To Feel Better About Yourself, Reverse Your Gratitude Practice

I saw a stranger completely change the way she looked at me.

I was in Trader Joe’s, and I noticed that the checkout person was unusually adept at bagging. She packed my eggs and raspberries safely, organized the bags, so they each weighed about the same, and did it at a high rate of speed. It was a wonder to behold.

What I did next connected us for a moment and made her day. I said out loud what I was thinking about the job she did.

In an 8 hour day, how many people put their phone down long enough even to look her in the eye?

You go through your day questioning yourself and worrying about whether you’re making good decisions and coming off well. Yet, you think that everyone else is walking around feeling fine about themselves.

Wrong. Most people are like you. They doubt themselves much of the time. Letting someone know when they have done well, will change how they feel. It will also create a positive feeling toward you.

People want to be acknowledged. Actually, it’s worse than that. People are starving for acknowledgment. You can feed this basic human need by doing something very simple.

When someone makes a difference to you, no matter how small, say it out loud.

The wisdom about being happier is to start a gratitude practice. It works. But, if you want other people to feel happier, show your gratitude toward them. Thank someone for making you happy, even in the slightest way.

This is a practice that will make you more likable

If you enjoy the food that someone cooked for you, say it. If you see a neighbor who is looking well, say it. When your spouse does something nice, acknowledge it. Every time. When a friend calls unexpectedly, and it cheers you up, tell her.

It’s important to do this at work. Too many meetings are used as a stage to show off. They are an opportunity to put other peoples’ ideas down. Don’t keep quiet when you hear a good idea, even when it’s from the person who ignores yours. It could change the relationship. Genuine appreciation for someone is a gift.

Think about things that you appreciate and acknowledge them. Out loud. With words. People will love you for it.

And now for the truth. It’s really not about making people like you

If you’re in it for the benefit of making people like you, don’t. This is not a tactic for manipulation. Making other people feel better is a pleasure in itself. It’s a huge gift you can give that costs nothing.

People will feel better about you when you acknowledge them, but that’s just the side benefit. The real benefit is how much better you will feel about yourself.

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