To my children, I love you. Full Stop.

Summary

The author expresses an unconditional love for their children, emphasizing the absence of expectations and conditions typically associated with parental love.

Abstract

The article titled "To my children, I love you. Full Stop." challenges the conventional wisdom that parental love is inherently unconditional. The author argues that while parental love is indeed more tolerant, accepting, forgiving, and kind, it often comes with implicit conditions. They observe that many parents love their children based on the fulfillment of certain expectations, which may not align with the child's desires or happiness. The author asserts that true unconditional love means not projecting one's own fears, disappointments, or unfulfilled dreams onto their children. They commit to supporting their children's autonomy, offering protection, advice, and support only when asked, and respecting their children's right to live their own dreams and truths without any fear of compromising their love.

Opinions

Parental love is commonly believed to be unconditional, but the author suggests it is usually conditional, based on children meeting certain expectations.
The author believes that loving a child should not be contingent on their adherence to parental expectations or desires.
Expectations placed on children by parents, although often well-intentioned, may not align with what truly makes the child happy.
Expressions like "I love you...EVEN If YOU..." or "I love you...NO MATTER WHAT..." can inadvertently convey disappointment and suggest that love is given despite the child's actions or choices.
The author promises to respect their children's independence, providing support and guidance only when solicited, and not imposing their own journey or aspirations onto their children.
The author acknowledges the privilege of being a parent and emphasizes that their love is given freely, without

To my children, I love you. Full Stop.

They say parents love their children unconditionally, but I personally disagree. I am not saying that parents do not love their children, however I am saying it is most definitely for the most part a conditional kind of love. For sure it is more tolerant than other kinds of love, more accepting, more forgiving more kind, yet still, it is somewhat conditional.

Many parents love their children with certain expectations attached to their love. This is not intentional or in bad intent, yet some parents love their kids when they do what is expected of them. All under the notion and belief that this is what is best for the child and coming from a place of love. Not stopping to ask or check if this is how the child wants to receive this love, or if it is truly making the child happy. Of course, I am mainly here focused on children who are old enough in making decisions for themselves.

Some parents want their children to behave in a certain way, achieve in a certain way, or even follow in their footsteps. Some want their children to live their unfulfilled dreams and make them come true instead. If children do something out of the norm of parents’ expectations, then although the love is still there, however it is tarnished with disappointment and frustration.

Sometimes some parents might say “I love you …EVEN If YOU…” or “I love you…NO MATTER WHAT….” Which is basically saying, although you disappointed me, and you are not doing what I am expecting you to do to, I still love you. Making a child feel less adequate for receiving this love, or the parent coming off as doing a child a favor for loving them in his or her current state.

So, I want to tell my children that there are no conditions, expectations, wants, needs, desires, attached with my love for you. I will not project my fears, my disappointments, my failures, my journey on to you. I promise to be there for you when ever you need me or want me to, to protect you if you want and ask for my protection. Give you advice only if you ask for it and not push my opinions on you. Support you if you want or ask for my support.

I realize that I do not own you for giving birth to you, and that I am privileged for being your mother. You have a right to receive my love while being able to live your dreams the way you want, to be able to live your truth the way you want to, without having any fear that this will change how I feel towards you. I am blessed that you are part of my world, and I Love you. Full Stop. I want you to be happy. Full stop.