Thriving as a Highly Sensitive Person Starts With Radical Acceptance
There are many effective ways to cope with being sensitive and soft-hearted in a harsh world, but radical acceptance is the place to start
Highly sensitive beings suffer more but they also love harder, dream wider, and experience deeper horizons and bliss. When you’re sensitive, you’re alive in every sense of this word in this wildly beautiful world. Sensitivity is your strength. Keep soaking in the light and spreading it to others. — Victoria Erickson
Stepping Into the Softness of the Soul
A glimpse into the life of a highly sensitive person
As my toes tickled the edge of a great height, from which I could either fall or take flight, I realized I was scared of both extremes, so I searched for a gentle middle stream.
Although I feel lucky to have sensitivity because it serves to expand my creativity, it also makes me unlucky in many ways, as life’s nuances feel like navigating a maze.
I cope by constructing an armor of steel to make life’s ugly realities harder to feel. But, this armor is a heavy burden to wear, and it leaves me confined, lonely, and bare. The armor narrows my road to travel ahead giving me a feeling of heaviness and dread.
This insight into an otherwise unnoticed world must be nurtured with care, not aimlessly swirled. It has taught me that life is a delicate balancing act which must be approached with vigilance and tact. I have learned there is no way around anxiety — it must be tackled by facing life in all its variety.
I am grateful for those who stay close by, gently encouraging me to keep my spirits high. Despite my flaws, I stay grounded to the earth, and close to those who can nurture my worth.
When I get lost in existential contemplation streaming out of me without any moderation, I slip my body into the sparkling blue sea, serenity softening my mind, setting me free.
© Athena Milios, 2021. All Rights Reserved.
What is a Highly Sensitive Person?
Highly sensitive people (HSPs) are a small subset of the population, who are characterized by their empathy, intuition, insight, and conscientiousness. HSPs have a tendency to put up walls, almost like a psychological ‘armor’, to keep other people out, and to try to make themselves less permeable to life’s hardships. But putting up barriers can be a slippery slope, because shutting the world out might work in shutting out the bad stuff, but it also will shut out a lot of the good.
Being an HSP is genetic to a large extent, and it is estimated that one in five people have this condition. If you think you might be an HSP, you can take this test. If you answer yes to at least 14 of the 27 questions on the scale, it means you most likely have the trait.
There are five main characteristics of HSPs.
- HSPs are more aware of their surroundings, are easily distracted by small changes in surroundings, and frequently feel overwhelmed in chaotic environments. Being highly sensitive to even small changes means that the large changes in life, such as losing a loved one, can really shake them up. Subtleties and nuances in the environment are usually immediately noticed by HSPs, and it can take HSPs a lot longer than most people to adjust to changes.
- HSPs are very insightful and have rich, complicated inner lives.
- HSPs are extremely intuitive and empathic. They are also very averse to conflict. They are deeply affected by other peoples’ moods and deeply moved by certain creative stimuli, such as art, music, and poetry.
- HSPs are very conscientious, hardworking, and really appreciate the nuances of good quality work.
- HSPs are also usually quite talented in one or more areas, especially in the realm of creativity, perceptiveness, imagination, and inventiveness.
Strategies for Highly Sensitive People
There are several strategies that can be used to help HSPs feel better equipped to handle the challenges of the world.
Firstly, HSPs (and those around them) must start with radically accepting their sensitivities. Sensitivity should be treated as a difference but NOT as a defect!
Secondly, HSPs must understand their triggers and stressors and do their best to avoid them. Examples of stressors include overcrowded, chaotic environments, flickering lights, and distracting stimuli such as loud music.
Thirdly, HSPs must take alone time and/or quiet time when they feel that they need it. I like to call these stop-time breaks, or putting a pause on whatever task is being performed, taking a break, and then coming back to the task after some time has elapsed, with a fresh set of eyes. Stop-time breaks are a commonly used accommodation during university exams for those who have anxiety disorders, but they can also be useful for HSPs.
Lastly, it is best for HSPs to be open with others, especially in their workplace, about their sensitivities so that they can be provided with the accommodations best suited to help them be their best selves. Accommodations are not about giving anyone an unfair advantage. Rather, they help to level the playing field.
