To Reenter or Not To Reenter — Is the Question

When reentry might not be the right solution

I was going to start a full-time job almost after one and a half years. Sure, there were anxieties about using public transportation in COVID (my job needed me to be in the office for the initial training period — with all the necessary precautions) when the cases were still surging in my city. And I had no idea how my toddler would react to be with a nanny after seeing only two faces — and occasionally some other masked faces — for more than a year. Moreover, I didn’t know if I was ready to be back working full-time. But I was looking forward to getting restarted.

Everything at this new job was good, and I liked it there — at least for the first week. As the routine was setting in the second week, that familiar feeling kicked in again — the same feeling I had in my previous full-time jobs. The feeling of boredom that working 9–5 five days a week brings. And it’s not limited to working in the office only, remote work is the same.

However, before I could get deeper into this 9–5 mode of things, unfortunately (or fortunately), I had to quit the job because my daughter wasn’t getting along with the nanny.

It felt bad, but I wasn’t disheartened. I had got time to think over that looming question that had come to the forefront again — my discomfort with 9–5 jobs.

Before COVID could do that, the US immigration system had already paused my professional life. I was 8 months pregnant when I had to leave my new job because of visa issues. I had gone through a regressive selection process for that job and within 6 months; I had to quit. Luckily, I had the first year of parenting to divert my attention from my ‘not eligible to work’ visa status.

But I knew I wanted to be back soon. So, we moved to Canada in June 2020 — amidst the first wave of COVID. I started a remote part-time job, but it never felt like a reentry to the workforce until I started that full-time job (which lasted for 2 weeks only) in April this year.

After quitting this new job, I thought to use this unwanted break to ponder over some hard-pressing questions I was ignoring.

Do I really want to go back to a 9–5 work environment?

Do I like my new career path i.e. arts administration?

Should I go back to IT which is high-paying and in-demand?

I don’t know what I expected when I decided to pursue an arts degree as an international student. Even the US visa officer had scratched his head on why I was making this transition. And it was soon clear to me why.

Getting a job was difficult and when I got one, it was all the same — the same 9–5 job issues plus less salary. However, moving to a new country with no visa restrictions had given me the freedom to go back to IT. Canada has several programs for immigrants to start or restart a career in IT. I started the process to apply for one such program but ended up withdrawing my application. I remembered why I left IT in the first place and wouldn’t want to go back there.

I also thought about how I hadn’t given my new career a real chance yet. Most of my time after degree completion was dedicated to parenting. A new career needed more time. So, I was back at applying for the similar arts administration jobs that I resigned from — the ones I was reluctant to go back to but had better chances of getting in. But something didn’t feel right so I paused once more.

Should I be switching careers again?

Changing careers or having multiple careers is a lot more common these days. I also understand that it’s a privilege to have time and resources to follow your heart and to keep jumping careers.

In life, we dread wrong decisions. What if this is a wrong decision and we lose money, time, or something else at stake. But sticking to a miserable present is not a solution either.

When I had decided to switch careers and go ahead with an arts administration degree, I had taken my interests at the time into account. It was the best decision I could make at that time. But time changed and my interests changed too. I have multiple interests and I want to try a lot of things as I love being a beginner.

I was told many years ago by my grandmother who raised me: if somebody puts you on a road and you don’t feel comfortable on it and you look ahead and you don’t like the destination, and you look behind and you don’t want to return to that place, step off the road. — Maya Angelou

So, after spending more than 2 years trying to reenter my previous careers paths, I am having this realization that reentry might not be what I want.

A fresh start, a new beginning — is what I need.