To Build Charisma and Become a Human Magnet, Avoid Thinking I Wish I Were.

Indulging in regrets magnifies it

Human regret is a big business.

I see plenty of this online. Many I Wish I Were articles are written from an angle of self-improvement. But no, they are not.

They are peppered with regrets.

I use a ton of these headlines in my articles too.

But we cannot adopt this mindset in real life and networking events.

Here’s why.

It Prevents You from Being Present

To be present is to be in the moment.

You know you are when,

• You give the person in front of you full attention.
• You are following his, her, or their talking points.
• You are genuinely interested in what they say.
• You ask thought-provoking questions.
• You want their response.

And you are enjoying yourself because you are engaged. The other party, or parties, feels great too. They know you are listening to them.

Your mind isn’t elsewhere.

You are busy building relationships, one conversation at a time.

Imagine that you got distracted.

Your inner voice tells you that…

• Their conversation topic is boring,
• The group behind is having a better time,
• You ought to be collecting as many name cards or contacts as possible,

… you don’t need me to tell you that you find the networking event a chore. You want to dig a hole and escape as soon as you can.

And I guarantee this.

People you speak to that evening will not remember you.

Why? Because you did not give them a reason to.

Charisma Follows Presence

The charismatic being is always present.

It applies to their minds and bodies.

Try to recall people you find charismatic. Recall their body language.

You will notice that,

• Their eyes meet yours,
• Their minds connect with yours,
• They engage in your conversation thread, not finding ways to bring you into theirs,
• They make you look smart, not silly,
• Their toes point in your direction.

Your body, mind, and soul will want you to stay with this person throughout the evening.

That is charisma.

And that builds a crowd behind you wherever you go.

The Best Place to Be is Where You Are

Anchor this thought in your head.

Here’s why.

Networking, or hanging around people, is about experience. And our life experience exhibits one nasty behavior.

We must be around to experience it.

• How do you know you heard a great story? Because you heard it.
• Your peer is over the moon because he closed a 7-digit deal. How do you know? He told you.
• Your boss slapped your back after telling you he got promoted. You know… because he slapped your back.

You see… these experiences define our presence. It’s how people express their appreciation for us by being there for them.

You want to be there.

You do not want to be anywhere else.

I repeat. You do not.

Do Whatever You Want, Wherever You Are.

We make this mistake all the time.

We teeter on the line when we should be going all-in.

Does this sound familiar?

• You signed up for a networking event.
• You intend to make 100 new contacts.
• You arrive at the event site early.
• You feel pumped and ready.
• You enter the ballroom.

And then, it spirals downwards from there.

• You walk up and down.
• You wonder who to approach.
• You have doubts that the person in front of you wants to talk to you.
• You start thinking if this or that person will become a potential client.
• You make initial eye contact but never mustered the courage to step forward.

If this happens to be you — I understand. I was, too.

With time, I learned to overcome.

I tell myself, first and foremost, to relax and enjoy the event. I cannot make new contacts if I constantly fret over who to approach.

Doesn’t work. Never will.

That is the first. Ready for the second?

(Drum roll)

I speak to everyone. Like, everyone.

I speak to,

• The boys checking tickets in the foyer,
• The ladies behind the information counter,
• The waiting staff who pass me a glass of wine,
• The audio-video team preparing for an evening filled with heavyweight speakers,
• Every human walking toward me.

I am there to network. And so, I network.

And when I do so, good things come my way.

• People introduce me to who’s who in the industry.
• People get intrigued when waiting staff know me by my name and want to know me better.

Be in the moment.

You become a human magnet. People gravitate toward you.

You will achieve what you want.

Parting Keynotes

Charisma requires presence.

It requires a light-hearted approach toward life, too. In fact, learn to lighten up. You feel better. You perform better.

And.

Avoid thinking I Wish I Were somewhere doing something else.

No, nO, NO, no, no.

No one wants to be around a grouch. There are no reasons to.

So, be in the moment.

Take a deep breath. Stay positive. Relax. Smile. And tell yourself that you are here to have a nice time.

Once you think that way, you will.

Because the Charisma Gods will start blessing you.

About the Author:

As a content contributor, I write my daily life observations and business exposure. Our life experience is the bedrock of our unique perspectives.

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