Tiny Home, Big Change: Conquering Your Fears of Downsizing
Overcome common fears and uncertainties associated with downsizing, and embrace the transformative journey ahead.
Moving into a tiny home, homestead, van, RV, or other alternative living situation can be a transformative experience, but it often comes with a long list of potential fears and uncertainties that can weigh heavy on your mind.
For some people, the thrill of a major life change can be an exciting time — but for others, it can bring stress, anxiety, and fear.
Learning how to take stock of those fears and rationally understand them can help make the entire transition much easier on you and your family.
The Long List of Uncertainties
Unfortunately, there can be many fears that come with a major life change such this. Moving from one house to another is stressful enough, but moving from a normal home into an alternative living style that requires insane amounts of downsizing and decluttering can be an entire shock to some.
Let’s take a closer look at some of the fears you may be feeling or may run into during this journey.
Fear of the Unknown
This is a pretty generalized one that covers a whole bunch of things, many of which I will go into below. But, in short, the uncertainty of what tiny home or alternative living will be like can be intimidating.
Will you enjoy it? Will you be safe? Will you be warm in the winter? Will you be cool in the summer? Will your children be happy? Will your pets be happy? Will you have room for your necessities? Will your finances be okay? Will your family still love you? Will society reject you?
In any context from a job change to an entire lifestyle change, fear of the unknown is a very common thing and should not be something you are ashamed of.
Let yourself feel the butterflies in your stomach and take some time to think about what is really scary to you personally. Once you figure out exactly where your fears lie, you can work to address them one by one.
Fear of Losing Comfort
Comforts can be anything from having room for your extended family to gather on holidays to having a large sectional couch in your living room.
When downsizing into a tiny home, homestead, van, RV, or other alternative home, there may be many concerns about sacrificing modern comforts and conveniences in order to live in a smaller space.
I went through this at the start of my downsizing journey. I haven’t had a couch for many years, but do occasionally miss it. I have slept on a twin-sized bed for more than two decades now, and still occasionally miss being able to “starfish” across a queen sized bed.
While I did lose these comforts in my journey, I quickly adjusted to the loss. I still have everything I need to survive and thrive, I just had to adjust my expectations for my new day to day normal.
Fear of Judgment
Worrying about how friends, family, or society will perceive your choice to live in a tiny home can be a huge burden on some people’s minds.
Much of society still views people living full time in vans or RVs as being homeless. I have always considered it an alternative lifestyle, not a homeless one. Modern vans and RVs have everything a traditional house has, just in a more compact footprint.
Tiny home folks or those going off-grid on a homestead are sometimes viewed by the general public as the crazy government hating conspiracy nuts or woodland hermits shying away from society.
Sure, those people (myself included) don’t have the traditional “sticks and bricks” house — but in some cases, those people don’t want that lifestyle anymore.
The mortgage or rent price on a traditional home buys me a couple tanks of gas in a 40 foot RV and allows me to travel to places I have never seen before and create memories that will last the rest of my lifetime.
Fear of Limited Space
Feeling cramped or restricted in a smaller living space can be a very valid fear, and it is one that I had to adjust to. I was thrown into the alternative living lifestyle against my will at first, and started off being straight up homeless which was a very stressful and difficult change.
Over time, I upgraded to different living situations, but never once went back to a traditional home with a living room, full sized kitchen, bedroom, garage, basement, etc.
I’ve occasionally missed that stuff, but not enough to go back to it. The simple lifestyle and freedom I have now is worth much more to me personally than living in what society considers a “proper” home.
Plus — in the time it takes for you to clean your normal-sized bathroom, I can clean my entire tiny home. Smaller home, fewer chores!
Fear of Letting Go
The emotional attachment to possessions and the difficulty of decluttering are a fear almost everyone moving into this smaller or alternative lifestyle will experience.
I still miss a few items I had to part with more than 20 years ago, and occasionally I do regret having to part with some of the rare and endangered breeds of poultry I was raising before I lost the farm.
Thinking about the “what if’s” can be exhausting, and it’s something I try to keep out of my mind when possible.
For the most part, I have moved on and learned to live without the things I have now. But a few times a year, the memories of some very cool inanimate objects I sold or gave away decades ago still brings a bit of sentimentality to my mind.
Fear of Financial Instability
You may occasionally have concerns about the financial aspects of tiny home living, including affordability and potential expenses. For those living in a van or RV full time, this can be a very real fear — even with good insurance coverage.
For vehicle dwellers, all it takes is one road accident to completely destroy your vehicle AND your home. This fear might be tickling the back of your mind every time you get behind the wheel.
Financial instability can be a real problem for folks in alternative lifestyles. Tiny home and homestead bills are much smaller than traditional house bills would be, but all it takes is one accident, one issue with the electricity, one accidental house fire, and everything can come crashing down around you.
Keeping a fool-proof backup plan is not always feasible, but setting aside some of your income into a savings account or ensuring you have an insurance plan that covers all kinds of accidents and “acts of god” can be a great way to add a bit of peace of mind in the financial department.
Fear of Regret
Worries that downsizing may lead to regrets or the desire to return to a larger living space. Similar to “buyer’s remorse” upending your entire living situation can bring feelings of regret as well.
