Today’s Rant No. 28: Language Edition

Previously on “Today’s Rant No. 27: Fall Edition”

• I was born and raised in the San Francisco Bay Area. The youngest of four children. Although we spoke mostly English at home, we spoke some Cantonese as well. As a small child, I knew how to say basic phases in Cantonese, such as “I would like some water” and “I am not feeling well.” However, I did not know how to read or write Chinese characters, with the exception of numbers and my name.
• While Mandarin is China’s official dialect, Cantonese is quite popular in its own right. It is spoken by more than 55 million people in Guangdong and southern Guangxi provinces in China along with Canton, Hong Kong, and Macau, according to Britannica. It is also spoken by 20 million more folks outside of those regions.
• My mom registered me for Cantonese classes when I was 12. She wanted to refine the linguistic skills I had learned at home and also hoped I would learn new words. I unfortunately by that age had become an egotistic preteen with more interest in looking cool (that was my intention, at least) and socializing with classmates. Hence, while I still managed to earn decent grades, I paid little attention in class and did not retain much of the material. This is why the United States should not allow adolescents to legally run for president, purchase alcohol and cigarettes, and get tattoos. Most of them have poor judgement. We had mistakenly elected a president with adolescent-like maturity in 2016 and paid a steep price for it.
• I have the Cantonese skills of a seven-year-old child at the moment, which is less than ideal. Hence, to assure our son, Mateo, is a better linguist than I am, my wife, Kay, and I plan to eventually register him for Cantonese lessons. We actually hope Mateo becomes trilingual, so Kay (who is Guatemalan) and I plan to speak Spanish and English to him at home.
• Speaking of Spanish (pun intended), I had studied it in high school and college. Hence, I probably speak better Spanish than Cantonese at this point, but not by much. Similar story where I had not taken Spanish seriously in school and settled for C grades. Of course, who could have predicted I would fall in love with Kay and be welcomed wholeheartedly into her family, all of whom are native Spanish speakers?
• Kay and my mother-in-law, Lucky, have patiently tutored me in Spanish, which I appreciate. But I refuse to take more formal classes. I believe we, as human beings, can learn any skill as long as we live it. Eat and drink it. Breathe and immerse ourselves in it. I live in a section of Southern California with a large Latino population. I am fortunate to hear Spanish every day at grocery stores, theaters, and even parks. Thus, I hope to become fluent in the language by simply “living it.”
• I hope to eventually have the knowledge and confidence to write an entire article in Spanish. Not sure what the subject would be. Sports? Humor? Parenting? No clue, but I hope to do it one day. The pathetic Cleveland Browns are likely to win a Super Bowl before it happens, but I digress…
• I would like to learn more languages in the future. French. Japanese. Even American Sign Language. But I really should master Cantonese and Spanish first. Fortunately for me, I now have the emotional maturity to want to learn both languages. At least, I hope so as a husband and father nearing 40 years old. Meanwhile, I pray Mateo has a love for learning and understands the power he would possesses with the ability to speak multiple languages fluently.
• Many job opportunities would open for Mateo if he could master three languages. How about a lawyer? Or perhaps a doctor? Or maybe even president of the United States? Or how about egotistic preteen? Nah, there are nothing but dead-end jobs in that industry. Trust me — I would know.