Three Humble Strangers Changed My Life Philosophy Completely

Three life lessons I learned from strangers that became my holy grail.

We earmark our parent's life lessons as cautious advice. We ignore their words and take them for granted.

You’ll hear the same stuff at next year's Christmas dinner, so why bother?

But strangers yield the power to drop surprise wisdom bombs, one minute you’re discussing the plot of your favorite movie, and the next minute you’re pondering life’s meaning through their philosophy.

Life lessons are always on sale. You can find them in your nearest park, coffee shop, or even a garage in return you only need to give a few moments of your precious time.

All it takes is a slight interest, a light conversation, and a polite smile. Here are three gems of wisdom I learned from strangers who crossed my path.

1. You see the world as you are

A widow.

A mother abandoned by her kids.

An old woman with no means or skill to support herself.

A woman who fits in any of the above categories has a right to be mad at the world. She has endured more than most and she suffers every day.

I met a woman on a vacation last year who ticked all three boxes. She was selling hand-knitted headbands on the roadside.

Growing up in India I am accustomed to old people begging for livelihood. It’s a painful yet common occurrence on our streets.

So, I offered this Amma(mother) a crisp 100 rupee bill as I was in a hurry to get to the next sightseeing spot. I smiled and went on my way only to be stopped by her, she asked me to pick the headbands that I liked, so I picked two.

She dutifully returned 60 rupees. I hesitated and told her I wanted her to keep the money but she refused outright.

This small gesture made all my plans obsolete, as I ended up spending the entire afternoon with this amma.

She was a widow, her husband passed away from cancer. She has only ever been a housewife taking care of her kids, the same kids who abandon her and her husband in their hour of need.

So, for the past two years, she’s been living in a small bedroom lent to her by a local family. She gets supplies and food from locals and tourists such as myself.

A kind doctor tends to her illness and gives her the medicine she needs. She easily gets everything she needs from the people around her.

She knits headbands to get pocket money, to save for rainy days. But she believes that it won’t come to that. This is a woman who has lost everything yet she believes that she won’t need a rainy day fund.

She said people have always helped her get what she needs, it was a hard life but everyone who chipped in made it easier.

It was already a long list, so she was confident that she’d find people along the way to help her out.

It was amazing, I have never met someone with such faith in humanity. I have been taught to be cautious of strangers and stay away from them all my life.

Her own family abandoned her, yet she had the utmost trust in strangers. She thanked me for buying headbands and sent me on my way.

Her trust in people astounded me. She went on knitting her colorful yarns, proving bystanders who thought her life lacked joy wrong.

Her belief made me question my skepticism. It made me realize my shortcomings and trust issues.

• Practice kindness in the face of adversity. It’s a duty to treat the next person with kindness no matter how bad things get.
• Be optimistic about every stranger that you encounter on your journey, till they give you a reason not to.
• Don’t let your past experiences form a prejudice against the inherent goodness of people.

2. You make your own Qismat(Fate)

Haggling is a part of the childhood curriculum that Indian middle-class parents teach their kids early on.

I grew up watching my mum haggle with every vendor for a better deal. It’s common to haggle in Delhi's local markets.

We apply this learning everywhere, even when we shouldn’t.

I was traveling with friends one fine morning through the heart of my city, we hailed an auto to travel a short distance of two miles. It took us more time to haggle for the right price than to reach our destination.

My friends are pro hagglers and I made the unforgivable mistake of agreeing to the original price, but still, they managed to talk out of it and get to a price they wanted all along.

Finally, the ride ended and I offered to pay as a peace offering. The auto driver accepted the fare and returned me a loose change for 20 rupees, the initial amount my friends were haggling for.

As he handed me the change, he said, “This belongs to me, it’s fate as you agreed to the original price.”

So, I returned the money at once. Fate is formidable but what matters more are your words. If you give your word to someone then you need to follow through, it’s the litmus test of good character.

• Every successful relationship requires synchronicity between words and actions.
• Good deals have a strong foundation of truth which comes from keeping your word.
• You get more and better opportunities when you show people you care about them, and one way to do so is by keeping your word.
• “Qismat” or fate is formed by fulfilling your promises and keeping your word and you make it better with every hard decision you make.

So, do what you say you’ll do. Keep your word even when it’s only a matter of twenty-five cents.

3. Everything worth it in life is risky

Portfolio managers are the biggest risk mongers, who make informed bets on other people's money.

This job will keep your adrenaline high at all times, so you’ll either live a life full of adventure or you’ll die of a heart attack at your desk.

I met a portfolio manager once on a metro ride. He had a jolly time every day trading other people's hard-earned money for greater returns.

This 49-year-old man with a big smile and an even bigger personality took the seat next to me while I was busy reading, I had my headphones on to avoid the idle chatter, only to be interrupted by him.

We talked about the author’s work whom he met at a literature festival last year. It was a pleasant disruption that ended up teaching me a big lesson.

He said, “Risk is the currency of success” while telling me about his twenty-year-long career trading options and managing eight eight-digit portfolios.

You can’t be successful without taking risks. Everyone takes risks even someone in a safe and tenured job. The opportunities they gave up to get a secure job were the risks they took.

He said we laud the risk an artist takes to follow his passions, but what about the sacrifices one makes to hold onto their nine-to-five job?

You have taken a lot of risks to be where you are right now even if you’re a begrudging professional who is sucked in a vortex of promises and a fake sense of security in your job.

Twenty years working in the stock market has taught him that the higher the risk the better the returns.

• There’s risk in even the safest option, so don’t let your guard down when you choose it.
• You might lose the life of your dreams if you don’t take risks in the present.

Conclusion

As an introvert, I used to wear giant headphones and keep my head down in a book to avoid all human interactions in public places.

But now I have realized that an impromptu conversation with a stranger can change your life for the better, as you can learn a lot from them in just minutes.

So, it’s better to be more open and friendly when you meet a stranger. You won’t lose anything by saying hi to the person next to you on the bus or a yoga class.

I am not the ideal person to give anyone advice about their social life, but I am thankful that these people came into my life because they have taught me a lot about myself.

“There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.” — William Butler Yeats

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