To Enjoy Writing Again, Stop Criticizing Yourself

Tips for writers who feel blue, don’t get the respect they expect, and have started to question their passion.

Has writing lost some of it’s charm and appeal for you? Do you enjoy it less because you’re fed up with the rapid gut punches?

No doubt, you’ve written great articles. You gave the time and effort needed to polish them to perfection. You poured more heart and soul into your articles than Aretha Franklin, the Queen of Soul, did when she belted out the urgent need for R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

Also, you followed the online writing rules that everybody post about — attention-grabbing headline, irresistible hook, engaging content, end with a bang, yada, yada.

Then, with excitement and anticipation, you place your article in front of the proper audience, editors, or publishers. You wait for acceptance, applause, and accolades. And you wait. And wait…

After nothing but make-you-wanna-puke silence or slap-you-in-the-face rejection, you start to question your writing skills. Your passion dwindles. You criticize yourself for trying. And you vow to get off the nauseating hamster wheel of frustration.

Before you make that decision, let me ask you this:

What if there’s another way to look at what’s happening — a way that will make you feel much better?

A different approach to decrease disappointments

Here’s the deal. Writers seldom know when their work is good. I have the utmost respect for writers. But the evidence is clear; writers are usually poor judges of their work.

They get worked up when what they thought would do well flops like it needs a little blue pill. And the one they were certain would flop, stands strong and works hard.

You shouldn’t feel bad. All writers experience remorse. It’s normal. Especially when you’re trying to figure out how to do it. So do yourself a favor and stop harshly judging yourself.

Rather than focusing on the flops, write something else. If that one flops, write something else.

Unless you’re writing solely to please yourself, the people you produce content for are better judges. Increasing the quantity helps you get a better idea of what satisfies them. Quantity — that’s the little blue pill (the enhancement) your writing needs to get the respect you seek.

If you busy yourself feeling bad because your last article didn’t perform the way you expected it too, you increase the chances of experiencing the same disappointment next time.

Increase your quantity and you’ll improve your quality

In the book, Art and Fear, authors David Bayles and Ted Orland tell the story of an experiment a ceramics teacher did with his students. I believe you’ll get the same results from most creative work, including writing.

Here’s a short exert from the book:

“The ceramics teacher announced on opening day that he was dividing the class into two groups. All those on the left side of the studio, he said, would be graded solely on the quantity of work they produced, all those on the right side solely on its quality. His procedure was simple: on the final day of class he would bring in his bathroom scales and weigh the work of the ‘quantity’ group: fifty pounds of pots rated and ‘A’, forty pounds a ‘B’, and so on. Those being graded on ‘quality’, however, needed to produce only one pot — albeit a perfect one to get an ‘A’. Well, came grading time and a curious fact emerged. The works of the highest quality were all produced by the group being graded for quantity.”

The authors conclude,

“It seems that while the ‘quantity’ group was busily churning out piles of work and learning from their mistakes — the ‘quality’ group sat theorizing about perfection, and in the end had little more to show for their efforts than grandiose theories and a pile of clay.”

Did the results of the experiment make you say, “Wait. What?”

The students in the quantity group produced the highest quality work. It seems they didn’t have time to criticize themselves, feel blue, or question their passion. While producing as much as they could, they learned from their mistakes. The quality of their work improved. In the end, they created what their judge (the teacher) wanted.

The quality group…bless their hearts…so focused on perfection, they mostly produced theories.

I can imagine their theories, “I’m sorry. The anticipation got the best of me,” or “I don’t know what happened. I guess I had too much to drink.”

I used to fuss with the same article for weeks, maybe months. That’s because I thought I needed to make every article a masterpiece. Sweating over every word and trying to perfect every sentence exhausted me. Then, when I finished and only a handful of people read my article, I came up with flop theories.

Since then, I’ve learned learned that the attempt to create perfection paralyzes creativity. It strangles performance and production. Striving for perfection is an invitation to frustration.

“You make good work by (among other things) making lots of work that isn’t very good…” -David Bayles and Ted Orland (from the book, Art and Fear)

Tips you shouldn’t overlook if you want more satisfaction

Even if your articles, books, or stories have yet to get the respect you expected, you learned something from each one. And if you learned from them, they were not flops.

Why criticize yourself for writing what helped you? So what if fewer people than you expected benefited from your creation. You got value from it. Therefore, it didn’t flop. Apply the lessons learned to your next article, book, or story.

Criticizing yourself zaps your energy.

Judging yourself is draining. It’s also a door to procrastination and to never finishing the work you start. Relax and keep producing, instead of erecting mental barriers.

Good writers write a lot or they wrote a lot before becoming good writers.

Stay mindful that quality writing doesn’t mean error-free writing.

When readers connect to the content, they overlook a few typos and grammatical errors. Besides, if your interesting articles flow, engage, and stay on point, minor writing errors seldom diminish quality — as far as the everyday reader is concerned.

Multiple typos, repeating paragraphs, and incoherent thoughts aren’t easily excused.

That’s careless writing. You don’t have to bash yourself for it, though. Instead, write more and always use online editors such as Grammarly, the Hemmingway app, and a text-to-speech app like Natural Readers. (All have free versions). Plus, before submitting your manuscript to anyone, read it aloud to yourself.

Authenticity makes the difference.

Try writing like you’re talking to a friend over tea. (Stephen King suggests that in his book, On Writing: A Memoir Of The Craft). Doing so makes you feel free and comfortable. You’ll get into a flow if you’re as authentic when you write as you are when you talk to your friends. Authenticity. Now, that’s a word to ponder. It’s often the difference between what the writer thinks is great and what the reader connects to.

Much of what you write is for your eyes only.

To increase your quantity, you may have to write 1000 not-so-perfect words every day. But that doesn’t mean making everything you write public. Practice in private most of the time.

Generate the fun and respect you desire

Avoid criticizing yourself and your writing. Harshly judging yourself places you in a negative state of mind, which filters into your work.

Remember, if you are the only person to get anything out of your writing, it is not a flop.

However, when you increase your quantity, your writing skills increase. You get a better idea of what your readers like. When they appreciate your work, it supercharges you. You feel good about yourself. You also get R-E-S-P-E-C-T from more readers. And you have fun when you write!