To Men Preaching Conventional Masculinity
We have to accept that it is not all good. And its faults lie in what we fight.
You still don’t get it. Do you?
Hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times. — G. Micheal Hopf
Quotes like the one above are mad toxic!!!
First of all, this quote sets up an implicit message that men are solely in charge of creating the experiences of the world.
If you don’t see at least one thing that is wrong with that, you have a massive problem.
I mean, let's base our discussion on the sole criterion of production of reproductive cells since it's universal to all cultures and relevant for this.
Based on that, there is an entire gender of people that you are totally disregarding in the formation of our worldly experiences with that quote.
But I will hopefully come back to this later on in the post. — Maybe not.
Let us talk about Misogyny first
You cannot talk about misogyny for a long enough time without getting into patriarchy.
At the roots of this disgustingly inhumane act is a deep-seated belief that men are superior to women and that they should behave as such.
Men made this shit.
It was our delusional beliefs of superiority that created misogyny.
Men believed that their worth came from being strong and able to provide for their families. A real man was thought of as such. Times have not changed.
This strength encompassed many things including keeping women subordinate. It still does.
The good and the bad were all merged together to form a true masculine identity.
If you think that something or someone is beneath you, how long do you think it will take for you to subconsciously or consciously develop hatred or contempt for them?
And if you keep peddling the beliefs that gave birth to that hatred and contempt, what makes you think you can stop the hate or contempt?
While we are exploring quotes, I will throw in one that I find very useful.
“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” — Albert Einstein.
Basic. I know. I promise to bring better Einstein quotes next time.
The rise of simps and incels
A boy grows up being told how to be a man.
He is told that a real man is a go-getter/provider and all that. It doesn’t mean that he will always be able to live up to those expectations. It's also a process.
But once those expectations aren’t met yet, two things can happen.
- Shame or fear takes over. The boy coils as he tries to find ways of meeting those expectations. When he treats relationships that way, a simp is born.
- Anger or rage takes over. He blames others for why he won’t meet his expectations. When he treats relationships that way, an incel is born.
We want to blame porn for the rise in simps and incels. As much as there is a place for that, simps and incels are not the only ones crowding the hub.
Actually, all factors are common between men, “real men”, simps and incels. The only variable is the way we fulfill or try to fulfill our expectations.
People are blind to how misogynistic conventional masculinity is.
Stoicism, dominance, aggression, competitiveness. You are a man if you have those.
Therefore, cry not, coil not, consider not, compromise not. You are a man. Men get what they want.
Show me a man who wants to get what he wants, but lacks dominance and aggression. There I will show you a simp.
Show me a man who wants to get what he wants, but lacks competitiveness. There I will show you an incel.
These are problems coming from the expectations we place on ourselves but haven’t met yet.
A simp or incel will watch porn because he feels the need to meet a sexual desire from women that he thinks he can’t get.
A real man will watch porn because he feels the need to meet a sexual desire he can’t get from his spouse.
Do you know why most simps and incels are between the ages of 16 – 30?
No, we are not the horniest.
These are the ages where the expectations are not yet met for most men.
Most broke people are in this age range. Most are expected to get into serious relationships within this age range. You get it.
Above 30, most people aren’t as broke as they were in their 20s so they can be more confident in themselves and so on.
The expectations that are placed on men shouldn’t be ignored as being significantly responsible for why there are so many male simps and incels.
The problem with manliness
One person once said,
…worst of all, society ridicules conventional masculinity and encourages men to act, talk, and become women.
I wonder which society this is. The lockdowns are lifted. I would like to visit.
Embracing your femininity and being able to deploy it in dealing with some life circumstances does not make you a woman.
How do you expect to treat women with respect when you don’t respect your very own feminine virtues?
Empathy is the ability to understand and share a feeling with another person.
You cannot share what you don’t have. You cannot understand what you fight and hate.
Love, affection, empathy, tenderness, sweetness, rest, creativity, and so on. These are feminine virtues.
If you fight these virtues, how do you expect to have healthy relationships with people? — men and women.
If you want to deploy the male virtue of aggression in dealing with affection, you will be a man’s man. But you will also be a rapist. Is that what you want?
There is a place for masculine virtues just as much as there is a place for feminine virtues.
When I am talking about masculine and feminine here, I am not talking about your physical concepts of the idea alone.
I am talking about the frameworks of our existence at the three levels of mind, body, and spirit.
A good friend of mine writes amazing poems sometimes. I am going to tap into her divinely creative feminity to try my hand at making my own.
Here it is.
You think yourself a man, so you fight the virtues of femininity.
In the same breath, you wail and groan, seemingly saddened by the injustices other men are doing to innocent people just because those people are women.
Lie not. You feel nothing. You feel nothing because the seats of those emotions are gated and you fight yourself to never access them. They are feminine.
Pretend if you must. But cover yourself. Your hypocrisy bums are showing.
Keep them closed, your testosterone will not increase by exposing yourself to the elements of ignorance.
Ok, I am done. Am I less of a man?