Today’s Rant No. 6: Retail Life Edition

Summary

The author reflects on their seven-year experience in the retail industry, highlighting both the positive aspects and the challenges faced, including odd working hours, difficult customer interactions, and company policies.

Abstract

The article titled "Today’s Rant No. 6: Retail Life Edition" recounts the author's experiences working in a multinational supermarket chain. Despite holding mid-level management positions and gaining valuable business insights, the author describes the retail environment as demanding and sometimes bizarre, with erratic shift times and insufficient rest between them. The author debunks the myth of the customer always being right, pointing out absurd requests and behaviors from customers, such as expecting staff to identify products without any details or returning empty supplement bottles with dubious claims. The author also criticizes the lack of support from store management, particularly regarding pay raises and time off, and the physical toll of the job. However, the author acknowledges that not all aspects of retail work were negative, as they made lasting friendships with colleagues. The article serves as a cautionary yet humorous take on the retail industry, advising readers not to be deterred from such work despite the challenges.

Opinions

The author has a generally positive view of their overall retail experience, despite the challenges.
Customers can be unreasonable and lack common sense, as exemplified by their expectations and return policies.
The retail industry's approach to employee welfare, including shift scheduling, pay raises, and time off, is criticized.
The author implies that the retail industry could benefit from more empathetic and flexible management practices.
Despite the difficulties, the author values the relationships formed with coworkers and suggests that these can be a highlight of working in retail.
The author uses humor and sarcasm to convey the frustrations of retail work, indicating a somewhat tongue-in-cheek perspective on their experiences.

Today’s Rant No. 6: Retail Life Edition

Before I became your least favorite Medium writer, I spent seven years working in retail. Without identifying my ex-employer by name, I can tell you it is a popular, multinational supermarket chain.

I held mid-level management positions during my time there — buyer, supervisor, and assistant department manager. I overall had a positive experience working in retail and gained a lot of knowledge about the business world.

However, the retail industry was also challenging and sometimes downright weird. First, the starting times for shifts varied greatly each day. Some days, 5 a.m. And other days, 2:30 p.m. There were also times we would end shifts at 11 p.m. and have to return at 6 a.m. for mandatory meetings. Awesome. Just enough time to barf and cry myself to sleep.

Breaking news: the customer is not always right. I cannot emphasize this enough. Spent my first four years working in the supplement department. You would be shocked at how many times I have heard customers ask: “Can you help me find a product? I didn’t bring the bottle, can’t remember its name and don’t know what it does — but I know you have it.” No joke. Every single day. Wish we would have sold a supplement to increase common sense. Company would have made a fortune.

Also, the number of customers who would come to the store with empty supplement bottles and ask for refunds was outrageous. “I’m returning it because I took 10 times the recommended dose and it caused me to have a … eh … malfunction in the bedroom.” Trust me, sir. Meeting you today is causing me to experience the same malfunction.

But the most common customer interaction: “Can you help me find this product? I know you have it. Just bought it here yesterday.” Really? Then why is the product in your hand more expired than Abraham Lincoln and a brand we have never carried in this store?

I worked in produce my last three years with the company. For the love of God, Buddha, and Stephen Curry: please stop picking fruits and veggies from the bottom of displays! Listen, I know it is “my job” to clean up after you, but please have some decency. Pulling from the bottom of a display is like hiring Kim Kardashian to be your attorney: what person with a brain would do that?

Christmas tree season was a headache. Team members were not allowed to tie trees to customer vehicles, per company policy. Liability reasons, I assume. Of course, every customer would become enraged at our refusals to strap trees to their vehicles. “Are you serious? You know how much I paid for this thing? I’m going to have your job for this!” Cool. If you take my job, can I have yours? It almost certainly pays better.

Interactions with store management were tricky. Asking for days off was almost impossible. In fact, requesting days off during the holidays (Nov. 1 to Jan. 1) was banned. “Hey, boss. I’m planning to die tomorrow. Do you think I could have the day off?” “Sorry, can’t help you. You know the rules.” (Cue fake retail laugh) “No problem, boss. My corpse will be here bright and early tomorrow.” “Now, that’s the spirit.”

Pay raises were non-existent. Employees could only earn a maximum of five percent raises each year— assuming they got perfect performance reviews, which almost nobody received. Otherwise, raises would range from 0–4 percent. “Can’t give you a raise this year, unfortunately. Big boss has concerns about you. Didn’t say what they were, but he definitely has concerns. Good news though — the ‘crying room’ upstairs is available. You can have a sheet of tissue and five minutes on the clock to go there and cry your heart out. Look, the tissue is even paraben-free and organic.”

As bleak as retail sounds, my experience was not all bad. In fact, some of my best friends to this day are former co-workers.

Do not let my article discourage you from working in retail. Sure, this is not the most optimistic piece I have ever written. But to be fair, I am Medium’s top writer in sports — not inspiration.