PHILOSOPHY | SELF | TIME

Time Is Always Right If You Don’t Use Somebody Else’s Watch.

Three loosely connected thoughts about timing and what to do when you get it right.

Somebody sighed that he felt he was born in the wrong century. Let’s call him Dicky.

Once Dicky was a head boy with a promising future that never eventuated. Now he is a middle manager working with a disengaged team and a horrible boss.

– “The girls at work have said to me that I am out of touch,” moaned Dicky, “but I would not touch them even with a ten-meter pole”.

I didn’t say anything.

One sentence said it all. Dicky still had this slightly patronising attitude about ‘girls’. And his little attempt to use a pun hit him instead of the ‘girls’ — no wonder the female colleagues didn’t appreciate his views.

– “When I look at some of my classmates from High School, I can see how they have made it, but I am stuck in this middle-life, mediocre rut,” Dicky elaborated his situation, “but somebody needs to pay the bills, and with two teenage daughters, it’s not cheap.”

I think you got the picture.

Dicky has been living his adult life by comparing himself with others. Setting other people’s goals as his yardstick — or looking at time from the neighbour’s wrist.

Dicky has lost his sense of timing. He is like the poor man in the letter Nichiren Daishonin (1222–1282) wrote. It feels that he wrote it just yesterday and for us:

“If you seek enlightenment outside yourself, then your performing even ten thousand practices and ten thousand good deeds will be in vain. It is like the case of a poor man who spends night and day counting his neighbour’s wealth but gains not even half a coin.” — Nichiren Daishonin, WND vol I, p3.

Enlightenment is being in sync with the universe around you, not comparing yourself with it. Jupiter does not compare its orbit and mass with any other planets but spins around the sun in its own path, thus helping other planets stay on their trajectory. It is an interplay of cosmic forces, not a blaming game of worlds.

Dicky has lost his trajectory, and the pull and push of others made him drift away from his dreams to the darkness of middle-aged men.

But what is timing?

“It’s always about timing. If it’s too soon, no one understands. If it’s too late, everyone’s forgotten.” ― Anna Wintour.

Carpe diem may be overused, but it carries a profound message. It is living in the moment.

Cliches are tricky in that way: useful, but at the same time, we often pass them without thinking about the wisdom that keeps a cliche alive.

The time is never right if you don’t live the current moment to the fullest.

It is hard.

Living other people’s lives is easier than taking full responsibility for your own life moment by moment.

It is looking at the mirror and saying: if not now, then when? That’s the start of learning good timing.

What comes next is revolutionary.

“If you wait till you know everything it’s too late” ― Warren Buffett.

Gratitude is the solar panel for your battery of life force.

If you are drifting in the void like Dicky, the easiest way to get back to your path towards fulfilment, success, and accomplishments is to learn to be grateful.

I had a coaching session yesterday with a very young and talented man. He was using AI, templates and everything he could copy to help him move forward, but instead of progressing, he felt stuck.

He was seeking answers from external sources.

He was blindfolded by the expectations of others, comparing himself with those famous influencers that seemingly have made it — and he was just about step over the cliff and fall into the void where Dicky has spent most of his adult life.

My advice for this young and hungry talent was that building on gratitude is the quickest way to success but also the most challenging path. And even if it is the fastest way, it takes a lifetime.

We need energy, resilience and stamina to be ready to take action when the time is right. Act now if you have the strength, but if you don’t have the energy, slip into the void of complaining, comparing and concealing your dreams from others.

You will find the right time if you are grateful for what you have got. It is repeated in hundreds of self-help articles that keeping a gratitude journal will do the trick.

I can testify that it does. And I hope the young man takes my advice and starts being grateful instead of frustrated.

“The ungrateful feel that it is below them to show any kind of appreciation. They are under the delusion that showing gratitude to others diminishes their own worth. This is their major failing. It is a sense of appreciation that elevates, enriches and expands the human spirit. And it is arrogance that prevents one from seeing this.” — Daisaku Ikeda.

If you don’t use your voice, somebody else will use your silence to amplify theirs.

As mentioned, Dicky had a horrible boss. He had to endure all kinds of public humiliations his boss was so skilful organising.

As a very kind man, he swallowed his pride and tried to turn insults into insight.

Dicky didn’t stand up but stoically endured. He made himself believe that he was wiser than the almost sociopathic boss. Dicky was just stupid.

Dicky left his voice unused and had to listen to the choir of co-workers who happily threw oil to the flames when his boss was roasting him.

If you are determined to live to the fullest, learn to be grateful for everything, but don’t let anything intimidate or abuse you.

Have the courage to draw the line. Don’t let anybody use you as their amplifier.

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t — you’re right.” ― Henry Ford.

Fame is not an achievement.

The young man I mentioned earlier wanted to become famous in his chosen field. When I asked him what fame is, he was long silent and said, — “it’s a sign that I have achieved something”.

Dicky had similar thoughts. He had been observing the stellar rise of some of his schoolmates to fame and thought that that was their achievement.

As you guess, that is utter bullshit.

Fame is not an achievement. I repeat. Fame is not an achievement.

Fame is a side product of dumb luck (serendipity, if you want to use a fancy word) or fucken hard work. And more than reward and glory, it is a burden and can kill everybody who takes it too seriously.

Look at the videos of the daughter of Elvis, Lisa Marie, who just passed away. She was famous, but what did her face tell her happiness levels?

“Something happens to people around fame and power and money — it can bring out the worst and best in people; it’s a monster you have to tame.” — Lisa Marie Presley.

Fame is just botox that makes your face look like a death mask in most cases.

If you want to achieve something in life, forget about fame. Be prepared to be grateful, work hard and act now instead of waiting for the right time. The right time never comes.

You make your time.

Don’t try to read the hours from somebody else’s watch. It’s now or never.

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