To Open Your Mouth, Or Keep It Closed?

Finding a balance

I’ve put my foot in my mouth more times than I care to count in my life.

Many of us likely have.

You can probably recall more than a handful of times without much effort where, if given the opportunity, you would go back and tell your previous self to shut the hell up.

But on the flip side, there’s a saying:

“Closed mouths don’t eat.”

Usually meaning something along the lines of: “If you want something, you better ask for it”. Which, from experience, is very true.

We have to keep in mind that while from our perspective the spotlight always shines on us, everyone else is looking out from their own equally bright spotlight. So unless you make it clear how you feel or what you want, the other party may be too engulfed by their own “radiance” to take notice.

This isn’t to claim that everyone is self-centered or anything, it’s simply a matter of individual perspective, and if you want your perspective known, then you need to state it.

This all begs the question:

Should you open your mouth, or keep it closed?

The generic answer as you are aware, is “It depends”.

Sometimes you’re better off keeping it closed, and sometimes it would be best if you say something.

Like a yes or no question we get asked multiple times a day, I’ve gotten my fair share of wrong answers. But as I’ve become more aware of this conundrum, I’ve taken deliberate effort to inject mindfulness more intentionally into it in the hopes of uncovering an answer.

And surprise surprise: There’s no definite answer, at least not one I’ve discovered yet.

What I have discovered, albeit subjectively, is a trend.

And that trend is that in most cases it pays to keep your mouth closed (figuratively) until you either, A) Feel like you’ve listened enough to understand the other person’s perspective as much as you can (Which isn’t as often as we think), or B) It’s really important to you that your perspective is known (Check your ego here).

But even this is a generalization and it really is up to you in each circumstance to be mindful and decide what is best.

But if we want to come up with any sort of an answer besides “It depends”, I think a particular quote sums it up nicely:

“We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.”

What’s your opinion?

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