“Did I make the right choice?” “What the hell was I thinking?!” “My family thinks I am nuts, are they right?”
You’ll probably go through many arguments with yourself as you adjust to your new lifestyle. I sure did! And still sometimes do. Nearing my 40th birthday now, and sliding into a bit of a midlife crisis, I occasionally wonder if I am too old for this silly nonsense and should just move into a studio apartment in the city.
But then I think about all the experiences I have had and memories I have gained over the years in this alternative lifestyle, as well as what new memories and experiences are still to come, and it makes it all worthwhile.
Fear of Adaptation
Struggling to adapt to a new lifestyle and daily routines is going to be something that takes a bit of time for most people. Very few folks can go from a traditional home and 9–5 job to a homestead life where a rooster is your alarm clock and sunrise and sunset determine your workday hours.
You don’t have to turn into the perfect homesteader on your first day. Instead, slowly ease yourself into your new schedule. Try a few different things and see what works for you and your specific situation.
RVers and Vanlifers will have a very different schedule than someone taking the full off-grid homestead route. Once you find your groove, everything will get much easier. Give yourself time to see what works and what feels best and just try to go with the flow!
Fear of Maintenance
The maintenance and upkeep required for a tiny home or small homestead is normally pretty straightforward, and likely won’t be too drastically different than what you experienced in a traditional home.
You’ll still need to keep an eye out for plumbing issues, and electricity issues (for both on-grid and solar systems), and make sure there are no leaks when it rains.
For RVers and Vanlifers, maintenance and upkeep can be quite a bit more involved. Since your home is a vehicle with a working mechanical engine, you’ll either need to keep funds set aside for a mechanic when needed, or learn how to do your own maintenance, upkeep, and repairs on your own.
For older vehicles, I would highly recommend learning how to do it yourself. Older vehicles are much more mechanical and less computerized which, in my opinion, makes them so much easier to work on.
If you’re rolling around in a new Mercedes-Benz Sprinter van or a modern luxury RV, you might want to let the dealership stay on top of your maintenance and repairs. These vehicles are tied into multiple computer systems for the engine as well as the internal workings, and unless you really know what you are doing, you can end up doing more harm than good when tinkering under the hood.
Fear of Safety
Worries related to security and safety in a smaller living space is something a lot of people, especially those with children or those living alone, can experience at the start, as well as from time to time throughout their journey.
For homesteaders, if your state and county allows it, I would recommend considering a firearm. There are firearm safety classes you can take as much as you need to in order to feel confident with a weapon in your home.
Having a firearm can protect you, your family, and your property from human threats, as well as animal threats. If you plan on maintaining livestock in areas where predatory animals are present, having a firearm may mean the difference in saving your livestock or seeing a massacre of your livelihood in the morning.
Fire safety can be another huge concern, and is one that weighs on my mind as well. I’ve experienced fire a couple times in the past, and it’s something I don’t want to experience again if I can help it. For vehicle dwellers, engine and electrical fires are not unheard of and can quickly spread to be a complete loss of your vehicle and belongings.
For tiny homes and homesteads, wildfires, lightning strikes, and electrical fires can be your biggest threats. Electrical fires can be a huge risk if you did your own interior wiring, or if you use a generator indoors and don’t have it vented properly.
Open-flame water heaters, climate control, and cooking surfaces can also be something to be very aware of. Don’t leave open flames unattended, and always check to make sure nothing is near the flame at any time.
Keep your fire alarms in good working order and test them often, and keep a fire extinguisher on hand at all times. These are not expensive items to keep in your tiny home or vehicle, and you can find both small and standard sized chemical fire extinguishers on Amazon for $20 or so.
Fear of Loss of Identity
Some people spent a lot of time worrying that downsizing may lead to a loss of personal identity or self-definition. You grew up in a large house in a normal neighborhood, and are now doing a complete 180 and moving into an off-grid homestead.
The culture shock can be a real thing to deal with, so it’s not uncommon to feel a bit lost at the start. Who are you? That’s something I ask myself on occasion. Exactly who am I and what makes me me?
My home and my living situation don’t really define me. The provide experiences and discipline that helps mold who I am, but they aren’t 100% exactly the reason I am the way that I am.
You will still be the same person you always were. You’ll have the same beliefs, the same goals, and the same aspirations for the future — only now, this new experience might help you really understand exactly what matters most in life.
In your “old life,” you may have felt that having a big house, a steady office job, and a sprawling surrounding neighborhood were what made you who you were — but your “new life” might show you that family connections, the feeling of freedom, and embracing nature are a bigger part of your life than you first thought.
While it might seem like there are countless fears that will need to be dealt with, keep in mind that not all of the above fears will apply to you. Some may, but others won’t.
My best advice for someone taking the leap into an alternative lifestyle is to embrace it. There will be some speed bumps along the way, but I promise you there are so many positive aspects that can easily outweigh any fears or worries you may have.
Take it one day at a time, and don’t feel like you need to be a pro on the first day. I’ve been in an alternative living situation for more than two decades now and still find myself learning new things all the time.