Tinted Window Rant

Are You A Courteous Driver?

The rules of the road are standardized. Stopping at red lights is an obvious illustration of a rule that we all know and obey. Drivers take some form of state test to obtain a license for operating a vehicle. You pass a test to demonstrate your knowledge of the rules.

I think the rules work well. The majority of us stay in our lane and manage to get where we are going. We groove to our music, eat our snacks and roll down the highway, free but dependent on each other to drive well.

My pet peeve with drivers? Lack of common courtesy.

Being a considerate driver takes effort and mindfulness. These are nuances of good driving. There is no requirement for being courteous, and nobody enforces this.

So ask yourself: Are you a courteous driver?

I find most drivers are easily angered or triggered. I am speaking about a state of mind that is several steps below “road rage.” It is a feeling inside, a simple innate desire for a competitive edge, as though driving from point A to point B is a sporting event with winners and losers. Once that perception kicks in, an otherwise nice human can turn into a maniac.

We all have a list of irritating experiences that cause us to have judgements about that driver in the other car. But if you boil it down, it gets easier to see why.

Let’s take merging. You want to be able to merge into a lane of traffic, whether traffic is flowing or stop and go. Your anger button gets pushed when a driver speeds up, does not let you in, and you cannot merge.

Conversely, if you are flowing with traffic, and a car needs to merge, what do you do? If the competitive nature kicks in, even subconsciously, you will tend to speed up because you are trying to win. So you have been discourteous in that moment by not letting your fellow driver merge in front of you.

This example starts the conversation. You could have your reasons for not letting her in. Maybe you are late to pick up little Billy from school. Maybe you are teaching that driver a lesson for not using his turn signal. But in the end, if you are the one merging, you are thrilled for someone to put on a brake and wave you into the lane.

Why should this be the exception? “Hi Honey. I have this weird story to tell you. Someone slowed down and waved for me to merge in front of them today. You know that terrible merge where the Costco entrance is? It happened right there!” Unreal.

I had a talk with a traffic cop in Jacksonville, North Carolina, and he pointed out that the majority of motor vehicle accidents in that town were caused by drivers being from different places. The huge military base brings drivers from all over the country to one smallish town. Each person brings a different understanding of the rules and expectations of other drivers on the road. Many of them collide.

The first time I realized driving could be so nuanced, I was in my early 20s. I had driven up from Los Angeles to visit my relatives in Santa Cruz, and a guy pulled in front of me to make a left against the light. I was irked.

He looked at me and laughed and shrugged. I was just barely able to turn my hand gesture into a wave rather than flipping the bird. Then we both laughed. In the insanity and anonymity of L.A., my anger would have been reinforced.

But I felt self conscious, suddenly aware that being angry was a disproportionate response to such a mild offense. A smile from a surfer dude in the quieter, slower paced beach town of Santa Cruz gave me pause.

Being a good driver requires you to be courteous. You have to be consciously aware of your actions, and consider how your driving actions causes the other driver’s reactions.

What happens when you become anonymous?

Social niceties arise out of how we relate. We take in the other person by meeting the gaze. Eye contact is a primary point of understanding the other human you are interacting with.

When identity is taken out of the equation, your sense of social responsibility diminishes. If I had not seen the Santa Cruz driver and made a connection, I would have rudely flipped off the vehicle in general for its bad behavior. But the driver looked at me, laughed, and disarmed me.

What would be the surest way of taking that feeling of connection out of the picture?

Window tinting. The most careless driver on the road is the person driving behind tinted glass.

Watch for it. I am dead serious. The car that passes me on the right, cuts me off, runs the red, weaves in and out of traffic like he is playing a video game and is generally a menace of the road — is hiding behind tinted windows.

That driver feels invisible, above reproach, and disconnected from the drivers around her. And those are the biggest offenders. Have you noticed? Take a look around and let me know if you think I’m onto something.

I may also be completely off base. That’s what a rant is for!

Thank you for reading.