Summary

The article reflects on the personal significance of the song "Time Marches On" by Tracy Lawrence, detailing the author's evolving perspective on the passage of time from youth to parenthood.

Abstract

The author recounts their teenage years when they eagerly anticipated the future, symbolized by the song "Time Marches On" by Tracy Lawrence, which their mother would tearfully change whenever it played. The song, which narrates the life cycle of a family, now resonates differently with the author as they themselves face the reality of their children growing up and leaving home. The author acknowledges the pain of this transition, understanding their mother's past sorrow, and resolves to cherish every stage of their children's lives, even as their role diminishes. The article concludes with the sentiment that a mother's ultimate task is to instill enough confidence in her children to let them go, despite the emotional challenge it presents.

Opinions

The author initially failed to grasp their mother's emotional response to the song "Time Marches On," seeing only the positive aspects of growing up.
The author's mother did not look forward to an empty nest, contrary to other parents who anticipated the peace and quiet.
The author now empathizes with their mother's perspective after experiencing their own child's transition to adulthood.
The author believes that embracing every chapter of their children's lives is crucial, even when they are no longer the central figure.
The author holds the view that a mother's job is to raise children with the confidence to move forward independently, accepting the success of their parenting when their children no longer need them.

Time Marches On

Whether you want it to or not

There was a song that was popular when I was young that I loved, but my mother would always make me turn the station when it came on the radio.

The song is titled “Time Marches On,” and Tracy Lawrence released it in the year 1996, the year I turned thirteen.

As the title so clearly indicates, it’s about time always moving forward and how things change over the years.

At thirteen, to me, that sounded like nothing but a blessing.

I couldn’t wait to be older. I wanted to drive a car and get a job and move out on my own, and I wanted to build a home like I had always dreamed homes were supposed to be.

Listening to that song on repeat was the way to go, in my very informed thirteen-year-old opinion.

I didn’t understand how or why my mom would cry every time it was on. It’s a great song!

I know a lot of you probably hate Country music, but give it a quick listen below, so you can have an idea of what we’re actually talking about.

Now, for those of you who didn’t click on the link, very briefly, the song goes through the life chapters of a family, all the way to the mama suffering from dementia and the daddy being dead.

Of course, I thought that was sad, but at thirteen, those things seemed so far removed from actual reality that I honestly didn’t understand why the song depressed Mom so much.

My brother was eighteen and newly moved out, and my sister was seventeen and had been right on his heels.

I couldn’t wait till it was my turn. I had been left behind, and all I wanted to do was catch up. To start my life. To build something new.

At the time, I didn’t think about what that meant for my mom. That the start of my life meant the beginning of the end of hers as she had known it for so many years.

I know a lot of parents look forward to being empty nesters. My mom’s best friend at the time was one of them. She was the mother of my best friend, and I spent a lot of time at their house. She talked about how she couldn’t wait to have some peace and quiet in the house.

That made sense to me, at the time.

My mom was different. She wanted to hold on to us. She was not looking forward to an empty nest in any way. In fact, she couldn’t think of anything that sounded worse.

But at thirteen, that wasn’t on my mind. I heard the song, and the thought of Time marching on was only a positive thing.

Clearly, good things waited for me in the future. Once I was an adult, the world would be a better place. I couldn’t wait.

Now, with my oldest daughter eighteen and in the beginning stages of building her own life and working toward flying from the nest we built for her, the song does hold a different meaning for me.

And I do cry when I hear it now.

Now, I get it, Mom. Kids go from baby to adulthood and rush into the scariness of all the things in the world in what seems like a second when you’re the mom.

The journey feels like it just began, and then it’s over. From the mom’s perspective.

But the thing is, you will always be a big part of your kids’ story. My mom is still a huge piece of my life, and I am almost forty years old.

I hope that I have been a positive part for my girl to look back on as she spreads her beautiful auburn wings and soars to all the places she’s always dreamed of going.

I’ve decided I am going to embrace this.

I am not one of those moms who is looking forward to an empty nest, and it doesn’t hurt my feelings that my youngest is only eleven right now and will be with me for at least five more seconds (mom time).

But I am going to listen to all the songs.

And I will cry, yes. Some days I may cry a bit too much, even.

But I want to delight in every chapter of my children’s journeys, even the ones where I stop being a main character.

I don’t want my girls to pause for even one second and question whether they should move forward to the next bigger chapter in their lives.

After all, a mother’s job is to give her children the confidence to take flight and leave her behind, isn’t it?

“A mother’s job is to teach her children to not need her anymore. The hardest part of that job is accepting success.”