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source=link-attribution&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=image&utm_content=2202209">WikimediaImages</a> from <a href="https://pixabay.com/?utm_source=link-attribution&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=image&utm_content=2202209">Pixabay</a></figcaption></figure><h2 id="9996">“My way of doing it would be buying one of those giant things of duct tape and using the whole roll on his mouth to shut up him up. Then eventually he’ll get the pattern and stop crying automatically.”</h2><p id="cc04">Many writers suggested ignoring the tantrum, but that can also be carried too far as this next suggestion shows.</p><p id="ee18">This did <b>not</b> seem intended to be humorous. I hope this person did not have children.</p><h2 id="4488">If they are at home, pick them up and carry them to their room and hold the door close. Keep them in for one minute per year of age. DO NOT SPEAK TO THEM OR LET THEM KNOW YOU ARE STILL THERE. (You may have to hold the door closed.) After they calm down, speak to them and explain to them what they did wrong. Don’t scream and don’t allow them to control the conversation.</h2><p id="e182">This next suggestion was also quite concerning:</p><h2 id="95ca">In some countries, the child is put into a cool shower or taken outside if the weather is cold. This temperature change resets the brain and gets the child out of the tantrum. This is not cruel. The intent is not to hurt or teach them a lesson. It is strictly physical rebooting of a child who has lost control of his emotions. When you put the child in the shower, say, ” You are getting overheated and I am worried about you so I am going to cool you down.” That way the child knows you are not being cruel.</h2><p id="6ffc"><b>REALLY? </b>What countries are they talking about????</p><p id="39e4">This response bothers me as well:</p><h2 id="a1a5">It depends on why the toddler is upset. If it’s a tantrum, use the words “tantrums get you nothing” and put them to bed and have a cup of coffee or hot cocoa and deal.</h2><h2 id="39ba">WHY? Giving in to tantrums will cause more, this is a situation where the adult must win. Long term, the results are better, as next time you will ask what do tantrums get you? If the child doesn’t answer you repeat NOTHING and put them to bed. Eventually they get it and the question is answered and the tantrum stops.</h2><p id="708a">I will let you decide about this one where the writer differentiates between the child acting up because of temper versus not feeling well.</p><h2 id="7dda">If they are ill or in pain: showing the child love and tenderness goes a long ways, if not: the only time you don’t use it is when they are acting up in a negative manner. When they stop acting up, is when you show them you love them. I don’t want to piss anyone off with this comparison, but it is valid. The mentality of a toddler and untrained dog are very close. You don’t reward a dog for being vicious, but you do when it’s being good. We use the reverse correlation when training dogs, so its valid with children, too. Don’t shoot me over this, its just a simple fact.</h2><p id="b7f4">This one worries me as well. <b>I DO NOT THINK THIS IS GOOD ADVICE AT ALL:</b></p><h2 id="6ac4">My first baby was very hard to calm. My mother told me that my father used to smack my back much harder than she thought was reasonable (like patting the baby’s back, but harder), but that was the only thing that calmed me down. I tried it and it worked. Very surprising.</h2><p id="faaa">This next bit of advice is a bit political, but maybe it’s worth a try:</p><h2 id="6da5">There are so many ways to calm down a crying child but wha

Options

t would you do to calm down a big giant child like Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un they fight like a child and only threatens each other and when their wishes did not come true they cry like a child.</h2><h2 id="835d">Here are the following [2]ways from which you can use to calm down a crying child:

