Humor
5 Ways A Baby Is More Presidential Than Donald Trump
Let’s make nap time great again!
I’m sure if we asked Donald if he knew the meaning of presidential, his response would be something like, “I know words, I have the best words.” For those of us who can’t afford the best words, the following definition will have to suffice;
pres·i·den·tial
/ˌprezəˈden(t)SH(ə)l/
adjective
having a bearing or demeanor befitting a president; dignified and confident.
That definition doesn’t exactly fit our 45th president’s demeanor. Many people refer to him as a baby. He was even greeted with a gorgeous Baby Trump balloon when he visited our neighbors in the UK.
Is it really fair, though, to assume a baby would make as bad a showing in the oval office as our resident blowhard? I can give you five ways that a baby is more presidential than Donald Trump any day!
5. Babies Eventually Quiet Down
Babies make a lot of noise. Sometimes they keep you guessing and jumping through hoops to figure out why they’re crying. However, a crying baby will be mollified or exhausted into blessed silence at some point.
Trump doesn’t do this. He holds grudges and can’t stop whining about them. He still brings up Rosie O’Donnell, and their feud began in 2006.
Maybe we should strap the Donald in a car seat and take him for a long ride in the country. If nothing else we can drive out to a place with no signal and enjoy the radio silence on Twitter while it lasts.
4. Babies Come With Useful Baggage
One of the things I miss about having a baby everywhere I went was having his huge diaper bag. I stored all the stuff my little bundle of joy needed, of course, but there was still room for all the other stuff I got tired of carrying around. Bonus! It was also really easy to sneak candy into theaters.
Things aren’t so convenient when it comes to Trump’s baggage. Let’s see, he brought about a thousand or so grudges, scandals involving cheating on his wife with a porn star, recordings where he brags about sexually assaulting women… I could go on, but you get the picture. And don’t get me started on the legal baggage he brought along! Can’t you stuff some of this junk in a linen closet at Mar-a-Lago, Donny? ‘Merica needs room for our guns!
3. Babies Have Diapers
Only a parent on a road trip whose baby is wearing their last diaper with no shops in sight, can attest to the value of a clean nappy! Just imagine if such a clever object existed to absorb and detain the BS Trump throws at the American people?
2. Babies Are Color Blind
Whether he’s complaining about so-called “shit countries” or “bad hombres”, Donny Boy always has something demeaning to say about people of color. Don’t get me wrong. I think being color blind isn’t what this nation needs. We need to see and appreciate our diversity. However, our prez isn’t even capable of “not seeing color” like most of the well-meaning white folks who have at least one black acquaintance that proves they aren’t racist.
and the number one reason?
1. Babies Knock Down Walls
Big shout out and thank you to my friend and World’s Best Artist, Mitch O’Connel for allowing me to use his “Trump They Live” graphic for this article!
