Friendship

Today I Need to Be a Good Friend, so I Took a Cold Shower

I need my energy right

“Friends are an indispensable part of a meaningful life. They are the ones who share our burdens and multiply our blessings. A true friend sticks by us in our joys and sorrows. In good times and bad, we need friends who will pray for us, listen to us, and lend a comforting hand and an understanding ear when needed.” — Beverly LaHaye

I took a cold shower because I was looking at a demanding day. While I and mine are fine, friends I love are experiencing stormy seas in their lives. Throughout this pandemic, everyone has experienced challenging situations. But the last week has piled on trying situations, one on top of the other.

One friend’s brother was missing for a week. They found him injured and unconscious in a hospital. They admitted him to the hospital but had no identification. He was the victim of a hit and run on his bicycle. He never regained consciousness, died. His funeral is today. He did not leave a will, so there was much vigorous family discussion over what he wanted to be done with his body. He is being buried, so those who wanted cremation lost out to his closest next of kin. Bitterness is lingering.

Another friend’s husband went on a business trip to Europe. I called her to chit-chat. She told me he was not coming back. WHAT! He had sent her a text. Breaking up with someone you are married to via text was cowardly. In response, she sold their house to one of those cash-now organizations. She had anything she wanted moved to a storage unit this weekend. His possessions may be on fire on the front lawn, but I don’t know that for sure. If she sends him a text, it could read, “I sold the house, and all your stuff is on fire.”

Yet another friend’s twenty-year-old granddaughter is pregnant but has caught COVID-19. This friend is estranged from her family. She has headed across the country anyway because she worried her daughters’ political views will stop her from making the best decisions about the care of the granddaughter. She thinks her very presence in the area will cause a behavior change. The drama is coming with her.

I took the cold shower because of an article I read by Dr Mehmet Yildiz.

The article focused on taking a cold shower to get on track. Well, I need to find lots of kindness and compassion today if I will be a good friend. I AM going to be a good friend.

My part is made more complex because of all the idiots in this world. It would surprise you at the number of people who don’t know what to say to those who are hurting. They say the craziest things to those in pain. I’m calm in the midst of the storms.

So today, I’m not. I’m not adding to their pain. My goal is to talk very little, listen sincerely and support them. I will use the energy boost generated by starting the day shocked awake to help.

One day, I will be the one needing support. I’m doing what I think they need, not what I want or what I would do. So, I need to be crisp and focused. And I will be. My comrades need comfort from a caring friend. Here I go.

Toni Crowe retired as the Vice President of Operations to pursue her dream of being a writer. Toni has written six books, two of which won the 2019 Reader’s Choice Gold Awards. Her bestselling business book, “Bullets and Bosses Don’t Have Friends: How Do You Manage A Man Sitting With His Dick in His Hand?” was one of the winners. Her first book, “Never a $7 Whore”, was the other.

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