Tired Of Being Tired

Admitting to yourself it’s all getting too much

Is it me or is everyone else like this? I’m bloody tired. Bone crushingly achingly tired. Tired of spirit and tired of the world. It’s like all the joy has been sucked out of everything at the moment.

Recipe for tiredness. Add in one pandemic, a generous pinch of dismal news channels, a huge tablespoonful of Donald, no, make that three tablespoons, add in a couple of tablespoons of an inept British Government. Season with political unrest, Black Lives Matter, social distancing, and add a huge dollop of American Election and half a teaspoon of Melania revamping the White House Gardens. Just before it’s cooked add in the garnish of the anti-maskers.

Place in an ovenproof dish, put on the middle oven shelf, high temperature for an hour, and watch it explode into a complete and utter disaster that the rest of the world has to deal with.

And there you have the completed dish of a terrible year called 2020. No wonder we are all tired. I feel myself and my spirit getting increasingly tired with every day that passes.

Christmas, scrap that. I’ve canceled it. Due to the rule of six, there will be four of us munching through half a cow on Christmas Day and if we are lucky a few mince pies afterward.

Any gatherings over six. Banned. So if this carries on into the Christmas season there will be no Carol Concerts or anything else that could possibly bring joy to a currently grey joyless world.

Although I’m beginning to sound like the Grinch to end all Grinches I’m really finding it quite cathartic to write all this down and strangely feeling quite energized that I have admitted to myself that yes, I am damned tired of it all.

In no way am I considering “ending it all” but admitting in words that I am tired is a powerful thing. I doubt I am the only one. And sitting here typing it has really shown to me the power of the written word. I can hardly yell at my husband “I AM TIRED OF IT ALL” so I am yelling here and by God, it feels good. Getting it out there and out of my system and hopefully my mind.

So if you are tired just admit it to yourself. It’s a start. Write your thoughts down and getting them out might stop them from pulling you down.

2020 has been a strange, seismic, and ultimately tragic year for many and I am aware of that. So I’m not going to plod on with all that “best foot forward”, “stiff upper lip” nonsense. No more. I’m tired and I’m going to admit that to myself and in realizing that truth I can only improve my mental health.

However, come what may, I shall carry on with my writing, wear my mask, social distance, and hope for the best.

And tomorrow I shall still be tired.

But at least I’ve admitted it to myself.