To Stop Procrastinating, Befriend These Quiet Parts of Yourself

The subterranean psychology that drives your (lack of) mental clarity.

When we think about improving focus, our minds tend to move in the direction of tactics: the Pomodoro technique, time blocking, etc.

These practices can work sometimes. But they can also function like bandages.

They mask surface-level problems, yet tapping into deep, sustainable levels of focus — the kinds that feel nourishing and generative — requires deeper levels of experimentation.

I’ve found that procrastination tends to come from parts of myself I’ve long locked outside of my conscious awareness.

By getting into conversation with these parts, I’ve been able to tap into natural reserves of motivation that aren’t dependent on my energy levels. And I no longer have to conjure the same degree of willpower to feel motivated to work.

Part #1: The Rejection-Fearing Part that Equates the Loss of the Tribe with Physical Danger

Nearly all the dysfunction modern people face relates to the disconnection between our current society and the way humans lived for thousands of years.

For hundreds of thousands of years, losing the approval of your tribe was a threat to your survival.

Our subconscious minds haven’t yet received the message that learning to stand without the tribe’s approval may actually be part of the recipe for personal empowerment, not death.

When I procrastinate, it comes from the fear that if I say something wrong, I’ll be blundered by criticism. My readers will throw digital tomatoes that will burn holes straight through my character.

I try to write but do nothing but negotiate with a chorus of voices critiquing my every word.

But what if being okay with being wrong and bad was the secret to personal liberation?

Think about how much of your daily thinking revolves around being seen as talented, righteous, or the bearer of other admirable qualities.

While it feels lovely to be seen in this way, the positive regard of other people can serve as a cage. If you build a self-concept around being seen positively in the eyes of others, it makes you their captive.

Next time you’re procrastinating, experiment with pretending you’ve already failed. When you give up your attachment to approval, you’re left with nothing but your inner resources. They may surprise you.

Part #2: The Desperate Pauper Who Must Prove Herself Worthy of Support

The brilliant priestess and author Carolyn Elliott has suggested that human beings are drama-loving creatures. We think we suffer because our burning desires go unmet in this emotionally abusive, sub-lunar realm.

Yet in actuality, we’re in love with the feeling of being teased by the universe. Ask yourself: Deep down (at a level far below your ego and persona), is there a part of you who procrastinates because she knows that without the looming possibility of rejection, life would lose its juice?

Imagine if before you started your work, you were certain of exactly how it would be perceived and what it would be like to create it. Is there any part of you who would miss the thrill of uncertainty, followed by the wave of relief when you’re appreciated and praised for your work?

Even if you can’t resonate with this, can you imagine that you can? Do you see how even playing with this imaginatively could bring a zing to your creative process?

If we always felt flawlessly confident in our work, the triumph of our success wouldn’t taste nearly as sweet. It might even be boring. Strangely, it might make the process feel even more like drudgery, like monotonous enslavement.

So, next time you’re feeling the urge to procrastinate, savor the contrast between feeling uncertain about the way your work will be perceived and the joy of securing delight from your audience. Without the distance between the two, the juice would dry up.

Part #3: The Reckless, Machiavellian Impostor

If you’ve ever done any copywriting, you might be familiar with a voice that emerges in your initial rough drafts.

It’s the voice of the bald, greasy-faced salesman trying to sell something to the reader. This voice barrels forth when you’re first trying to spin a call-to-action, and it’s coming out contrived.

Instead of fighting with the snake oil salesman within, experiment with consciously drawing on its energy. Stop trying to fight it, and instead step into the role of the trickster, the impostor, and the lying huckster. Create from the perspective of the trickster, rather than trying to deny she’s there.

When you consciously tap into this part of yourself, you’ll be surprised by how quickly the sense of contrivance fades. The more you offer approval to this impostor, the more abundant the proof that what you’re offering is truly valuable.

Why? Stepping into the role of the impostor permits you to just be, without the webbing of so much cautious articulation.

Do you want to stare deeply into the caverns of my soul? I’d like to do the same with you.

Follow me on Instragram for confessional posts about inner work, the psychology of personal development, and reality creation principles.