MWC Work

To Protect My Writing, I Had To Stand Up In Court and Defend Myself

In order to find my purpose, I had to lose my freedom and learn how to stand up for myself.

“If you wish to be a good writer then write as if nobody will ever read your stories”.

Stupidly I followed the advice that led me straight into a courtroom and cost me all my savings. You see, I am a writer who hoped to get my stories out into the world and receive recognition. Instead, I got a front-row seat in the witness box, where I had to defend my stories.

Last year I started writing online articles on various trending topics such as mental health. I did all that a writer is advised to do to reach reader engagement and generate the most income. To enhance revenue, I signed up for writing programs: I learnt, studied and researched the topics I chose to write about and to joined and engaged with online communities where these topics were discussed.

I went so far that I have even studied a course on Psychology to write more accurately about certain mental health conditions. I’ve done that for over a year, investing over $2,000 into my writing.

I never expected anything in return, I just did what I love the most — writing.

You see, I am a graduated screenwriter: I wrote a fictional novel, I published several short stories and wrote a few TV screenplays. But somehow I ended up working full-time in the video games industry as a marketing manager. Writing online about various topics was a completely new field for me, so I believed that in order to succeed I had to invest first and learn more about this new trendy craft.

Ironically writing online articles cost me over $30,000 and my relationship with my stepson.

“To succeed online you should write personal stories: open up, spill your guts out, let the reader experience your agony — make them cry, laugh and most importantly drag them to hell with you, don’t let them ever doubt your writing, make them blindly believe that your story is the only truth. Make it so good, that no one would ever consider it to be made up.”

I decided to write all of my stories in the first person and make them as believable as I could. My goal was simple: to provoke, entrap and enchant my readers. After a few stories, my writing was picked up by various popular publications and my reader engagement improved. I was awarded the accolade of being a top writer in a few categories.

I’ve gained a humble amount of followers, made modest pocket money but was still far from getting that Mustang that I’ve always dreamed of.

During the day, I kept to my usual work — video games marketing, in the afternoon I’ve researched the most provocative topics to write about and in the evening I wrote online, splattering all my thoughts on a paper and sharing it with millions of readers, unaware that I had one avid fan, who was savouring every word I wrote, awaiting an opportunity to misuse it against me.

Out of nowhere, this person dragged me into their own drama, making defamatory statements about me, portraying me as dangerous, psychotic and even going as far as stating that my alleged behaviours could have endangered a child. Their evidence?

My fictional online stories.

There are no words to describe how I felt when I was accused of the above: it was surreal. I could not grasp my head around it because of multiple reasons, I will name just a few.

First, this person has never brought up any issues with me directly, they’ve been always very friendly to me and have encouraged my presence in my stepson’s life. Secondly, they’ve known of my online stories since I have shared them on social media: liked them, re-shared them and commented on them, knowing too well, that I am a professional writer. Thirdly, anyone who has used a healthy mind will surely realize after reading my stories that they are exaggerated and do not define me as a person or anyone else.

I’ve written stories where I depict myself as suffering from countless mental health conditions: OCD, bipolar disorder, borderline, anxiety, depression, agoraphobia, bulimia, anorexia, “spoiled brat syndrome”, anger intermittent disorder, ADHD, ASD, dementia, social phobia — I had it all.

Someone so sick will likely struggle with simple day to day tasks never mind creating a writing profile and publishing stories.

I ignored the accusations as they were absurd. I felt it to be waste of time to even deal with them. I realized that I have been “targeted” by a scorned person, who perhaps is either unwell or is just plain miserable and wishes to hurt me because of their own insecurities.

I didn’t react, knowing that reaction would only feed them. I hoped they would just go away. But my most avid fan got creative: they used words from my own stories to come up with situations that have never happened to portray me as “unsafe”.

My relationship with my beloved stepson was jeopardized because of these ludicrous accusations. Social services got involved and to my despair, they were “unsure” if my stories were fiction and whether I could potentially pose a risk to a child.

I could not believe it: how more ridiculous could this situation get?

I stopped writing, not just online but offline too. All I had left now was my daytime marketing job which didn’t seem appealing like before.

I had nothing to look forward to in the afternoon, my writing routine was gone. I was angered, and I regretted writing online stories. I even considered deleting all of my stories and burning all of my manuscripts.

“Damn you all, I never should have fallen in love with a pen!”

You see, I love writing. It is my escape. By writing, I can explore outer worlds, smell various scents, become somebody else, re-live lives and fall in love over and over again.

Writing lets me live without fear, feel unconditional love, mourn and laugh at the same time. It lets me create and meet people that I will never truly meet and delve inside their souls searching for their true purpose.

The day I stopped writing I realized that if I am not writing, I am not living either.

In the last two years, I thought of leaving my safe and stable career in video games: I’ve felt as if I gave it my all and it was time to move on. Somehow I never took that step, because I wasn’t prepared to depend on one thing that I love the most — writing.

I took cowardly baby steps instead: I kept my daytime job, occasionally I wrote video game characters and I wrote articles, hoping that one day one of my stories will go viral and then perhaps I would be able to write full-time. I also had savings which I planned to invest into property and to take that next courageous step and live from writing.

I was supposed to take that step last year, instead, I ended up in court.

To save my relationship with my stepson and clean my name I submitted all the evidence to disprove the lies. I didn’t write for 6 months as I lived in fear that If I write, every world would be again used against me. At times, when I tried writing my stories were under censorship.

Writing suddenly became torturous: my hands very cuffed, my lips shut while my mind was broken.

Social services considered that it would be best if I attend the court to provide evidence about my writing in person. Even though their decision puzzled me, it awakened my inner writer who craved the once in a lifetime experience of being in court. I had a choice to make, either I stand by my written statements and don’t show up or I show up and protect my relationship with my stepchild, defend my stories and stand up for myself.

Somehow, the decision to go to court has awakened me. As if along with the decision to go to court, another unconscious decision was made — to write again.

In court, I was questioned for two hours: I was confident, concise and I knew what I wanted from the future. I stood there and spoke about my stories, the motivation behind writing, the relationship with my stepchild, I spoke of myself a lot. The prosecution kept on pressing unsuccessfully, they were impatient, frustrated, they wished to break me but they could not.

I could not stop talking. I was silent too long. I didn’t want to leave the witness box anymore: I wished to be heard.

I wasn’t protecting my writing anymore, I was there to stand up for myself.

You see, many people enjoy putting others down. These people live in denial about their true circumstances in life, they are prisoners of their own minds, they are truly unhappy. I’ve been put down a lot in the past for being different and challenging the norms.

Choosing whether a person should stand up to hatred comes down to what you can or cannot live with.

I can’t live without writing. I can’t live without speaking my mind. I can’t live without being my true self.

On that day in court, my true story was heard, and I was free to parent my stepson, free to write, and free to be myself.

On that day in court, I made my own judgement.

I quit my daytime job and parted ways with the video games industry. I decided to become a full-time writer. Perhaps the time isn’t right for such a step as I have no savings, no backup plan.

But then again, there is never a right time. What matters is to always do what is right by myself. In order to find my purpose, I had to lose my freedom and learn how to stand up to myself.

I will always be grateful to my most avid reader.

Ta.

Thank you for reading.

“ All the characters, businesses, places, events and incidents in this book are either the product of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental”