Today, I Let You Down. It Will Happen Again.
There’s only one way to avoid that.
Today, I let down a friend.
I feel guilty and embarrassed.
He still hasn’t accepted my apology, and I don’t blame him.
I wish there were more hours in a day
The last days were very busy.
I was working on different things from early morning to late night.
Yesterday, I arranged to have a phone call with a good friend of mine. We hadn’t met in a while and wanted to catch up.
Amid the chaos of to-dos, tasks to finish, and errands to run, I forgot to check my phone.
When I did, it was midnight.
Oh no, I realized, I had forgotten our phone call.
An unanswered apology
I quickly grabbed my phone and sent my friend a voice memo to apologize.
He had made time for me. Probably told his girlfriend he wasn’t available that night, because he was having a chat with an old friend. He had been looking forward to talking to me.
I, on the other hand, was so caught up in my work, that I forgot about him.
He must’ve felt like he wasn’t a priority to me.
That’s why I sent him a second message promising him it won’t happen again.
Now, 12 hours later, he still hasn’t replied.
Can I blame him?
No.
When you do it twice, it is a choice
The truth is, this wasn’t the first time I let him down.
We both know this won’t have been the last time.
I will let him down again.
The problem lies deeper than a busy schedule.
I don’t have to fix my schedule, I have to fix my priorities.
This friend isn’t the only friend I forgot about or canceled on short notice during the last weeks.
If I repeat the same pattern: arrange a meeting at a random time and day without thinking about it twice, this will happen again.
Instead, I have to get my priorities straight:
What matters most to me?
How can I make sure to get all the things done I truly care about?
Does he even matter to me?
When you fail to make time for something, you have to answer two questions:
- Is this actually important to me?
- If it is, what has to change for me to be able to do it?
In my case, the answers were simple:
- Yes.
- Get my life under control.
I have too many things to do. I fall into the habit of overloading my schedule quickly.
Trying to do too much at once is a recipe for disaster.
You start letting others down, failing at your projects, and burning yourself out.
This was a huge wake-up call.
It’s time to declutter again.
Winning back broken trust
Friendships are a top priority for me. Being dependable and a person you can trust is another one.
I’ve neglected both of these priorities during the last weeks.
When you are unable to make time for the most important things in your life, it’s time to take a step back.
I will try to do just that.
If it all goes well, that will win back the trust of my friends.
Dear friend,
I hope you will accept my apology eventually. Please know I care about you and want to spend time with you.
It’s just that I’m trying to do too many things at once again.
The next time we arrange a meeting, I will not let you down.
But honestly, I shouldn’t promise that.
I have to fix my life first.
Otherwise, I’m afraid, I will let you down again.
P.S. This is one of my favorite songs of 2023 and the inofficial hymn to this post: