Today’s “Princess and the Pea

The tenant, almost expecting not to be believed, “The bump has moved!”

#55 Real Estate Man

Mostly everyone has read or had the fairy tale the “Princess and the Pea” read to them when they were kids. This delightful yarn was published in 1835. Stretching the story a bit, this is the modern day equivalent of that fable.

Real Estate Man’s story:

In viewing an apartment, one of the first things anyone sees is the floor covering. Wall to wall carpeting is enjoyed by many. Sometimes it’s hard to keep any carpet fresh with the constant stream of tenants living on it throughout the years. I try to replace rugs when they becomes too stained or odoriferous to be attractive. After all,” You never get a second chance to make a first impression” goes for apartment showings as well as job interviews.

Lombard St. 4-D had just shed it’s prior tenant who was none too tidy. In addition, the prior tenant’s dog had just shed his coat and made other deposits on the carpet. I called a few dealers and signed a contract to buy a modest priced Berber and to have it installed the first available time the following week. In the meantime my agent was able to rent the apartment with the promise of a new rug installation the day before occupancy. All parties trusting each other to do his job for everything to work out.

The rug kickers were on time and my tenant moved in the next day to a pristine apartment with a brand new rug. Nothing like the smell of newness.

The 2nd day the tenant occupied the apartment I got a phone call.

Tenant urgently: “There’s a bump in my rug!”

Me not particularly concerned but feigning interest: “Where is the bump?”

Tenant almost expecting to not be believed: “The bump has moved!”

Me interest piqued: “ Are you sure?”

Tenant wavering, unsure whether to believe her own observation: “I think a little.”

Me still suspicious:”Keep your eye on it and if it moves again, I’ll send someone over.”

Thinking that the bump is part of the normal folds that appear to be in wall to wall carpeting the first few days. More likely, however, it’s probably a fantasy of the tenant’s.

The next day I received a call from the tenant saying she was sure the bump had moved. Now, becoming a little bit fascinated, I sent the superintendent (Bud) over to her place immediately. He reported that there was, indeed, a bump in the rug. Bud couldn’t swear as to its migration but there was a bump above and beyond the normal new rug ridges. In fact, he reported, there appeared to be 2 bumps.

When the rug layers came back the next day and pealed back the rug there was revealed a live mouse that the original crew appeared to have covered over without noticing. The mouse was freed and the rug was re stretched and relayed.

To this day I don’t know how the mouse felt about it but he scurried away as soon as he realized he was set free of the rug prison.

Probably to resurface in someone else’s complaint.

An interesting sidebar: the 2nd bump turned out to be a pack of cigarettes that belonged to one of the original rug kickers.

Hell of a way to give up smoking, if you ask me.

The superintendent rechristened the tenant who reported the bump in the rug, “ Princess.” Bud claimed, as a child, he was a big fan of the Hans Christian Anderson’s fairy tale about the Prince who tested his potential Princesses for authenticity by placing a pea under multiple mattresses to see if any one of the women tested had the spoiled sensitivity to loose sleep because of the minute bump the pea made. She would be his princess.

Who’d have thought?

The first time Bud called our new tenant Princess to her face, I cringed.

However, I believe our Lombard St. Princess thinks Bud is coming on to her and is mildly flattered.