To Give or Not to Give — That is Not the Question

A short story looking inside the mind of a man contemplating charity — and his underlying motive.

“Sir, can you spare some change? I need some help to buy food.”

Damn, I don’t like giving money to the homeless. Normally, I would ignore this guy and mind my own business. But I am with a girl now. Sheila and I are about to enter this restaurant. She might judge me if don’t pay.

What should I give? 1 dollar? That should be ok. Or maybe 2 dollars? Then she might even be impressed with my magnanimity.

“Take this.”

Good, that makes me seem like a great person.

“Hey, listen,” Sheila calls me.

Wow, this seems to have worked already. Is she going to praise me now? She is advancing her hand. Let me take her hand.

Wait, what did she just give me! It’s a paper. No, it’s money. It’s a 50 dollar note!

She is giving the beggar 50 dollars! Damn, that makes me look like a cheapskate.

“Hey, man — take this, too.”

The beggar looks shocked, and maybe happy? I don’t know. And Sheila looks… shocked?

“You dropped that 50 from your wallet when you were paying that guy. And you gave all of that to him. That’s a lot.”

Huh?

Did I pay 52 dollars to a homeless person?

And she is now judging me on why I paid so much?

Did I just lose 52 dollars?

I was planning to pay by cash tonight and didn’t bring my card.

Is she going to judge me if we go to a cheaper restaurant now?

Or Is she going to judge me if I ask her to pay?

Damn.

My other fictions: We met on the Train