To Become Super-Likable, Read These Psychology Books

They’ll make it 10x easier to build long-lasting relationships

“Escape your comfort zone. Go to networking events. Adjust your personality to be more socially attractive.”

Conventional advice is BS.

I grew up a shy introvert with less confidence than Donald Trump in a New York courtroom. I vividly remember looking in the mirror, feeling sorry for myself, and questioning my self-worth because it was difficult to make new friends.

But everything changed when I started reading non-fiction books. They encouraged me to become more confident, meet people with similar interests, and build stronger relationships. So, without further ado, here are five psychology books you should read to become super-likable.

Let’s dive right in!

How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie

Page Count: 288 Rating on Goodreads: 4.22

How To Win Friends And Influence People is one of the most influential non-fiction books in the world.

“Since its release in 1936, How to Win Friends and Influence People has sold more than 30 million copies,” per Goodreads. “Dale Carnegie’s first book is a timeless bestseller, packed with rock-solid advice that has carried thousands of now famous people up the ladder of success in their business and personal lives.”

Warren Buffett is a big fan of How To Win Friends And Influence People. “In my office,” he said, “you will not see the degree I have from the University of Nebraska. “But you’ll see the certificate I got from Dale Carnegie.” The book has also been recommended by Alex Hormozi, Dave Ramsey, and countless others.

That’s seriously impressive!

Here are some of my favorite quotes from the book:

“Don’t be afraid of enemies who attack you. Be afraid of the friends who flatter you.”
“Any fool can criticize, complain, and condemn — and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.”
“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”
“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures bristling with prejudice and motivated by pride and vanity.”
“Everybody in the world is seeking happiness — and there is one sure way to find it. That is by controlling your thoughts. Happiness doesn’t depend on outward conditions. It depends on inner conditions.”

Talking To Strangers by Malcolm Gladwell

Page Count: 388 Rating on Goodreads: 4.02

I’ve read Talking To Strangers several times. It taught me how to use psychology as a secret weapon to understand different points of view and make friends across the political spectrum.

Malcolm Gladwell explores how little we know about the people we don’t know. He explains, for example, how we frequently misinterpret strangers, get into pointless arguments, and struggle to see situations from different perspectives. Then, Malcolm offers a powerful framework for being more patient, tolerant, and empathetic to opposing viewpoints.

It’s a fascinating book!

Here are some of my favorite quotes from the book:

“The right way to talk to strangers is with caution and humility.”
“We start by believing. And we stop believing only when our doubts and misgivings rise to the point where we can no longer explain them away.”
“Transparency is the idea that people’s behavior and demeanor — the way they represent themselves on the outside — provides an authentic and reliable window into the way they feel on the inside.”
“To assume the best about another is the trait that has created modern society. Those occasions when our trusting nature gets violated are tragic. But the alternative — to abandon trust as a defense against predation and deception — is worse.”
“We think we can easily see into the hearts of others based on the flimsiest of clues. We jump at the chance to judge strangers. We would never do that to ourselves, of course. We are nuanced and complex and enigmatic. But the stranger is easy. If I can convince you of one thing in this book, let it be this: Strangers are not easy.”

The Art Of Happiness by The Dalai Lama

Page Count: 322 Rating on Goodreads: 4.17

The Art Of Happiness blew my mind. It made me think about the world in a different way & upgraded my relationships to be 10x better than I ever thought possible.

In the book, The Dalai Lama explains how to live a happier life. He also discusses the importance of being warm, kind, and compassionate with everyone you meet. Because when you treat others how you’d like to be treated, it’s easier to make friends with anyone.

Read this book as soon as possible!

