RANT/GET THE HOSE
Time To Call Out Yet Another BS Bloviator
Just one more spectacular turd stinking up the platform
Disclaimer: My story isn’t bullshit, but the one I’m going to tell you about, certainly is.
I’ve been relatively quiet of late about the assholes here who spew phony advice and tips to reel in the suckers, of which there are plenty.
You know who you are, people.
The “gushers,” as I call them. The dupes who fall for anything and everything in the hope that one more bullshit artist will squirt out the magic nugget they’re seeking. So they can be not just writers, but WRITERS WHO MAKE A BUNDLE!
Today, though, I don’t feel like taking the high road. I feel like kicking some bullshit ass.
After sifting through a rash of uber-fetid turds recently, I am convinced that Medium will publish ANYTHING. Obvious clickbait. Sex stories that repel rather than arouse. Even, plagiarized material. Yeah, whoever’s up in the Sky Box doesn’t give a shit. As long as the money keeps flowing uphill, they’re good.
So, this latest jerkoff farted out a noxious tale of how they make $10,000 a month, freelancing.
Right off the bat, anyone with brains can sense that this is major horseshit, especially when the writer leads with the supposedly jaw-dropping info that they work a mere ten hours from Monday to Thursday.
I just bet you gushers are salivating right now.
Poor bastards.
The writer correctly states that their good fortune has nothing to do with acumen.
“This is not because I have some extraordinarily special skills or traits. It is because I have spent years in the freelance writing industry and know all the ins and outs of this field.”
Whoa! ALL the ins and outs? Huh. Are you like, one hundred years old?
The writer concludes their weak lead-in with an encouraging pat on the ass for the desperados:
It’s your turn to get financial freedom by following in my footsteps.
Yeah, baby. That’s what we’re here for. To follow turd-slingers like you.
Here’s another salient comment: (I’m guessing the writer thought that formatting it as a subtitle would give it more heft.)
No Shortcuts To Success
Damn. Really? Is that why I’ve been struggling to become a working screenwriter for nearly twenty years? Thank you for acknowledging that becoming the next Charlie Kauman or Nora Ephron or M. Knight Shamalamadingdong won’t happen overnight. I was wondering about this so thanks for clearing it up.
The writer finishes up this stinkbomb with the mindblowing tip that, those of us seeking a big payout every month must be:
Willing To Learn
Is this not a travesty, folks? That people get away with this pathetic attempt to prey on the weaker-minded amongst us?
The story is a three-minute read, by the way, so what does that tell you? How much time do you think the writer invested in this discharge?
It received over 1.2k claps and twenty-three comments, not all of them glowing, by the way, including the one from yours truly.
Of course, I cannot reveal names because we all know where that will lead.
But that said, as long as I participate here, I feel it’s my right, if not my duty, to try to hose off the shit wherever I find it.
And, there’s always more, so stay tuned.
© Sherry McGuinn, 2022. All Rights Reserved.
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And if this story gave you goosies, please check out the ones I’ve conveniently linked to, as well as my newsletter, Sherry Raw.
Sherry McGuinn is a slightly-twisted, longtime Chicago-area writer and award-winning screenwriter. She is currently pitching her newest screenplay, “The Month We Fell Apart,” a drama with dark, comedic overtones and inspired by a true story, as well as “DEAD TIRED,” a female-driven, ass-kicking thriller.