Together Until the Bitter End: Their Fatal Promise
You’re about to read a fictional erotic encounter from my upcoming book, N-Word. If you like it, follow me for more.
“I’m serious,” Winston added. “We gonna make this work, Antonia. I’m never going to leave your side, Tiger. You my lady, and I’m your man and ain’t nothin’ ever gonna come between us. I love you more than I know how to say, and I’m gonna be by your side until the day I die. Even after I die, too.
“You the reason I wake up in the morning, and you the last thing on my mind before I sleep at night. If I ain’t with you, I’m thinking about you and what you’re doing, and when I’m with you, it’s like nothing else matters.” Antonia replied.
“Me too.” said Winston.
“Let’s run away together. Me and you. Let’s build a life with each other and start a family. We’ll have two children first...” Antonia added.
“A girl called Winnie, and a boy called Antonio!” Winston exclaimed.
“That’s exactly what I was gonna say!” She said excitedly.
“Nothing’s gonna stop us from being together. Not even death. We’ll always be together.
“Oh, Winston.”
Antonia was beginning to feel lightness growing, flowing and easing its way across her whole being. She was content, assured, protected, and safe. She felt worthy, and she was enough.
The feeling was slight at first, almost imperceptible, but very real and forever transforming. It moved its way from her mind to her eyes, bathing her vision in a golden hue of relaxation until it felt like everything she could see was visually singing in harmony. The trees, plants, insects, animals, her own arms, and even Winston’s body were singing a song of vibration right before her eyes.
This was the moment when Winston began to stroke her lightly. Tenderly. She felt his strong chocolate hand sensually caress hers from the tips of her fingers along her palm and up to her forearm. It was so soft, so smooth, like tingles of electrical joy were bubbling along the pores of her white skin.
As she sighed softly, he let his nimble fingers glide across her right wrist and up to her forearm without touching her skin. He just let his fingertips brush gently against the hairs of her forearm, pushing them back against her skin without coming into contact with it themselves.
“I love you, Antonia. We’re going to have a life together.”
She sighed with a profound sense of deep relaxation and eternal peace. Slowly but surely, she felt herself becoming awash with feminine energy. A patient, deliberate, flowing, pulsating, rhythmic flow that made her troubles fade into the ether and eased her mind into the present moment.
Colours were real, vivid, vibrant and alive like she could never have imagined. She saw multicoloured caterpillars adorning lush green leaves, which in turn adorned earthy brown and patterned tree trunks, which adorned the exquisite beauty of the all-encompassing forest. Sounds were active, intense, clean, and pure as the songs of the millions of lifeforms that inhabited those woods swam throughout her ears and penetrated her mind.
The sounds of crickets, American robins, deer, and foxes all merged in perfect harmony to become a unified hymn of nature as her nose became awash with Winston’s masculine scent. Winston was always impeccably clean and showered at least three times a day. Still, right now, he’d clearly been exercising and, as a result, had a thin layer of sweat permeating and intensifying his delicious musk.
Then he began singing their song. The song he’d written for her so many months before and always sang when she needed comfort.
“I am for you, and you are for me.”
“When we are together, our souls they are free.”
“Free as the stars, as free as the seas.”
“Free as the eagles, and free to just be.”
“You’re not alone, I’m right by your side.”
“Always I’ll love you till after I die.”
“So please stop your crying,”
“And lose all your fear.”
“And enjoy your back rub.”
“Cause Winston is here.”
Despite Winston’s wishes, Antonia now had floods of tears streaming down her pale cheeks. Tears of happiness. Years of love. Tears of pure, indescribable joy.
His touch was so soft, gentle, and tender; it was electric. Every last syllable of every last word was a voyage to an unseen realm of delight. She could feel the resonant vibrations of his heart reverberating through his lungs, throat and lips to provide pure utterances of love that permeated her soul.
He whispered slowly in her ear. Constantly but softly. Softly but deeply. Deeply but with masculine purpose. And, at no point did he stop exploring her exposed skin with his chocolate fingers. They grazed her lips, neck, chin, and cheeks as he spoke into her ears through her hair. Then, he pulled her blonde hair back to expose her ears and neck, brought his lips to millimetres away from her tingling ears and spoke again.
Just the sound of his voice was enough to make the skin on her ears flush with blood and turn pink. Just the sound of his voice was enough to make the fine hairs on her body stand erect as the skin on which they stood became as sensitive and delicate as a blossoming rose.
Just the mere sound of his voice made her body quiver as its owner lost her ability to engage with reality.
Her entire frame had become a vessel through which he communicated with her very essence.
Antonia felt a blissful union with Winston; she was adrift in a sea of passionate love.
She felt herself losing herself within him as he spoke in those soft, hushed, honeyed whispers. She felt herself melting, merging, and flowing into a realm of oceanic unity. One where he was all that mattered. One where they were all that mattered. One where nothing else held significance.
