Time Travel Is Actually Possible

Zero To Sixty Seven In The Blink Of An Eye

I know. You’re questioning that statement right now. Is time travel possible? No way that’s possible right?

Well, you’d be wrong.

For all you disbelievers out there, all you fellow time travelers, you need to listen up. Yeah, you read that right. You’re traveling in time just like I am. And no, none of us need a fancy Delorean or even a Ford Pinto to travel in time.

My Ford F150 does the trick just fine.

Listen, if I didn’t have the ability (just like every Human on the planet) to travel in time, how is it I went from zero to sixty-seven in the blink of an eye? How is it I’m sitting here talking to you now at a ripe (maybe overripe) age looking back on my life and wondering how the h*ll I got here so fast?

There is no other viable explanation. I must have used some sort of time accelerator, something which whooshed me through the past sixty-seven years and deposited me in this decade, in front of this computer and keyboard.

From my perspective, being a time traveler ain’t all it’s cracked up to be. What’s bad about it is that I can peer into the past, look at all the stupid things I did or said, but my time travel machine won’t let me go back and change them.

For bad, or worse, this one-dimensional time traveling I’ve been doing really sucks. It must be a defect in the mechanics somewhere. The problem is my time travel machine, like many others, didn’t seem to come with a manual.

So until I figure out out to rewire, or adjust the intricate mechanisms, I’ll only be able to move forward into my future.

It’s a sad state of affairs, my time traveling. It lets me see all those disasters I piled up back in the day, even plays out each moment like a scene in a horror film where the expendable character is about to get their head lopped off.

I don’t want to see them, but I do. And so, I hide my eyes content to peek between my fingers. And it always turns out the same way. There goes the head. Just like last time.

But being a time traveler like I am, doesn’t mean I only get to review the bad things that happened in my past. Sometimes my time traveling stops on beautiful things that happened. Like the marriage to my darling wife, and the birth of my four wonderful daughters.

And the moment I bought a scratch-off ticket for two bucks and won twenty dollars.

So my time traveling hasn’t been all that bad. Come on, folks, we’re talking twenty dollars.

The problem is I need to find the switch that slows my traveling down. This sucker moves fast. I mean one second I’m a baby in my mother’s arms, and a few eyeblinks later here I am, a much older version of that same stunningly handsome baby.

Okay, maybe I had a face only a mother could love, but the point is my traveling has been far to quick for my tastes.

To me, it seems I’ve hurtled through time to get to this point, and I’ve still got puppies to hug and roses to stop and smell, and words to write.

So many words to write.

There are days much like today when I sit and wonder why my time traveling machine doesn’t have a reverse. If it did, I could go back a few years, bringing with me all the incredible work ethics I’ve learned and the positive attitudes I’ve gained about my writing.

I could apply everything from today back then and then start moving forward again. I’d perform wonders, write great tomes of work. I would write the most unbelievably gorgeous passages, and the entire world would swoon. I would simply be unstoppable.

Er, uh, in a humble kind of way.

But then, maybe that’s not such a great idea.

Because if I did all that back then, what would I be doing now? If I somehow find a way to move the goalposts and travel back in time and accomplish all my dreams, then what goals would I have now?

Is it possible to be better than the best? Once you’re at the pinnacle, where do you go from there?

The journey, not the destination matters — T.S. Elliot

Ah, okay, Mr. Elliot, I get it. My time traveling is what matters, not the fact that I’ve managed to go from zero to sixty-seven in seconds flat. It’s about how I finally reached this moment in time, this period of my life.

This moment where I’m blessed with reasonable health, a reasonably sound (but just a little askew) mind, and the ability to still follow my heart and soul where they lead.

So, instead of trying to go back in time, I think I’ll just let this sucker rip and head on down my future road. Who knows the P.G. I’ll discover in the future and what in the heck he’ll come up with.

Thanks So Much For Reading

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