To All Who Have Lost Someone to Covid-19
An open letter sent with great reverence

It’s unreal that it has been an entire year. I still remember when it all started. I remember everything shutting down and the first time I watched Trump live. But most of all, I remember the way I felt. I felt like something really, really bad was about to happen, and it was. It did.
Many of us have lost people we love either through death, indifference or disagreement. Our entire world is different than it was one year ago today and it will never be the same.
I have a heavy heart this morning as I feel the grief of those around the world who have lost their mothers, fathers, siblings, aunts and uncles, friends, and worst of all, their children.
I haven’t lost anyone through death due to the pandemic, but I have lost people through the divisiveness that the past year brought out in the world — in us.
I push back my tears, because how dare I be sad when so many have it worse than me. I swallow the lump in my throat as I tell myself I should be grateful.
But we have all lost something and one loss doesn’t cancel out the other. We have all lost the world we used to know. Not only did we lose it, but we didn’t get to say goodbye. Not even via face-time. I do not grieve merely for what I have lost, but for what WE have lost.
So to any of you who have lost someone to COVID, I want to say I’m sorry.
I’m sorry that you lost people you loved — people who made up your life as it was. I’m sorry that you have had to face these changes and this uncertainty in the world without those you have lost. I’m sorry for the people who minimized these deaths to a number on a chart and I’m sorry for the people who may have inadvertently caused them through apathy, rebellion and indifference. I’m sorry if you couldn’t go to the funeral and I’m sorry that you couldn’t visit your dying loved one. I’m sorry for all the words left unspoken.
There is nothing I can do about all this, although I wish with all my might that there was — as I have wished for the past year.
What I can do is what I have been doing and will continue to do — write, speak and above all — listen.
I hear you. I hear your cries around the world and although I cannot bring your loved ones back or take away the pain, I can listen. I am listening. I see you, I hear you and I respect your pain. I will be thinking of you as time moves on and I will never stop thinking of you.
I will always think of you and I will be sending you love each and every day. You have lost your loved ones in a battle we have all had to fight, together. I will never, ever forget you.
I don’t know what that does or what it even means to be never forgotten. But that is all I have to offer you — a place in my heart and therefore a space in my life and space in the words I put out into the world.
I now understand, as a mid 80’s baby, the deep emotion that my parents and grandparents felt for those lost at war. I understand why they would cry every year on certain days and sometimes on regular days. I understand the salute of the soldier and the palpable respect in folding an American flag. I understand, on a whole new level, memorial day.
There is something about fighting a battle together and the respect for those who suffer great loss — something indescribable. It is something I had witnessed throughout my life but never fully experienced because I did not live during such treacherous times. But now, I have.
I honor the empty spaces in your hearts and I reserve a space in mine for you. I hold deep reverence for your pain and sacrifice. I salute you today, I will salute you tomorrow, and I will honor you and your loved ones for the rest of my life.
May your pain be filled with passion and your wounds be healed with love.
With great reverence,