To My Niece, Don’t Let Kim Kardashian Gaslighting Harm You
Not because she thinks she works the hardest, it is true.
Time flies, and all my nephews and nieces are adults. One niece recently got married in Georgia because her wedding was postponed when my mom died and the ongoing restrictions of the pandemic.
Another niece had a baby during the pandemic while shuffling between being a wife and an executive in the company she works for and at the same time being a few thousand miles away from her mom, who lives in Florida.
Her child just turned one year old.
A few days ago, Kim Kardashian caused a firestorm, something we should expect since she has a new TV show to promote. So what else is new from a family who had done well to be at the front, center, and back of reality TV?
“I have the best advice for women in business,” “Get your f — — — ass up and work. It seems like nobody wants to work these days.” — Kardashian told Variety.
And right away, it didn’t sit well with me, not because I care for what Kim Kardashian says, but because I thought of all my nieces and wondered what if they begin to question their work ethics and start to believe the definition of success from Kim Kardashian.
Kim Kardashian’s Ultimate Gaslighting of Women is Dangerous
What is Gaslighting?
The phrase “to gaslight” refers to the act of undermining another person’s reality by denying facts, the environment around them, or their feelings. Targets of gaslighting are manipulated into turning against their cognition, their emotions, and who they fundamentally are as people.
It is a form of emotional abuse by anyone to manipulate others and force them into submission. Not all gaslighters are narcissists and sociopaths. However, we can all become gaslighters. It is a learned behavior.
While gaslighting has become more popular since Trump’s rise into the political spectrum. Trump won the presidency by gaslight.
The term comes from an old classic, ‘Gaslight,’ a movie with Ingrid Bergman and Charles Boyer in 1944.
In one pivotal scene, Gregory causes the gaslights in the house to flicker by turning them on in the house’s attic. Yet when Paula asks why the gaslights are flickering, he insists that it’s not really happening and that it’s all in her mind, causing her to doubt her self-perception. Hence the term “gaslighting” was born.
The backlash of Kim Kardashian’s advice is scorching.
A former assistant detailed what her life with the Kardashians was like that she had to recall how she could only afford to eat 99 cent meals.
I was an editor on the Kardashian apps in 2015 in LA, worked days nights & weekends, could only afford groceries from the 99 Cents Only Store, called out “sick” more than once bc I couldn’t put gas in my car to get to the office, & was reprimanded for freelancing on the side. — Jessica Defino, Beauty critic (NY Times, Vogue, Slate). Writer of The Unpublishable newsletter.
Another rebuke came from Celene Zavala, a former unpaid intern who is now the programming director at CNN+. She took to Twitter and threw shade at Kimberly Kardashian.
‘I worked my little college a** off for free for Kimberly,’
Zavala added — ‘So I better get some addendum in her saying “except Celene, she was amazing.”
The Kardashians were very fond of hiring’ unpaid interns.’
Kim Kardashian’s surrogates come to her defense.
Kim’s paid publicist doubled down on the controversy, Tracy Romulus tweeted:
Kim is right. It takes blood, sweat & tears to start & build a successful business — & in her case, businesses. It also takes building teams & empowering great, harding working people & being smart & humble enough to surround yourself w/people who are smarter & more talented.
So when the girls were asked, “What does it take and what advice would you give other women who aspire to build the next billion dollar company?” — Kim answered with what she knows — GET OFF YOUR F — ING ASS AND WORK. And it’s true. That’s what it takes.
Any entrepreneur will tell you that, & any successful woman in business will tell you that they’ve had to work so much smarter & harder than any man to disrupt whatever industry they are in.
She ended with why everything Kim Kardashian said had the gaslighting effect. Like many who agree with Kim, she has become manipulated to believe that what Kim noted is needed by every woman who wants to be as successful as Kim Kardashian.
‘As someone who immigrated to this country with nothing and grew up in poverty, who has held more than a dozen minimum wage paying jobs well into her twenties and lived paycheck to paycheck for more than half of her life — I was not offended by this comment because its what I had to do — and you shouldn’t be either,’ Tracy continued.’
In Conclusion
I tweeted Tracy,
please don’t perpetuate the lies, we know you are paid to do that but be a woman first before a publicist.
Are we making a mountain out of a molehill?
We all know this is where Kim Kardashian wants to be, at the center of the conversation, as she promotes her new reality TV show.
But even if some would say that we are falling for the trap, it is important to have this conversation about gaslighting.
Women around the world should not believe or question their sanity when it comes to the amount of effort they put into work, ergo, which is why they aren’t as successful as Kim Kardashian.
I’m doing this for my nieces and all the women worldwide. My niece, who I know, does her utmost best to juggle her roles as a wife, mother, and employee. I can only imagine that there are days and nights when she is tired and yet be at her best because that is what society asks for from women.
To my niece, I hope you also take time to take care of yourself, none of us can be 100% all the time, and for that to even happen, we need to put ourselves first.
And to Kim Kardashian, who unleashed the ultimate gaslighting of all women in America and around the world. Maybe, you believe in the lies that generations of men perpetrated against women, that you need to do more, that you need to long, and hunger for success to earn your validation in the eyes of men.
Stop, gaslighting women!
Let us bring back the sanity in our lives. Be kind. You are doing your best to stay alive. For now, that’s enough.
Sources: What Gaslighting Means and Why You Should Choose Yourself, Why Kim Kardashian Former Assistant Eats 99 Cent Meals, What is gaslighting? The 1944 film Gaslight is the best explainer. I’ve counseled hundreds of victims of gaslighting. Here’s how to spot if you’re being gaslighted.’ I worked my little college a** off for free for Kimberly’: Now Kim Kardashian gets called out by former UNPAID intern after billionaire’s controversial criticism of women’s work ethic
