To Be a Good Leader, Set Boundaries.

We need role models who keep a healthy work-life balance.

While listening to the “Michelle Obama podcast” a few days ago, I learned a lesson that transformed how I view leadership.

This podcast’s topic, mentorship for working-women, instantly sparked my interest. As a woman scrambling to grow in my career, I understand the importance of mentors and role models.

The former First Lady invited her friend and ex-boss Valerie Jarrett, a former senior adviser to Barack Obama. They revealed their definitions of good mentor and leadership.

Michelle Obama dove into a story about her previous personal assistant. Her then freshly hired employee chose not to disturb Mrs. Obama for a phone call during an important meeting. Afterward, Mrs. Obama discovered that her daughter had called, only to be rejected by the assistant.

Her assistant assumed the meeting was too important. That crashed with Michelle Obama’s rule: always put family first. This meant leaving early to attend her children’s after school activities. And her staff barging in on meetings when her daughter called, no matter what big shots she was entertaining.

Stick to your own schedule.

Mrs. Obama kept razor-sharp boundaries between her personal and professional life. In her leadership roles, she struck time off her calendar for her family, her workouts, and relaxation. She discovered others accepted that she stuck to her own schedule. They just snatched other opportunities to meet with her. This strategy kept her productive and focused because she carved out time for things in life that mattered besides her career.

Mrs. Obama and Ms. Jarrett emphasized that the actions of a leader have a tremendous impact on their employees and others who admire them. If junior employees watch the leadership slave until midnight 7-days a week, they will believe this is what it takes to be successful.

Share snippets of your personal life.

Setting boundaries does not mean staying silent about your personal life, Obama and Jarrett agreed. If leaders open up, it invites employees to bring their whole personalities to work. Beaming about subjects like hobbies, family, and children, sparks a powerful thought: you can have a social life and career ambitions. For women, this is even more important. The burden of balancing children and career more often falls on their shoulders.

If leaders set strict boundaries between their personal and professional life, everyone in the workplace will be more satisfied.

This thrilled me. If Michelle Obama, a powerful female role model, can have a ‘work-life balance’, maybe I can too.

America is a workaholic nation.

On average, Americans work 137 more hours than Japanese workers, 260 more hours than workers in the UK, and 499 more than France. The average employee in the US with paid vacation only uses about half of their already limited number of vacation days.

If we, and especially the leadership, normalize working all hours of the day, we drive each other to our limits.

Leaders who applaud a healthy work-life balance are even more essential now. Working from home is a privilege during the COVID-19 pandemic. But for the remote workers, workdays are stretching. The boundaries between work and home have blurred. Flexibility has increased, but the risk that your work gobbles you up has also soared.

The damaging culture of overwork.

Research reveals that overwork leads to lower productivity, decreased creativity, worse health, and burnout. A lack of work-life balance is even considered a “working-hazard” by the World Health Organization.

People with more “workaholic tendencies” have more health issues like headaches and stomach pains. Guilt consumes them when they are not working. This feeling can be endless. If you identify as a workaholic, remorse may plague you when you relax. But if you work all the time, the fear of missing out creeps in.

A powerful mentor or leader who is not “on” all the time can be an excellent antidote to these feelings of guilt.

Set the right example.

We should recognize the power of setting the right example with sustainable boundaries between work and personal life. No matter your professional position, how you set your limits in the (virtual) workplace impacts others. Regardless of your career stage, others will look up to your style of work and leadership. How you act also sets the stage for others’ (future) mentoring.

Sharing snippets of your hobbies, your friends and family, and ignoring weekend emails can make a huge difference.

So, I would love to see fewer pictures on Twitter of tackling work at 9 pm because the working day wasn’t long enough. Instead, please share those precious moments of playing with your kids, dressing up your dogs, or finding your purpose in nature.

When you are in the privileged position to be a leader (I am sure you are in some way), set boundaries between what you define as work and personal life. Stick to them. This will benefit you and the people looking up to you.