She wasn’t the colour of her skin anymore. That was a concept which held no meaning. She wasn’t even her name because that was a concept which also held no meaning.
She wasn’t Antonia.
Who was Antonia?
She no longer felt the need to exist with that burden.
That pain.
Those shackles no longer weighed her down. She no longer had to remember who she was. She was no longer the ugly white girl with the big butt that nobody liked. The one nobody understood.
Now, she was free.
As free as an eagle soaring high in the skies and ascending towards the heavens through the clouds. As free as the wind flowing blissfully through that eagle’s feathers and as free as the trillions of rain droplets falling in swirling patterns gently to the ground below.
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She was free to be and do whoever and whatever pleased her. There were no constraints. No limits. No chains. No shackles. Her being was a flowing, gushing river of force.
Pure awareness.
Energy made manifest in universal divinity.
She was a goddess.
She was the goddess.
She was the source of all creation.
The divine feminine.
The spark of birth which becomes the piercingly bright flame of life before fading into the dark sleep of death, only to reawaken once more.
This was who she truly was. Who was Antonia? She didn’t even exist.
And with every soft touch, every tender caress, every feel of Winston’s thick lips grazing her cheek, she felt her vibration raising, rising, climbing, ascending, soaring, flying, and swelling.
But then, but then she noticed that she was indeed rising. She had left her own body. The being formerly known as Antonia had floated out of her body and was watching herself collapse against Winston’s strong masculine frame against that tree as the lifeforce of that forest breathed in and out in perfect unison with her lungs.
With every exhale of breath, fear, negativity, insecurity, and hatred poured out of her lungs as dark liquid gas. Gas, which was alchemised by the forest into a bright light of devotion. And, with every intake of breath, that bright white light flowed into her body, settled into her heart, morphed into a deep shade of luminous green and began shining like a beacon.
She watched in awe as its brilliance healed the cells of her body from the inside out. She watched in wonder as even the bruises and swelling on her face faded into mist before flowing outward into the forest. She watched in pure amazement as that mist interacted with the flora and fauna all around causing them to glow in indescribable hues of brilliance.
And, as all of this occurred, her spirit saw her white body react to Winston’s chocolate touch. She saw and felt her chest rise and fall with increasing speed. She saw and felt the temperature of her body grow until it felt like it was almost boiling.
She saw and felt moisture collect on her skin as beads of sweat that clung to her clothes, rolled down her skin and evaporated the night’s air.
And she also felt that feeling. That powerful feeling. The churning, explosive, burning, bleeding, oozing, flowing and blissful feeling. The feeling that made colours coalesce into shapes as she tasted the sounds of the forest’s wildlife. The feeling that made her soul and body once again become a vessel for a level of energy she couldn’t begin to fathom.
Her body grinded on the spot as gasps of pleasure left her lips as blue beams of light. Through a kaleidoscope of scents, sounds, colours and shapes, her spirit saw her body heat up to an indescribable degree as steam left her skin and even deeper moans of joy escaped her lips.
And then she felt a pull. A tug. Something overwhelming that she couldn’t even begin to fight against, and within seconds, she found herself sucked back into her body.
Then, the feelings intensified. And then the pleasure became a titanic drill of orgasmic charge. And then her lips were moaning louder and louder, even as Winston covered them with his strong brown hands.
He was still whispering, but she had no idea what he was saying. He seemed panicked, but she had no idea what he was saying. She didn’t have any idea of anything anymore.
All Antonia knew was that she was the universe, the universe was her, and all of it was collapsing into her. Fantasy and reality merged as her body and soul let out screams of delight that pierced the night sky and made her toes curl hard enough to break. She moaned, cried, screamed and thrashed for what felt like an eternity until strong hands grabbed Winston from behind.
Seconds later, Antonia was lying on the dirt, having the biggest orgasm of her life. She couldn’t stop herself. She was a conduit for forces much more potent than herself. All she could do was surrender to their indescribable power.
But as she cried and screamed with eyes glazed in delirium, she saw her father and other white men repeatedly kicking Winston in the face. She wanted to stop them, but she just couldn’t. She couldn’t move her body. It didn’t belong to her anymore. It belonged to the orgasm.
She wanted to save Winston, but she just couldn’t. Her body wasn’t her own. It belonged to the orgasm.
There was nothing she could do.
Antonia was no longer a separate person. She and Winston were one single unified being, and as her father repeatedly assaulted the man she loved, Antonia felt every last strike.
All while having the most powerful orgasm in existence.
As everything in her vision turned a pulsating field of white, Antonia heard someone scream the phrase “Nigger Lover.”
She wanted to save Winston, she wanted it more than anything, but she just couldn’t. Her body wasn’t her own. It belonged to the orgasm.
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