Tired of Seeing Black Mother’s Tears After Police Shootings?

It’s one reality white people never want to admit.

I sat and watched Jacob Blake’s mother, Julia Jackson, at a press conference crying tears of pain that many Black mothers know all too well. On August 23, 2020, Jacob Blake, a 29-year old Black man, was shot seven times in the back by a Kenosha, Wisconsin police officer while his three young children sat in the car.

As I watched the press conference, I could feel his mother’s tears roll down her face. I wanted to turn off the tv but felt guilty. I wanted to yell and scream but remained quiet. I was frozen.

I am a Black mother. I know the fear of being stopped by the police for no reason. I know the pain of worrying if your child will make it home. I know the pain of worrying if I will too.

Yes, white people are protesting, posting on social media, and even professional sports are weighing in. But until they can face the fact that there are two justice systems in this country then nothing will change. Until white people are able to make changes where they are — in their own homes and neighborhoods then we will continue to see little progress. Don’t be tired of seeing Black mother’s tears after they lose their children to police brutality. Help make systematic changes.

Now, I have to say this and you may feel uncomfortable.

Black women’s tears are not valued in America, because white women’s tears have always been front and center.

When white women cry the world stands still and listens. Black women are not granted this same level of mattering in America. To matter means that I see and treat you as a human being. To be a white woman means that you are shielded from having to worry about your Black child being detained by the police because they matched the suspect’s identity — a Black person. It means not having to give “the talk” to your Black children because you don’t know if they will survive if the police stop their car. To be white means that you will be given the benefit of the doubt. White mothers are shielded from the cares of this world that many Black mothers have to face.

So what happens when a Black mother cries?

Well, I am reminded of Mammie Hill the mother of Emmett Till. Emmett Till was killed by two white men in 1955 after a white woman said he made advances toward her. In 2017, the white woman, Carolyn Bryant, recanted her story. But, I can suspect that as a white woman she cried. I can imagine that the mother of Emmett Till did too, but the segregated South did not care about her tears. At Emmett Till’s funeral, his mother left his casket open so the world could see what was done to her son. But those who murdered Emmett Till were never convicted.

Even now other Black mothers are still waiting for justice. Trayvon Martin was shot and killed by George Zimmerman while he walked through a neighborhood wearing a hoodie and holding a pack of Skittles. The Mothers of the Movement started in 2013 after the shooting of Trayvon Martin to support the mothers of Black children killed by the police. Some of these mothers include Eric Garner, Michael Brown, Sandra Bland, and Jordan Davis. From Emmett Till to Jacob Blake, Black mothers are constantly living in a state of trauma that many white people do not want to acknowledge.

That’s why I can honestly say that I am not tired of seeing Black mothers weeping about their children. Black women have to hold on to the pain of racism, sexism, and seeing their child being unjustly killed. Black women shouldn't have to bear the heavy emotional weight of racism. So Black mothers often have to let go of the pain through their tears.

Releasing that pain one of the most freeing and humanizing things that Black mothers can do when they live in a society that devalues her body and positions their seed as unworthly of living.

Police shootings of unarmed Black people must end — it should not occur in the first place.

Black mothers should not have to see the last moments of their child’s life played out on the national news for all to see. They should never have to endure the hurt of losing a child that they carried, birthed, and love. The excessive use of force against Black people is and has always been about race and racism. Anti-black racism runs deep. It is woven into the fabric of this society.

It’s not enough to say that Black people should follow the rules and obey the law.

Black people are often guilty until proven guilty.

Seeing yet another police officer take the life of an unarmed Black person and never be arrested or convicted has created a numbness in America that is infuriating. More protests have led to little change. More police shootings have claimed more Black lives.

White people have to face this truth. Racism is a problem in this country. It’s not enough for Black people’s lives to matter when it’s convenient. Black lives should matter all the time.

White people must hold each other accountable each and every day. They must understand the grief and trauma that racism and police brutality cause the Black community.

People must change and systems must change. White people must work to educate themselves about Black lives. This process isn’t going to be easy, but questioning your own compassion, empathy, and ability to see Black people’s humanity is a good place to start.