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Abstract

ed by a fundamental disorganization, a lack of clear objectives, confusion about roles, and incorrect communication flows.Using the famous Pareto principle, 80% of the work is done with 20% of the time.But the quality of the time spent at work is crucial for our well-being.This is obvious if we are entrepreneurs or self-employed because time is our most precious finite resource, and its enhancement directly impacts our earnings.But it is equally valid if we are employees. Working unproductively and disorganized, even if it does not directly affect our salary, generates a sense of deep frustration and stress.Although the metaphor is overused, it is undoubtedly effective: it’s like being a hamster that enters the wheel every day and starts running, often without going anywhere.The same concept can be applied to our emotional life and the people we interact with outside our family.Here, too, the Pareto principle comes in handy. And, if we think about it, we can easily recognize that 80% of our emotional well-being can come from 20% of our most significant relationships.How often have we found ourselves in endless dinners talking about nothing with people we don’t care about? And a simple coffee with a dear friend taken standing at the bar has warmed our hearts, made us reflect, and given us the strength to make an important decision.In Italy, when a person is not very social, it is said that they are a “bear” (do you say that in your countries, too? Let me know in the comments; I’m curious!).My wife and closest friends always tease me about this, defining me as a “bear” who never wants to meet new people.They a

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re right partly because meeting new people can enrich us. But it is also true that time is limited, and the few people who really matter to us must have the time they deserve.I noticed that people who fill every minute of their free time with all sorts of commitments often hide a tremendous inner void or poor and arid family relationships.They are, for example, those people who, at the end of the COVID-19 lockdown, after being forced to stay at home with their families, got divorced.So, our time is slipping away, and often, we don’t give it the right value in both work and our emotional life.What to do?We must understand who we are and calmly and objectively evaluate the work and emotional situations we are experiencing.It’s not easy, and it can be a harrowing journey because it can question our (apparent) certainties about ourselves and the people around us.But the essential factor is achieving inner well-being by re-establishing a connection with our deeper “self”. And cease muffling it with social or work-related hyperactivity or, worse yet, with alcohol and psychotropic drugs.Life is beautiful.I’m Andrea from Bologna, Italy. I write about life, beauty, empathy, and lessons learned. To see my stories pop up on your feed, I’d love for you to follow me (<a href="https://andreafeccomandi.medium.com/">Andrea Feccomandi</a>). And, to have stories sent directly to you, <a href="http://bit.ly/45yzQcD">subscribe to The Warm Lasagna, my weekly newsletter</a>.Originally published at <a href="https://warmlasagna.substack.com/p/time-is-running-out-awareness-can">https://warmlasagna.substack.com</a>.</article></body>

Time is Running Out! Awareness Can Save Us.

Drowning in busyness: lessons from the swimming lane.

Image generated by the author using Microsoft Bing Image Creator

Every Saturday morning, I go to the swimming pool with my wife, Valentina, and my little son, Tommaso.

Yesterday morning, I noticed that a lane mate of mine, swimming breaststroke, was struggling a lot, clearly putting in a great effort but moving very slowly.

I’ve never been an agonistic swimmer nor exceptionally skilled; however, I’ve always tried to make the correct movements. So, also swimming breaststroke but with far fewer strokes than him, I was going faster and regularly passing him.

In the almost meditative state I reach when swimming, it seemed to me a powerful metaphor for what happens to many of us in many aspects of our daily lives.

We flail about, expending energy that is not proportional to the results we achieve.

Think about work. As an IT consultant, I have often seen, especially in large companies, that what matters is not committing to achieve a result but committing to give the impression of being committed.

As employees, we give our time for money, so we must show the employer that the time they bought has been spent doing something for the company. Something, it doesn’t matter if it’s useful.

So, rivers of emails, hours and hours of calls and meetings that give the impression of being busy but are of very little utility.

The truth is that, almost always, the need for so many meetings is caused by a fundamental disorganization, a lack of clear objectives, confusion about roles, and incorrect communication flows.

Using the famous Pareto principle, 80% of the work is done with 20% of the time.

But the quality of the time spent at work is crucial for our well-being.

This is obvious if we are entrepreneurs or self-employed because time is our most precious finite resource, and its enhancement directly impacts our earnings.

But it is equally valid if we are employees. Working unproductively and disorganized, even if it does not directly affect our salary, generates a sense of deep frustration and stress.

Although the metaphor is overused, it is undoubtedly effective: it’s like being a hamster that enters the wheel every day and starts running, often without going anywhere.

The same concept can be applied to our emotional life and the people we interact with outside our family.

Here, too, the Pareto principle comes in handy. And, if we think about it, we can easily recognize that 80% of our emotional well-being can come from 20% of our most significant relationships.

How often have we found ourselves in endless dinners talking about nothing with people we don’t care about? And a simple coffee with a dear friend taken standing at the bar has warmed our hearts, made us reflect, and given us the strength to make an important decision.

In Italy, when a person is not very social, it is said that they are a “bear” (do you say that in your countries, too? Let me know in the comments; I’m curious!).

My wife and closest friends always tease me about this, defining me as a “bear” who never wants to meet new people.

They are right partly because meeting new people can enrich us. But it is also true that time is limited, and the few people who really matter to us must have the time they deserve.

I noticed that people who fill every minute of their free time with all sorts of commitments often hide a tremendous inner void or poor and arid family relationships.

They are, for example, those people who, at the end of the COVID-19 lockdown, after being forced to stay at home with their families, got divorced.

So, our time is slipping away, and often, we don’t give it the right value in both work and our emotional life.

What to do?

We must understand who we are and calmly and objectively evaluate the work and emotional situations we are experiencing.

It’s not easy, and it can be a harrowing journey because it can question our (apparent) certainties about ourselves and the people around us.

But the essential factor is achieving inner well-being by re-establishing a connection with our deeper “self”. And cease muffling it with social or work-related hyperactivity or, worse yet, with alcohol and psychotropic drugs.

Life is beautiful.

I’m Andrea from Bologna, Italy. I write about life, beauty, empathy, and lessons learned. To see my stories pop up on your feed, I’d love for you to follow me (Andrea Feccomandi). And, to have stories sent directly to you, subscribe to The Warm Lasagna, my weekly newsletter.

Originally published at https://warmlasagna.substack.com.