Dear Every Girl I Left In The Morning,

Summary

A man reflects on his pattern of leaving women after spending the night together, acknowledging his fear of heartbreak and the impact of his past experiences on his behavior, and comes to a moment of self-realization after a recent encounter.

Abstract

The author of the article addresses the women he has left in the morning following intimate encounters, expressing a personal apology and explaining his actions. He reveals his reluctance to commit to long-distance relationships and his strategy of emotional self-preservation by only being together when physically present. His behavior is influenced by past heartbreaks and the actions of his exes, leading him to avoid deep connections and to leave early in the morning without further communication. However, a recent experience with a woman he felt a stronger connection with prompts him to reevaluate his actions. After waking up alone, he realizes the reality of their encounter and is struck by feelings of regret and confusion, leading him to attempt to reach out to her, only to find her social media profiles deactivated. This incident serves as a catalyst for his public apology and self-reflection on his treatment of past romantic interests.

Opinions

The author admits to being selfish in his approach to relationships, prioritizing his own emotional safety over the feelings of his partners.
He acknowledges that his pattern of behavior is a defense mechanism to prevent getting his heart broken again.
The author reveals a personal transformation, prompted by a meaningful connection with a woman that made him willing to break his own rule of leaving in the morning.
He expresses regret and a sense of loss after realizing the significance of the encounter and finding that the woman has become unreachable.
The author's reflection suggests a recognition of the emotional impact his actions have had on the women he has left, leading to his public apology.

From The Bottom of My Heart

I want to apologize to all the girls I left in the morning. Please, hear me out. Last night, I was on a date with a girl I had been planning to see since the last time we dated in 2017. We live on two different sides of the planet— long-distance relationships are not my thing.

The way that I operate, is like, “When I’m Around, Then We’re Together.” I understand how that sounds selfish, but it’s personal because I don’t ever want to get my heart broken. Not again, at the very least.

It is difficult for me to give 100% of my energy to one person now that I’m older.

Because of this, whenever I hook up with a girl, I usually leave them early in the morning (unless I brought her home — I don’t do this as much now).

I don’t answer their calls because that’s a learned behavior I picked up from how my ex’s treated me. I don’t ever admit this, but I wanted to come clean because of what happened to me this morning (or last night).

Things with this girl were going great. We already hooked up before so it’s nothing new. But I sort of felt a connection that I wanted to vibe with a little longer. I was willing to allow myself to stay the night.

Toward the end of the night, our conversations are becoming more direct. We’re in each other's faces, violating any personal space we arbitrarily claim.

Stella Rosa bubbling in a wine glass. Next to three corks sit my wallet, and her satchel, both Versace.

Ralph Lauren boxer briefs were somewhere on the floor unless she took them with her. I find them after taking a shower. She knows the protocol I guess. Givenchy thong, she leaves behind. But wait, something is not adding up. I don’t know if this happens to all guys but over the years, I’ve collected (not willingly) a shoe box of underwear in case any girl wanted to reclaim them. They lay dormant in a Jordan shoe box under my bed.

Rewind time about thirty minutes before. I wake up feeling cold. That’s odd, it’s never cold when you’re sleeping next to somebody. I’m half awake with my eyes closed, feeling around the bed. The second I realize I can’t feel her, I fully wake up, with anxious thoughts thinking, was that all a dream? It must have been. Now fast forward to the shower scene.

Ralph Lauren boxer briefs, wore the same underwear the night before, but I didn’t plan on getting a hotel room. I guess I got to “side b” my undies this morning. I brush my teeth and get dressed wondering why the hell didn’t I pack anything. I must have blacked out. What a mess.

When the truth hurts — a selfie

Then it dawned on me. If her tangible thong is present in a hotel room that I am in, this is not a dream. I look for my wallet and see that nothing is stolen. I grab my phone to check my history and low and behold. Lord, I’ve sinned many sins, and I never felt more unforgiven.

It is clear, everything that happened, happened. But why do I feel so bothered? Why do I feel so lost and confused? Something isn’t right. I lay back on the bed and I could smell her perfumed mixed with her sweat.

Still, I find myself swimming in regret. I try to call her but we only spoke through Facebook messenger. She disabled her profile. I could still read the messages to a “User that doesn’t exist.” I go to her Twitter.

She took April fools to a whole new level.

I apologize to all the girls I left in the morning.