To Hell With Book Clubs and Bingo, I Want to Play In A Rock Band

Ever since I was in my twenties I have wanted to play in a rock band, but I’ve never made it very far with this dream. For many years I was too busy with school, work, and raising a son, mostly by myself.

Now that I am a sixty-two-year-old retiree, I have plenty of time. Where are the other women who want to join me? Unfortunately, I think I must be the only one. At least of the people that I know.

A couple of years ago, I bought an electric guitar and amplifier. I practiced and tried to play on the open stage a few times, but it was very discouraging. Most of the other participants were men and I felt left out. Some of them were kind and helpful, but I still heard them talking about getting together to play, but I was never invited. Some people did encourage me to start my own group, but I didn’t really have the confidence or motivation to do that. I got so discouraged that I stopped practicing the guitar or playing on the open stage. I still have the guitar and amplifier, so I might try it again eventually.

A few months later, I got a rock drum kit and started taking lessons. I have asked a few local musicians to get together to play music, but they have all turned me down.

I think I know why women get discouraged when they try to play rock music or be in a band. I have asked a few women who are not currently performing if they wanted to try, and they said that they can’t play or can’t sing. I think at some point, most of us have gotten discouraged and given up.

To be a woman musician, especially playing rock music, you have to have a lot of self-confidence and be willing to go against the grain. Most performing musicians are men, and many of them are not very encouraging.

I decided to do a bit of research on this. Why aren’t there more rock bands with women? I found a female rock musician on Quora who addressed this issue. First of all, according to her, females are stereotyped as not being good at rock music. Secondly, females have few role models to follow. It might be difficult to find one that you can really relate to. Another problem is that females if given a chance, are often assigned to play the bass because it is considered the most “easy” instrument.

I have been a rock music fan for as long as I can remember. My parents got me my first Beatles album when I was in elementary school. Back then, we only had a few records, so we played the same ones over and over again. To this day, I can still sing almost every song on that album. Some other records we had in elementary and junior high school were John Denver’s greatest hits, Jim Croce’s greatest hits, Carol King’s Tapestry album, Elton John’s Yellow Brick Road, Simon and Garfunkel’s Bridge Over Troubled Water, and Bread’s greatest hits. In high school, one of my favorite groups was the Eagles, who I saw with Dan Fogelberg in Columbus, Ohio.

In college, during my undergraduate days, I was a big fan of Lynyrd Skynard, The Rolling Stones, Queen, Pat Benatar, AC/DC, and Meatloaf. I even went to see the female rock group Heart in concert. During graduate school, I listened to Prince, Michael Jackson, B-52s, Go Gos, Bangles, and John Mellencamp. I saw Mellencamp in 1986 with my friends from graduate school. My favorite song was “The Authority Song” and my favorite lyric was “I fight authority, authority always wins.” It’s still my motto more than thirty-six years later.

The decade of music that I know the least is the 1990s because I was really busy with my job and raising a son. I have recently listened more to some of the groups from this era, such as Nirvana and Green Day.

I still love all of these artists and listen occasionally to all of the songs I used to know. It’s actually a little like visiting an old friend. Listening to the songs from my past often reminds me of what I was doing back then.

A few years ago I retired from my college professor job in the United States and moved to San Miguel de Allende, Mexico. The classic rock songs of my youth are not that popular here, although there are a few local musicians that play rock music. I sometimes attend a karaoke group, where a good number of retired Americans sing classic rock music. Many of the people in this group are women.

When I was growing up I took piano lessons for many years. I also played the clarinet in the school band and the viola in the orchestra. These were popular and common activities for young women when I was growing up. I’ve always had a good singing voice and almost always sing on key. Still, my attempts to break into rock music have never gotten very far.

Unfortunately, women in rock music are still considered to be a novelty. It probably doesn’t hurt to be young and good-looking. On the other hand, young and good-looking girls are more likely to be asked out than to play in a male-dominated band.

Is there much of a demand to see old ladies playing rock music? I don’t think so.

I want to do it anyway.