To The Incoming Freshman, I Hope This Finds You Well
As a recent college graduate (does two years out of college still count as recent?), I feel I can still speak to the emotions, memories and lessons I gained from being in school. Four years is not a long time and it goes by even quicker. So, get ready for the highs and the lows. They come at you fast but it’s also an adventure in that way.
Here are some pieces of advice for you to bring along to college.
- The first couple of months are hard
Everyone tells you about move-in day. The upperclassmen will help you get your belongings stuffed into the elevator. There will be banners in your new school colors, welcoming you to your new dorm. There will be smiles on so many people’s faces.
However, it may not feel as cheery a week later when you are not sure who will want to go to the football game. You may get that feeling in your chest that makes you want to squirm out of your own skin. It is a hard feeling to sit with. Eventually, you will find the person who wants to go to the football game. You will find the person who wants to sit in the library and study together. This feeling will pass. You will just have to get through the uncomfortable newness of the whole situation for a little.
2. You will feel like you are behind on everything
How do they have a group of friends already?! That person has already joined 4 clubs!? Why are they walking around like they know something I don’t? Trust me, they do not know more than you. If anything, they are saying the same thing about you to themselves.
I had this experience with a close friend from school. I had seen her around with this group all freshman year. She seemed so content and happy with her friends. She was at all the parties and games with people. So, I thought she had found her people and was happy. When she and I got close the next year, she told me how miserable she was the year prior. She said she did not connect with the people she was with. She went with them to events because she did not want to sit in her dorm alone. She found her true friends after and couldn’t have been happier. You never know how others are feeling.
It takes time to find your people and get involved in groups that you really love. Allow yourself the patience to get there.
3. Your first week of college friends may not be your forever friends and that is okay
The first people you meet at college may be people in your orientation group. Usually those groups are put together randomly. They may not be people who are in the same major as you or like the same things as you. So, if you are friendly with someone your first week but then drift apart as the semester goes on, that is okay! It makes way to find the true friends you will get to travel through the rest of college with.
4. This school gave you an acceptance letter because they believe you are smart and capable enough to be there. Do not let anyone else make you feel like you don’t.
Impostor syndrome may set in during the fall. You may question if you are smart enough to pass a class or sit next to such intelligent people. It’s a scary feeling to process. I know high school valedictorians who have felt this way once they have gotten to college. The reality is, there will always be someone smarter than you. In a world of 7+ billion people, there will be someone smarter than you. However, you were given a seat at the table (your acceptance letter) because you are smart and capable. The school saw you as a great addition to their student body. Focus on your work and only measure yourself now to who you were yesterday. If you have gained some skill or knowledge since then, you are succeeding. Remind yourself this when the impostor syndrome sets in at 12:30am on a Wednesday.
5. This is the only time in your life when you can try things for free
I say this with the caveat that you first have to pay for college. However, once you do so, it’s like an all-expenses-paid deal.
You think I am joking? You can “audit” any course at your college FOR FREE. Auditing a course means that you can enroll in a course just to learn. Granted, you will not get a grade in the class or have it really written anywhere that you took the class. However, you can gain knowledge that costs THOUSANDS of dollars! That’s just one free opportunity!
You can join most clubs/majority of clubs for free. If you want to join any type of club or community after college, it costs money. I have found free running groups for post-grads, but you have to run; a major draw back.
I know I sound like a cheap grandparent who gives you $5 for your birthday, but there are so many free things that you get in college that you cannot get in any other point in your life. In the real world, people are not sitting along the sidewalk, shooting free t-shirts out of t-shirt cannons just because it’s Tuesday.
6. You will change so much in such a short amount of time.
I hate when adults have said this to me. You don’t know me! Apparently, I didn’t know myself either. If I look back to who I was when I was a high school senior, I cannot recognize her at all. First, you really liked those bands? You wore that? You said what? Okay, I should be nicer to her.
You will change a lot in college. What you like (food, music, etc.) may change. The way you think critically, will evolve. What you want to do with your life will shift to either a more narrowed version of the original idea or will go a different way completely. You may start dating a gender you never thought you would.
College is this pressure cooker that melds you into an adult in 4 years. Only 4 years! Well, some people I know who have graduated are still not adults, but that’s a separate issue. You will feel the change. It’s emotional growing pains and they may hurt a bit too. If as a college senior you say, “Ugh, the freshman are so loud and annoying. I was never like that.” it means you have grown. Guess what! You were just as loud and annoying.
7. Sit on a roof, jump on a couch and crank up the music on a Friday night.
Yup!
Life is hard sometimes. You are growing. Always give yourself time to just relax and have fun.
Especially to my sister, the recent high school graduate, I hope this helps in your next stage of life.