To Build Your Writing Business, Don’t Listen to Advice That Makes You Anxious

Feel inspired

Only a year ago, I was working for a start-up out of a WeWork office in downtown Los Angeles. Out of the blue, my father calls and tells me that he has been diagnosed with Parkinson’s. Realizing right then and there, in my car on my way home from work, I hated my job and life was too short to waste it pretending things were going to get better on their own.

That was on a Friday. The very next Monday, I quit. Everyone freaked out and told me not to. Making the optics worse, for the next year, I puttered around Venice Beach mounting TVs to people’s walls and patching holes as a handyman, biding my time, writing and performing comedy at night, and considering my next move for what I needed: financial freedom. Somehow I knew that something was coming and I just had to be patient.

When the pandemic hit, it was as if the universe said, “It’s time.” I quit being a handyman and began working on my business.

A year later, my business is featured in Voyage LA and I have 3 streams of reliable income that pay for me to continue to live in LA, all from writing. I did it all without listening to any advice that made my break out in cold sweats.

Here’s how you can do exactly the same.

Match your business model to your personality

A writing partner you can hire, or a writing coach. Not just ghostwriting, a spiritual partnership. When it struck me, I just knew it was exactly the right answer. I didn’t care what anyone said. Seems like just ghostwriting? That’s fine, it’s not for you!

The clients I find love it. I have built a very popular mental health podcast with a therapist in Utah, and written bedtime stories for a popular fitness app. It combines all the things I love: connecting with people, talking about dreams and ideas, helping traditionally non-creative people become more creative, and translating their ideas into something that connects with an audience.

The growth plan is like this: My personal work and my for-pay work each grows in scope, reach, and interest until they are the same. Eventually, the business and I become the same. Writer and writing business merge over time.

Simplicity

When the right idea strikes, it’s amazing how simple it is. It’s as if I have always had this idea, I just hadn’t put it down in so many words. That’s the power of following intuition and interests.

For so long in my life, I was trying to force everything, making everything more complicated than it needed to be, and putting a vibe of desperation on everything I produced. When you need other people to validate your ideas, the slightest wind will blow them away. When your ideas are rooted in the core of who you are, it doesn’t matter what other people think as much. You can hold out for the right people.

Say ‘no’

Having that strong foundation is key for one of the most important words in forming a new business: No.

I say no to 95% of potential clients. If they want to haggle price: that’s a no. If they are rude in any way: that’s a no. If I’m not inspired by them or the message they want to share with the world: it’s a no. When people tell you who they are, listen. Especially when you will be taking their money. If you need to put some math to it, think of it as the 80/20 rule. Filter out 80% before they even start working with you, and just focus on the 20%.

By doing this, you save your energy. There are so many vampires out there who would love to just take everything they can get from you. If you don’t get discouraged, know your vision, and hold out, you eventually find the people who want to mutually build something bigger than either of you could do on your own. I am so inspired by my clients and what they want to build to contribute and help other people. You don’t need any more motivation than that.

Giving everything to your yeses

Because you have held out for the right people, once they come along, they get the absolute best of you. Go above and beyond out of the pure gratitude of working with them, and they go above and beyond in turn for you.

They write good reviews, market for free, and do word of mouth. The power of one thrilled client is worth 40 so-so clients. Especially in the beginning, don’t worry about the numbers even for one moment. Just focus on relationships. Without looking, the numbers came on their own.

Trust your gut

Intuition is such an undervalued asset in the modern world because it can’t be directly measured and tracked. Numbers are great, but they can trap you in their own limitations. If you focus more on intuition, you leave the door open for things you can’t even imagine.

For example, I would have never planned to build a popular mental health podcast. But because I was open and had a good gut feeling about the client, we made it happen.

A good business model will allow for things you can’t plan. People will tell you you need numbers, or that you can’t turn paying clients away. Don’t listen. Building a business that goes beyond what other people can imagine is your whole job. If they could do it, they would. I thank them for their advice and kindly ignore it.

Completely ignore advice that makes you anxious

Rule of thumb: follow all inspiration, ignore all anxiety.

