about.
Top Ten Ways To Let Anybody With Half a Brain Know You’re an Asshole:
- Lie like a rug to support your own flawed agenda.
- Talk about how great you are and what a wonderful job you’re doing even when reality refutes both.
- Fuck a porn star who couldn’t give two shits about you while your wife is pregnant.
- Talk about how you’re worth billions and then pay $750 a year in federal income tax yearly to prove it.
- Pretend your daddy only gave you a million bucks to start you off in life when in reality, he gave you 400 million.
- Brag on how you can grab women by the pussy because you’re so rich.
- When Howard Stern asks you and two of your offspring “how much is 17 times 6,” triumphantly answer “eleven twelve” as if it’s an easy question you and your Wharton School kids can actually answer without a calculator. (For the record, his son followed with “86,” and daughter with “that's not a fair question.”)
- Believe Vladimir Putin when he says he didn’t muck with the 2016 election.
- Call leading scientists “idiots” because you think you’re so goddamned intelligent.
- Suggest with a straight face that shooting Clorox in your arm to kill covid could be the solution — and then walk it back as if you were joking once you realize what an incredibly stupid thing you’ve just recommended.
Ok! You get where I’m going with this. I could probably go on. But this is a top 10 list. Hence, I live within the parameters.