Three Health Conditions Women Ignore Because We Normalize Them
And where to go for help
Unless we’re counting every season of Grey’s Anatomy as actual medical training and education, I am not a medical practitioner — nor am I offering medical advice. However, as a former therapist and a woman who has experienced many of the following issues, I can speak to my own personal experience — as well as how these issues have been normalized and treated as acceptable by our society.
Incontinence
Recently, I was reading through posts in a group on social media and came across a meme about how women over a certain age don’t have WAP; instead, we have bladder leakage. While almost everyone was laughing at the post, I decided to be annoying and point out that bladder leakage might be common, but that doesn’t make it normal. It’s often a sign of treatable pelvic floor issues.
Apparently, I am a killjoy with no sense of humor, but I see this all the time. Women’s medical concerns are summarily dismissed — even by women. We’re the punchline of jokes, and I saw comment after comment of grown women admitting to pissing their pants as if that was something normal they needed to manage rather than a problem they need to address.
On the one hand, I’m fully blaming society, but I’ll shelve the talk about misogyny and the patriarchy for a moment and talk about the direct result of it, which is a failure of the medical community to address women’s health issues as issues. Believe me: if men were routinely urinating on themselves while sneezing, they would get that fixed, not laugh hysterically at a meme and pass it around.
After my pregnancies, I experienced this. Not only was it highly embarrassing, but it limited what activities I could do. While my children were enjoying an indoor trampoline park, I was watching nervously on the sidelines — too insecure about possible leakage to join in the fun.
I was concerned about it, but every woman I knew who had a child said it was something you just had to deal with post-partum. Not one doctor gave any suggestions for dealing with this or even brought it up as a medical issue during my post-partum care. Not even the mention of Kegel exercises came up during a single visit as a potential way to address these issues. In fact, the idea seemed to be that bladder leakage is just part of being a woman who has had children, and I should accept it.
But incontinence is far from the only medical issue women often experience and accept as natural.
The Post-Pregnancy Pooch
A post-pregnancy belly is often seen as entirely normal — so much so that I wasn’t once checked post-partum for any related issues. It took nearly six years after the birth of my second child to figure out that the reason I could never achieve a flat stomach was due to a condition called Diastasis Recti, which is a significant abdominal separation that must be repaired through regular and specific core exercise (crunches and similar exercises make it much worse) or surgical intervention.
Post-partum care fails entirely to address this issue, and insurance companies see the surgical repair as being “cosmetic” versus a health issue, despite the fact that it can lead to back pain and pelvic floor issues.
Unfortunately, most women are left to self-diagnose and source help from home rather than from the medical community.
Period Pain
Excruciating period pains are also viewed as normal when they often can be linked to a variety of medical conditions including pelvic inflammatory disorder, uterine fibroids, endometriosis, and ovarian cysts. Many women simply put up with the pain — considering it a normal part of the menstruation process. Instead of treating pain as a warning sign of a treatable medical condition, women seem to embrace it as a part of the experience of womanhood.
As long as we’re normalizing these conditions, women aren’t being treated for them.
Instead, many go through life with painful periods, incontinence, and a “mom belly”. Because the medical community often doesn’t address these issues, it can be difficult to know what to do or where to go for help. Often, talking to other women about it results in understanding that it’s common without any understanding of what we’re supposed to do about it.
First of all, you might want to fire any doctor who dismisses your pain as “normal” based purely on gender. I had a gynecologist who told me that hormones aren’t actually a real thing women experience. I didn’t go back to him. Any medical professional who normalizes pain should not be allowed to continue our treatment. We are meant to advocate for ourselves — not sit passively while our lived experience is dismissed.
Find a women’s health professional with expertise in the area of concern. Whether we’re experiencing incontinence, a belly pooch post-pregnancy, painful periods, or other issues like pain during sex, we need to visit a gynecologist who will take our concerns seriously. Physical therapists can also address pelvic floor and abdominal issues. Check out the website or call the office to make sure the clinician is competent to treat the issue.
Do your own research. Sadly, for conditions like Diastasis Recti, many women find themselves doing a home diagnosis and home treatment programs. It isn’t ideal, but if we can’t find a medical professional to help or don’t have access to affordable treatment options, we may need to do our research to learn ways to help with the condition and to avoid making it worse.
Recognize the purpose of pain. Our bodies aren’t supposed to experience ongoing pain. Pain is a warning sign that something is wrong. Pissing ourselves as full-grown adults is a warning sign that something is wrong. Instead of dismissing our body’s experiences and trying to normalize them, we need to listen and pay attention so that we can get help.
As long as we’re laughing off these or other conditions as normal, we aren’t getting help for them. I had to take on the responsibility to heal my own core and pelvic floor issues after medical professionals dismissed my concerns. These days, I can jump on the trampoline without fear of an embarrassing accident because of a medical condition I couldn’t control. I’ve worked to close the gap caused by Diastasis Recti with careful core exercises that won’t make it worse.
Taking our pain seriously means not dismissing other women’s pain either. Instead, we can be the ones to kindly suggest seeking medical intervention when these or other issues come up. When we stop normalizing these issues, we may find that more women seek treatment and get the help they need and deserve.
