“Thought Exercises” and “Playing Devil’s Advocate” are Hallmarks of Privilege
It’s easy to talk hypothetically about something that doesn’t affect you.
I write a lot of lofty, self-important articles about a lot of topics. Scroll through my writing and you’ll find any number of pieces commenting on things from women’s issues and trans rights to Christian “love” and what it’s like to be poor. I have a lot of opinions, is what I’m saying, and I tend to lean more toward the “social justice” side of things.
The thing is, I’m a white straight cis dude who has spent his childhood in the upper-middle class and was isolated from so many terrible things that exist in the world. Sure I’m neurodivergent and live with mental illness, and sure I’ve “fallen” into the solid middle class instead of upper-middle-class, but none of those articles I linked really affect me in any way.
As a white guy, I live a life of relative privilege compared to many of my peers, and the best way for me to illustrate that privilege is through a thought exercise. When my uterus-having friends are angry and frustrated about the recent overturning of Roe, what I should do is show my support in whatever ways I can. What I should not do is say “well, let’s slow down and think about this for a minute. How will this really affect things?”
Roe doesn’t affect me in the same way that it does them, so why would I try to turn the whole thing into a thought exercise or some sort of formal debate? For all of the people affected directly by Roe, this is not the time for a thought exercise or a debate, this is a fight for their rights to bodily autonomy. If I, a straight cis white guy, step in and say “oh, I think we need to think this through a little more and talk about it for a bit,” I’m going to get my head bitten off, and rightfully so.
This is not about me, and this is not the time to tell uterus-havers to “slow down” and “think about it rationally.” Rather, this is the time for me to step back and say “I will help you however I can” and “what do you need me to do right now?”
The same thing goes with any of the issues I mentioned above. I’m not queer or trans, so why would I bother trying to debate nitty-gritty details of a queer or trans person’s life and how the world treats them? I don’t have a uterus, so why would I try to nitpick the arguments of someone who does, especially when they are angry and hurting right now?
I’m entitled to my opinions about things, but I also don’t need to go throwing my opinions into anyone and everyone’s conversations about those things. These are people whose rights are constantly under attack, and butting into their conversations on social media to say “um, actually, you aren’t technically correct” about whatever thing is a good way to get verbally smacked. It’s a fantastic example of white privilege: I may not be directly affected by this thing, but I am going to have my say regardless of what anyone thinks.
A corollary of this is “playing devil’s advocate” with these issues. That is such a terrible white guy move that I am doing my best to strike that phrase from my lexicon unless it is used derisively toward a terrible white guy.
In everyday life, playing devil’s advocate is a way to illustrate the other side of things or show something from the other perspective. However, it is generally being co-opted by terrible white dudes to argue that maybe taking rights away from women, BIPOC, and queer folx is fine actually.
Generally, some white dude jumps into a conversation on social media and then shows his misogyny or bigotry in a major way. Then, when he is called out on it, he says “well, I’m just playing devil’s advocate” as a deflection from his very obvious misogyny or bigotry. It’s not that he really thinks what he said, he is just trying to illustrate both sides of the issue!
If you are a white guy and are thinking of playing devil’s advocate in an argument over Roe, LGBTQIA+ rights, BIPOC issues, or anything about a category of people that you do not belong to, I have a tip for you. When you play devil’s advocate, you are literally advocating for the devil, who is the embodiment of evil. Maybe that will help you put things into perspective when you say that maybe overturning Roe is a good thing, but you’re just playing devil’s advocate.
Look, when we are talking about removing basic human rights from people, there are two sides: the side that believes that you should never strip people of their basic human rights, and the wrong side. And, if you are going to take the removal of basic human rights and turn it into a thought exercise or play devil’s advocate about whether to actually do it, don’t be surprised when you get verbally (or physically) smacked.
Plenty of terrible white guys are well aware of this and use these tactics in an attempt to legitimize their bigotry and stir up chaos, but many don’t. I have known people who mean well and just want to make sure that everyone is correct in their arguments, but they don’t have the sense to realize when they are stepping on toes and should back off.
So, if you are a straight cis white guy and have ever considered one of these conversational gambits, maybe just don’t. You will probably save a lot of friendships by staying quiet.
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