TV and Mobile Phones (uh, just no. Has this person not seen what Trump can do with a cell phone?)
Coloring and graphic book (might be worth a try), cry along with them (we already are crying).</h2><p id="dcb8">Here are four major reasons why some men should never be left alone with children:</p><h2 id="e852">1. I have tried a number of things. Holding upside down by one leg. It is quite difficult to cry like that. No, seriously I did that once and got a terrible telling off from my wife. It worked though but is probably a bad idea. The thing is toddlers have poor emotional control and so tantrums and tears when frustrated or even seemingly at random is a natural thing.</h2><h2 id="41e6">2. Thank you for asking my opinion. Ah, yes, the crying baby. There’s no best technique, because sometimes a baby cries because they’re in pain and you can’t cure it. Teething, for example, or stomach ache. In this case, the best thing to do is to pick up the baby and gently rocks it, while singing a lullaby. Old style. If there’s nothing particularly serious going on, typically, the best technique is for a mother to nurse her baby. Don’t have tits? Can’t nurse? Well, then refer to the technique above. One thing I like to do is simply lay down with the baby laying face down on top of my chest. He or she would cry a while, and then fall asleep. By then, so would I. So it’s a good combination: calming the baby and taking a nap.</h2><h2 id="085f">3. I have a very old fashioned method that appears to work immediately on a kid throwing a tantrum or crying jag (as opposed to a baby crying, which is a different matter entirely) — dash a cup of cold water right in their face.</h2><figure id="d146"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*YRUNa9ZMYAXX3YDaSueT7A.jpeg"><figcaption>Image by <a href="https://pixabay.com/users/fotografierende-4558536/?utm_source=link-attribution&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=image&utm_content=4491455">fotografierende</a> from <a href="https://pixabay.com/?utm_source=link-attribution&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=image&utm_content=4491455">Pixabay</a></figcaption></figure><h2 id="bdc5">It surprises them, they don’t expect it, they shut up. They aren’t hurt by it at all. Towel them off and don’t make a big thing out of it. (Oh, yeah. That makes it all right then.) After a crying jag or two is stopped that way the kid quickly realizes screeching and acting the spoiled brat is only going to result in instant reaction per cold water. Tykes are smart little buggers and they figure it out quickly that actions have consequences and being quiet is more comfortable than what happens when they have a meltdown.</h2><h2 id="1d29">4. Dip your finger in whiskey and let the baby suck on it a few times and they will fall asleep. (Nothing like turning your toddler into a lush.)</h2><p id="7e17">There were many more respondents who made truly logical suggestions about remaining calm yourself, giving hugs, singing or dancing with the child, or calmly talking to them and letting them talk about what is bothering them.</p><p id="7093">This proves that not everyone on Quora is a psycho.</p><p id="7674">So, I now pose the question to you, my dear readers:</p><h2 id="9e09">How would you calm a toddler throwing a screaming, crying, arm-slinging tantrum?</h2></article></body>

Advice

Toddlers, Tips, and Temper Tantrums

Questionable Advice on How to Stop It

I recently read an article in which a mother described how she calmed her special needs child when he had a meltdown/tantrum. She rubs the sole of his foot and it helps him.

I had three children in four years. The first two were only 15 months apart so I had two toddlers at the same time, three if I counted my husband.

My oldest child, a girl, did not just have tantrums, she had convulsions if she was tired, angry, or hurt. It would begin as a tantrum and end with me holding her arms over her head forcing her to breathe before she turned blue and passed out.

Doctors conducted tests, but found no reason for the convulsions. Since I was the only one ever with her, whenever she had the convulsions, the doctors doubted what I reported to be true.

Under the guise of counseling a 15 month old, they wanted to send us to a psychologist. I declined.

My second child was a son. I’ve always said he was the “perfect baby.” He almost never cried, loved to eat, and loved to sleep. At the age of two, my “perfect baby” turned into a perfect horror. I’ll never forget his first tantrum.

It was cold outside and we were waiting for the bus to take us into town to see a doctor for my daughter. We went inside a small diner to wait.

We had no money to buy anything so we were just waiting by the door. A man sitting at a table near us was eating a hot dog. My son loved hot dogs.

He began asking for a hot dog and we had to tell him no because we couldn’t afford to buy one. My “perfect baby” began screaming over and over that he wanted a hot dog.

He twisted and turned and and sreamed at the top of his lungs and nearly flipped out of my arms. Nothing my husband or I said or did could stop the loud outbursts, screaming, and kicking.

Eventually, we gave up and went home and gave the kid a hot dog.

Wondering how other people managed when their child threw a tantrum, I posed the question of how to calm a child mid-tantrum on Quora. Not how to prevent a tantrum, but to stop one.

I got a variety of responses. Many of them were quite sensible and stated the usual techniques for calming and soothing a terrorizing toddler.

Many gave nearly a three page response with suggestions before ending with “Good Luck.” This wish for good luck made me thing their great wisdom for ending tantrums might not be all that successful.

Then there were the more creative answers and some I found downright questionable.

Here are the ones I found disturbing and made me hope the respondent did not have children. I think some respondents may have intended to be funny.

At least, I hope this first one was intended to be humorous:

“My way of doing it would be buying one of those giant things of duct tape and using the whole roll on his mouth to shut up him up. Then eventually he’ll get the pattern and stop crying automatically.”

Many writers suggested ignoring the tantrum, but that can also be carried too far as this next suggestion shows.

This did not seem intended to be humorous. I hope this person did not have children.

