To All The People That Can’t Keep A Job Or A Relationship

The stigma is real, but there is always a bright side to everything.

We all know people that meet their partners at High School and have been with them since then (and apparently happy). We also all know people that got a job when they were interns, and now years later they are a manager for the same company (and apparently happy). We all know these people, but most of us are not them. Most of us can’t keep a job or a relationship.

I was never able to keep a job or a relationship. NEVER. So I am really curious about these people that can (if you are one of them, please write in the comments how you can do it).

At the moment, I am in a new relationship, and we are over one year together (started officially dating on the 20th of July 2020); and I am also in a new job for almost one year (I will complete one year on the 9th of November 2021). And I have no idea of what could happen. I am hoping to start a family with my boyfriend and to be at my job for at least five years. But we never know what could happen.

There are many reasons someone can’t keep a job or a relationship, and I will list some of them that are related to my experiences:

You Can’t Keep A Job Or A Relationship: because you make the wrong choices.

I made so many wrong choices in my life, and I do try to believe that they all led me to where I am today because, in a way, they did.

I got married because I didn’t know what to do with my life, and it seemed the easiest solution, and I lost my dream job because I didn’t know how to deal with problems I had at the job, and instead of asking for help, being brave and courageous, I chickened out and started drinking alcohol. With the marriage, from day one, I knew it was the wrong decision, and with the job, from day one, I knew I needed a thicker skin to be there.

IMPORTANT NOTE: I read somewhere that the red flags you first notice on a person and on a job are the reasons that you will end the relationship or leave the job. So make sure you make notes of all the red flags you will need to deal with before starting a new relationship or a new job.

You Can’t Keep A Job Or A Relationship: because you have commitment issues.

You can only find out if you have commitment issues when you do therapy. I dealt with commitment issues because of my abandonment trauma, as an abandoned child, it was hard for me to trust people, job opportunities and other life situations, so I used to quit them before they even started. Nowadays, with therapy, it’s easier for me to commit to life in general.

You Can’t Keep A Job Or A Relationship: because you fantasise about other life possibilities.

This one I am guilty of. I do that a lot regarding jobs. I always fantasised about what my life would look like if I didn’t get fired from my last job or if I got any one of the other jobs I applied for before getting my new job. And this is no good because I am either in the past or in the future. I can only live in the present. Sometimes, it’s hard for me to focus on what I have and not think about what I don’t have.

You Can’t Keep A Job Or A Relationship: because you can’t be happy with what you have.

For some of us, gratitude doesn’t come naturally. If you are guilty of the reason above, you are probably guilty of this one as well, because when you can live in the present, it’s hard to appreciate what you have. Of course, I am happy with my job, but I could be happier.

We can always be more grateful for the things we already have in our lives, and the more grateful you are, the happier you are.

Science can prove that.

You Can’t Keep A Job Or A Relationship: because you aren’t lucky.

I truly believe that luck is very important in our lives. I was lucky to be adopted, and if I weren’t, my life would be very different. I also know so many lovely people that would love to have a relationship and never met anyone, and talented people that don’t have the jobs they aspired to have. Sometimes, you aren’t even lucky to meet a person or to have a job opportunity. Sometimes, life is unfair, and that’s it.

What to do if you can’t keep a job or a relationship?

There is an expression that British people use a lot: It’s what it’s. And I kind of like it. Because when you don’t have an answer for something, the simple answer is: It’s what it’s. If you can’t change a situation, you need to accept it.

There are no guarantees in life, and that’s the only truth.OK, we all know people that always had the same relationship and the same job, but this could change at any minute, the same for us that never was able to keep a job or a relationship.

Of course that there is a stigma for people that change too much, that always has a new partner or a new job, but at the end of the day, only you know what is better for you, and as long as you are happy, that’s what matters.

The best piece of advice is: to have serenity to accept the things you cannot change, courage to change the things you can, and wisdom to know the difference. Only you know what is best for you.

And the bright side of never being able to keep a relationship or a job is to have lots of life experiences (and hopefully learn with them.)

Let me know if you are someone that can never keep a job or a relationship or if you are the opposite. Let’s help each other navigate life. Thank you ❤