Tired of Dealing With Your Chronic Inconsistency? This is How I Fixed Mine
After Being a Quitter For Most of My Life
I have been a professional quitter for my entire life.
- In the sports category, I have started (and quit) any possible existing sport: classic dance, modern dance, gym, volleyball, contemporary dance, surfing, samba, acro yoga, salsa, and bachata — you name it.
- On the hobby front, my portfolio of abandoned interests is just as diverse: Sewing, drawing, painting, origami, meditation, volunteering, creating dashboards on Tableau, and fashion design.
- Even career-wise, despite having only completed my studies a couple of years ago, I managed already to break into (and subsequently, get tired of) several industries.
Breaking The Vicious Cycle Of Starting New Pursuits
At the end of 2021 I got pretty burned out of my latest pursuit (yes, I am perfectly capable of driving myself to exhaustion even in my “free-time pursuits”), which consisted of teaching myself how to build dashboards on Tableau in view of a potential career pivot, I decided not to embark on any new endeavors for a while.
While starting new pursuits demanded a lot of energy — in terms of learning a new “vocabulary,” finding resources to troubleshoot problems, and potentially building a network — it was also a way to get a periodic rush of dopamine.
However, the frustration of repeatedly going through this process with a new interest every time, without seeing tangible results, was calling for a break.
Since I had just started a new job, I chose to focus solely on that and spend my free time resting and hanging out with my partner and friends.
No hustling, no packed schedules outside work, no grinding plans.
I detoxed my quitting and dopamine-addicted mindset by abstaining from, and thereby avoiding the possibility of quitting yet another pursuit.
Until… I Got Tired Of It
After almost a year, I got bored of having nothing I could work on in my free time.
In other words, I felt I needed something, outside work and social life, that would spark my interest again, something I would look forward to dedicating a couple of hours a week to on the nights when Netflix didn’t sound appealing or on quiet Sunday afternoons when the house was silent.
I yearned to experience a flow state again.
This time though, I didn’t want it to be yet another temporary, shiny object I had picked up out of my incontrollable multi-passionate instincts.
I knew I had to make a wise choice.
Acknowledging My Multi-Passionate Nature Was The First Step Towards Acceptance
After reading some books on the topic, I gained awareness of my multi-passionate nature.
Feeling interested in many different subjects and wanting to engage in a gazillion pursuits was my natural inclination.
If you also identify with this description, you might want to check this article out:
The sooner I embraced and fully accepted my nature, the sooner I would stop feeling guilty for all the pursuits I had abandoned over the years and finally learn how to harness this superpower.
I also realized that occasionally, in the past, I had embraced interests that didn’t genuinely resonate with me, often driven by their profitable appeal or trendiness.
It quickly became evident that my enthusiasm for these interests would inevitably wear off.
This time, I recognized the importance of pursuing something that authentically aligned with my true self.
Reviewing My Childhood Passions Helped Me Re-Connect With My Authentic Interests
One day, I sat down and reflected on all the passions I had as a child.
Childhood is a time when you are far less conditioned by thoughts of “what’s useful for your career”, “what’s more profitable”, or “what can make you popular.”
There is an innate wisdom that comes with such an age, as you naturally gravitate toward activities that bring you joy, you effortlessly enter a state of flow and you don’t concern yourself with what others think of you.
In my case, some of my preferred activities consisted of playing with Barbies, drawing clothes and people, and writing.
I could engage in any of these activities for hours without realizing it was already time for dinner.
Now that I had a list of authentic pursuits (excluding the Barbies) in my hands, how could I choose one?
Gaining Clarity On Personal Values For Direction
I have always been interested in fashion and making clothes, but since I started dreaming of a fully remote lifestyle and traveling the world, I realized that pursuing this passion would require in-person classes. Additionally, I couldn’t see myself carrying a sewing machine on all my travels.
My interest in clothing-making didn’t align with my current value of location independence.
I also enjoyed drawing, but I saw it as a pursuit too distant from being monetizable. While monetization wasn’t my primary goal, as a bit of a side hustler, I wanted something that could eventually serve as a backup plan in case of job loss or if I decided to leave my full-time position.
Finally, I wanted something that would allow me to interact with other people and potentially provide a sense of community.
In summary, I wanted something easily portable, potentially profitable, and moderately social. Among my list of interests, writing aligned well with all three of these characteristics.
Conclusions
Ever since I started writing — an activity that resonated with my nomadic lifestyle, that allowed for a new source of income, and that felt authentic to my nature, consistency has become second nature.
Dedicating my time and energy to something that truly resonates with me doesn’t feel as frustrating and daunting as pursuing an interest with which I have no personal connection.
If you have also been a victim of continuously starting and leaving new pursuits in your life, I suggest you to try the steps below to fix your chronic inconsistency. They worked wonders for me:
- Abstain from engaging in any new pursuit for a certain amount of time in order to allow the mind to detox from the dopamine hit of continuously engaging in new interests.
- Gain awareness of your multi-passionate nature. Read about and work on embracing your multipod nature and heal the guilt for the abandoned pursuits. If you have been chronically inconsistent for a while, there is a chance you also are a multi-passionate individual.
- Review childhood passions as a way to reconnect with authentic interests. Ask yourself questions like ‘What was I enjoying doing as a kid?’, ‘What would make time go by incredibly fast?’ It’s easier if you make a list of them.
- Understand what your personal values are and if they match your interests. Would your values enable the pursuit of your interests or would they make it complicated? Select only the interest/s in harmony with your current values and lifestyle.