Here are some of my favorite quotes from the book:

“Happiness is determined more by one’s state of mind than by external events.”
“A disciplined mind leads to happiness, and an undisciplined mind leads to suffering.”
“Although you may not always be able to avoid difficult situations,you can modify the extent to which you can suffer by how you choose to respond to the situation.”
“Let us reflect what is truly of value in life, what gives meaning to our lives, and set our priorities on the basis of that. The purpose of our life needs to be positive. We weren’t born with the purpose of causing trouble, harming others. For our life to be of value, I think we must develop basic good human qualities — warmth, kindness, compassion. Then our life becomes meaningful and more peaceful — happier.”
“Our day-to-day existence is very much alive with hope, although there is no guarantee of our future. There is no guarantee that tomorrow at this time we will be here. But we are working for that purely on the basis of hope. So, we need to make the best use of our time. I believe that the proper utilization of time is this: if you can, serve other people, other sentient beings. If not, at least refrain from harming them.”

Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before by Julie Smith

Page Count: 368 Rating on Goodreads: 3.96

Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before is one of the best books about mental health in the world.

Dr. Julie Smith draws on her experience as a clinical psychologist to provide “a mental health toolkit” that will help you navigate life’s challenges. After all, it helped me to become more confident, make anxiety disappear, and deal with stress in a healthier manner.

One of my favorite chapters in Julie’s book talks about criticism from other people. Julie says negative people tend to be highly critical of themselves. They often act in such a negative way because it’s what they naturally do, and not necessarily a reflection of who you are.

Whenever someone is rude or judgmental, I try to remember they might be having a bad day. Alternatively, they could have different values, personalities, and life experiences. Since I began following that strategy, it has become much easier to stay calm, brush off negative comments, and be more empathetic.

Is that a coincidence? Maybe. But probably not.

Here are some of my favorite quotes from the book:

“We have to focus on making good decisions, not perfect decisions. A good decision is one that moves you in the direction you want to go.”
“Thoughts are not facts. They are a mix of opinions, judgements, stories, memories, theories, interpretations, and predictions about the future.”
“The more work we do on building self-awareness and resilience when all is well, the better able we are to face life’s challenges when they come our way.”
“You might notice that you feel the need for more reassurance from others when your mood is low. If you don’t get that extra reassurance you might automatically assume that they are thinking negatively about you. But that is a bias, and it is quite possible that you are your worst critic.”
“Getting better at relationships does not mean learning how to get the other person to do or be what you want them to be. In couples therapy, you can work on your relationship together. But you can also work on your relationships by understanding your own individual needs and patterns and the cycles you tend to get stuck in.”

Together: The Healing Power Of Human Connection In A Sometimes Lonely World by Vivek Murthy

Page Count: 352 Rating on Goodreads: 4.25

Vivek Murthy was the US Surgeon General from 2014 to 2017. After being kicked out of office by Donald Trump, he wrote a bestselling book about the loneliness epidemic in America.

In the book, Vivek explains the psychology behind loneliness and how it can impact our mental health. For example, it has an impact on our life spans equivalent to smoking 15 cigarettes a day. Loneliness also poses a bigger threat to health than obesity & excessive binge drinking.

Vivek also provides step-by-step formulas to make new friends and improve your social life. So, if you want to become super-likable, add this book to your reading list ASAP!

Here are some of my favorite quotes from the book:

“This is the reality of being human, that we have the capacity to love people — family, friends, and strangers — even if we profoundly disagree with them.”
“Solitude allows us to get comfortable being with ourselves, which makes it easier to be ourselves in interactions with others. That authenticity helps build strong connections.”
“Being connected to others gives us a stake in more than our own interests. It expands those interests to include our whole community and thus increases our motivation to work together.”
“The most meaningful connections may last for a few moments, or for a lifetime, but each will be a reminder that we were meant to be a part of one another’s lives, to lift one another up, to reach heights together, greater than any of us could reach on our own.”
“Think about the friends and family who have been there for you throughout your life, in moments of joy, and also in the depths of disappointment, the people who have listened to you when you were sad, the people who believed in you, even when you lost faith in yourself, the people who have held you up, lifted you, and seeing you for who you really are. Feel their warmth and their kindness washing over you, filling you with happiness. Now, open your eyes.”

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