If they are at home, pick them up and carry them to their room and hold the door close. Keep them in for one minute per year of age. DO NOT SPEAK TO THEM OR LET THEM KNOW YOU ARE STILL THERE. (You may have to hold the door closed.) After they calm down, speak to them and explain to them what they did wrong. Don’t scream and don’t allow them to control the conversation.

This next suggestion was also quite concerning:

In some countries, the child is put into a cool shower or taken outside if the weather is cold. This temperature change resets the brain and gets the child out of the tantrum. This is not cruel. The intent is not to hurt or teach them a lesson. It is strictly physical rebooting of a child who has lost control of his emotions. When you put the child in the shower, say, ” You are getting overheated and I am worried about you so I am going to cool you down.” That way the child knows you are not being cruel.

REALLY? What countries are they talking about????

This response bothers me as well:

It depends on why the toddler is upset. If it’s a tantrum, use the words “tantrums get you nothing” and put them to bed and have a cup of coffee or hot cocoa and deal.

WHY? Giving in to tantrums will cause more, this is a situation where the adult must win. Long term, the results are better, as next time you will ask what do tantrums get you? If the child doesn’t answer you repeat NOTHING and put them to bed. Eventually they get it and the question is answered and the tantrum stops.

I will let you decide about this one where the writer differentiates between the child acting up because of temper versus not feeling well.

If they are ill or in pain: showing the child love and tenderness goes a long ways, if not: the only time you don’t use it is when they are acting up in a negative manner. When they stop acting up, is when you show them you love them. I don’t want to piss anyone off with this comparison, but it is valid. The mentality of a toddler and untrained dog are very close. You don’t reward a dog for being vicious, but you do when it’s being good. We use the reverse correlation when training dogs, so its valid with children, too. Don’t shoot me over this, its just a simple fact.

This one worries me as well. I DO NOT THINK THIS IS GOOD ADVICE AT ALL:

My first baby was very hard to calm. My mother told me that my father used to smack my back much harder than she thought was reasonable (like patting the baby’s back, but harder), but that was the only thing that calmed me down. I tried it and it worked. Very surprising.

This next bit of advice is a bit political, but maybe it’s worth a try:

There are so many ways to calm down a crying child but what would you do to calm down a big giant child like Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un they fight like a child and only threatens each other and when their wishes did not come true they cry like a child.

Here are the following [2]ways from which you can use to calm down a crying child: 1. TV and Mobile Phones (uh, just no. Has this person not seen what Trump can do with a cell phone?) 2. Coloring and graphic book (might be worth a try), cry along with them (we already are crying).

Here are four major reasons why some men should never be left alone with children:

1. I have tried a number of things. Holding upside down by one leg. It is quite difficult to cry like that. No, seriously I did that once and got a terrible telling off from my wife. It worked though but is probably a bad idea. The thing is toddlers have poor emotional control and so tantrums and tears when frustrated or even seemingly at random is a natural thing.

2. Thank you for asking my opinion. Ah, yes, the crying baby. There’s no best technique, because sometimes a baby cries because they’re in pain and you can’t cure it. Teething, for example, or stomach ache. In this case, the best thing to do is to pick up the baby and gently rocks it, while singing a lullaby. Old style. If there’s nothing particularly serious going on, typically, the best technique is for a mother to nurse her baby. Don’t have tits? Can’t nurse? Well, then refer to the technique above. One thing I like to do is simply lay down with the baby laying face down on top of my chest. He or she would cry a while, and then fall asleep. By then, so would I. So it’s a good combination: calming the baby and taking a nap.

3. I have a very old fashioned method that appears to work immediately on a kid throwing a tantrum or crying jag (as opposed to a baby crying, which is a different matter entirely) — dash a cup of cold water right in their face.

It surprises them, they don’t expect it, they shut up. They aren’t hurt by it at all. Towel them off and don’t make a big thing out of it. (Oh, yeah. That makes it all right then.) After a crying jag or two is stopped that way the kid quickly realizes screeching and acting the spoiled brat is only going to result in instant reaction per cold water. Tykes are smart little buggers and they figure it out quickly that actions have consequences and being quiet is more comfortable than what happens when they have a meltdown.

4. Dip your finger in whiskey and let the baby suck on it a few times and they will fall asleep. (Nothing like turning your toddler into a lush.)

There were many more respondents who made truly logical suggestions about remaining calm yourself, giving hugs, singing or dancing with the child, or calmly talking to them and letting them talk about what is bothering them.

This proves that not everyone on Quora is a psycho.

So, I now pose the question to you, my dear readers: