Rewind my story

Time stops, hands in the air, pausing the moment

Is this love?

The air is light today, I adorn the princess attire, Those days were beautiful, as I could gaze out of my window, in nascent spaces to see your shadow,

I rejoice seeing it, The mesmerizing aura you have! I was immersed in it. I loved playing with it, you did too.

We explored like beautiful Lillies blooming, expressing the sweetness and glimmer of hope and beauty that sporadically revealed in the surroundings,

The unending and recurring “I love you!” became accessible and I liked drowning in it, willing to shed and lose everything, even if it meant paying a price.

Love is beautiful, so is respect, so is adulation, everything from stopping the road to expanding more on the upside soul,

All the fissures of time became a path for us to run in oceans, and then jump into the oceans

And fall down, down and deeper down till I put on my temptress gown and I can open it all up,

and sink my lips and tongues swirling in your body to seep inside of your soul,

Opening your heart up and seeking warmth in the deepening embrace you have for me, I entered it, looking for love!

The days tame, and the nights start simmering in heat, bodies and moisture lapping in the starlit gaze.

The dream dust, and cosmic sights all form and decay, and I loved to take the ride,

To be enlightened one and for the last time, pacing in between lanes, with pull and release,

I have reached out many times dragging you with me. To make you reach the destined space,

Slow and steady till we vanish in the air, as a heavy presence that earth cared for.

As I entered the chambers of contraction, I started to time systolic and diastolic pressure,

And then the empty cocoons kept emerging with no larvae on it, forgetting to find a caterpillar there.

But I was lost, deranged and detached from the realism that was forming in the subconscious gaze.

Maybe, I missed the gaze and the nuance. Regardless, I fell down the pit and kept falling inside into an unknown territory of giving my heart for rent,

It was stomped and torn, as usual, even the parochial affair became more prudent in cataclysm, In all isms this ism destroys you.

Or you directing the destruction like a Hyena killing its prey alive, the matriarch goes for the softer tissues to open the flesh and start eating.

It was only bonding sacredly that I saw your clothes falling down, and a bare body, a heart of deeper doom that wants to create havoc.

Of all the wrapping up like two snakes and embracing the serene sense of intimacy before, it seems it is all lost now,

The moment you came in dragged me by pulling my hair, and stomped my head on the ground.

And I lay there thinking if all love ends like this if at all this is true, Is it worth the abuse?

From all the ruckus and uproar, the slaps, fingernails embedded deep in my skin, and black and blue spots all feature in my body acting as a canvas of shame,

Reminds me of my naivety, to think what if I am alive tomorrow? One day I gulped for air as the demon hell-bent on forcing himself on me,

He kept choking me in rage, his deep fingers were deep inside my pores, I could feel my bones shaking, and in a strange way, I became ecstatic.

The beating and mauling were too desensitized, I became filthy and self-deprecatory, a being of flesh with no emotions.

Hence once you categorically replace a human with a Homo Sapien Sapien, They will be wild, raging wild, always in war mode, attack in the dawn and loot in the dusk.

Don’t look at me like this. There is more to come, You will die here alone, so much for fake pretence of love.

Maybe rot here alone too..

Cosmic Context: How do you feel when your feelings get betrayed in the most abysmal manner? This piece reflects on a lady’s journey where she saw her relationship dynamics change in front of her eyes after she got married to her partner. From love and intimacy to violence and abuse. She has had enough and decides to take her revenge. In the last lines, as she narrates her sorrows, her lover crawls in front of her as she has him turned upside down hanging by a string of rope, he falls down and comes crawling for forgiveness but she hasn’t been able to get past the trauma inflicted on her.

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