Here are some pieces of advice I don’t give a fuck about:

• I need to be on social media
• I need to be “informed”
• I need to network
• Don’t call yourself a ghostwriter; they don’t make much
• Comedy is a waste of time
• You need to spend more time editing
• Work on your pitch deck
• You need an agent

As I’m listing these, I realize that I could go on and on. The thing that all of these have in common is that they make me feel anxious. None of them inspire me.

When something makes me feel anxious, it saps my energy and makes me less effective. If I pursue it, I would do it with resentment and contempt. What’s the point?

You know, people give advice because they want to help. And maybe it worked for them in their situation. God bless them. And maybe you will feel inspired by it in the future. But if it only makes you feel anxious, you can safely ignore it, no guilt needed.

If any advice in this article makes you anxious, forget it. If it inspires you, try it!

Treat clients like family

Great clients are worth 10x what good clients are worth. Never miss an opportunity to deepen a relationship with a good client. Jump at the chance to do them a favor if they ask.

When clients are like family, your business is taken care of, no matter what, and no matter how few clients you have. Do not go seeking more and more before you are ready. Make the first one count. Make them feel special for taking a chance on you.

My very first client did more for me than all the rest of my clients put together. He did it all because I invested in him and made it worth his while.

Now more than ever, make connections a priority.

Never do anything you hate

This is a good rule for life, really. People do things they hate because they are afraid. When they do things they don’t like because they are afraid, they devalue themselves in their own mind. If you want to have a thriving writing business, don’t write shit that makes you feel worthless, ever. No matter how much it pays. It’s not worth it to devalue yourself and what you do.

Life is too damn short for me to write “SEO” articles about some terrible auto-dialing software. I won’t do it.

Try not to lie, ever

You can’t set out on your own to do something unique if you have a habit of lying to other people, or worse, to yourself. In fact, you probably can’t even figure out who you are and what sort of life you really want to live if you have a habit of lying to yourself.

Before trying to get rich or “financially secure” or to buy a Lexus or whatever, find out what you are really like. Stop lying for long enough for your true self to come to the surface. Warning: this may lose you friends or get you fired or end a relationship. It will all be worth it.

Have hobbies

People work too hard at one thing and are terrified of trying other things for fear of “wasting their time.” You know what really successful people have in common? Hobbies. Winston Churchill was doing oil paintings while London was being bombed.

Hobbies that have no obvious monetary value are even better. Remind yourself why you’re alive in the first place. To keep playing. I do improv at the Groundlings Theatre. Funny thing about hobbies where there is no chance of making money: you meet a lot of very successful people.

That was where I met someone who got my writing business featured in an LA magazine for free. You can’t go out looking for opportunities like that.

Invest most of your income in your well-being

Before I buy myself some new status symbol, I am going to buy experiences that improve my well-being and expand my horizons. Travel, meditation retreats, experiences. I think of that as money re-invested in my business. I am the business, after all.

People will make you feel like shiny new things are going to make you happy. They are wrong. It’s not that you have to deny yourself these things, just take stock of what really makes a difference in life. If I reach my goals by January, I am going to get myself a Lexus. I accept that it won’t make me happy.

Figure out what you want, specifically, and ask

You can’t have anything you didn’t ask for, much less if you can’t even formulate the request.

I took some time to figure out what I was about and what sort of life I wanted to live. I didn’t mind that I worked as a handyman while I figured it out. I knew that bigger things would come if I got to the core of who I really was.

All the things out there: the money, the stuff, the status; it may seem like it is “out there” but it really is just a reflection of your values and habits. If the things out there aren’t lined up with the things inside, it means that it’s time to reflect, not try even harder to change the external world.

Change the internal world, the external world will bend itself to match.

Take it home

I finally built my own successful business when I was inspired enough to stop listening to everyone’s advice. I let my vision get brighter than any short-term fear.

Before setting out to do anything take the time to make sure your ship is sound. Learn about who you are, take some time off, meditate, and figure out what you like to do. Once you start doing it, people won’t be able to resist you.

Thanks for reading!

Here’s a little takeaway exercise before you go: write down the exact lifestyle you want to live. All the things you want, the people you want to be around, what work you want to do, and the income you want. Assign all of that a symbol that means something to you. Burn that image into your mind. Remind yourself of that image any time you feel discouraged enough to make a fearful choice.