Through The Horror of My Memories
Meditation, Attempting to Calm My Thoughts
By Audra J Pitts
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People are everywhere, staring, judging, and laughing at me. I can’t look up, it’s impossible to move, and the squeezing agony in my chest is growing more unbearable. My thoughts move to the recollection of the terror and horror of the bruises and burns of the past year. I see his face in everyone I pass. I hear his insulting screams in every loud noise. The laughter of the crowd becomes the evil cachinnation of his ruthless articulation.
STOP! I am safe at this moment. BREATHE! Please focus on the minute that I am in. I am safe. BREATHE! Repeating these words takes one step at a time. Picture them all just going away. He is nowhere around, and I know I will not be hurt. CALM…peaceful thoughts, I am in the here and now. I must tell myself that I survived the narcissistic abuse, and I can survive this. I am alive after the substantial experience when I could have been killed by the vicious narcissistic alcoholic locked up for his crimes.
