Those Who Promote Peace Through Love Have Joy

Plotting evil comes from a deceitful heart

“When you make peace with yourself, you make peace with the world.”

– Maha Ghosananda

Plotting evil, who has done this before? Have you ever wished ill will on others who have treated you poorly? Did someone hurt you emotionally or physically recently? Anyhow, maybe you didn’t mean what you said, but when you speak words of destruction, it’s a glimpse into your heart.

Are you holding any hostility, anger, bitterness, or hatred towards anyone? These behaviors can leave us feeling anything but peaceful.

I have recently been working through some unsettling emotions created by a breakup with my best friend of over thirty-five years. I know I’m not alone when it comes to relationships falling apart.

Therefore, because of my feelings, I wanted to encourage others who might be in a challenging relationship. Or are dealing with the aftermath of a breakup. It’s essential to seek healing from a loss of any kind. Perhaps you might find this scientific study behind healing fascinating, as I have indeed.

How to process hostility?

Hostility is being ready for a debate all the time. Hostile people are often stubborn, anxious, or they usually have a terrible attitude most days. They’re frequently in fights or use hurtful words often in an argument. They’re nitpicky not just of you but with others too.

Sometimes relationships must end if the other person is showing any form of hostility. You can try to fix this problem. However, it’s ultimately the person exhibiting these behaviors who must be willing to change.

How to work through anger?

Whether you are the hostile person in the relationship, anger is usually a result of the grieving process – your peace longs for you to work through any anger in your heart.

Let’s face it; it’s easier said than done. However, let’s try to work through the anger that is hiding out in the crevices of your heart. There isn’t an easy way besides facing a few truths.

“Never respond to an angry person with a fiery comeback, even if he deserves it…Don’t allow his anger to become your anger.”

– Bohdi Sanders

Here are some questions that helped me discover some truths during my ordeal:

• What did I learn from this experience?
• What is something you might have altered if you had another chance? Is there something else you would have liked to have said?
• What is leaving you feeling angry? How will you manage your hurt feelings?
• What positive takeaway will you embrace?

If any of these points are left ignored, bitterness can become a problem.

How can bitterness affect your peace?

The bitterness of any kind will rob you of peace. But when the person ending a relationship doesn’t give you the time of day, it’s not about them anymore.

It would help if you made it a priority to heal yourself. There are plenty of reasons why it’s crucial to work through your feelings to move forward.

Here are a few reasons:

• You might run the risk of filling yourself with animosity towards others in future relationships.
• You might run the risk of always focusing on the bad and miss the present.
• You might lose precious connections with others due to fear of broken trust.
• You might bring that bitterness into future relationships out of unresolved feelings.
• You might become at risk of anxiety or depression and must take care of your unsettled feelings.
• You might even be dealing with the feeling that life has lost its meaning or purpose because the bitterness is brewing up within your heart.

Unresolved bitterness can turn into a grudge at any point. Working through challenging feelings must become your priority.

“It is harder to hate a person after you have prayed for them. It is harder to curse someone after you have asked God to bless them. Prayer pulls the sting of resentment.”

– E. Stanley Jones

In the long run, hate hurts you more than the other person involved. They have likely moved on to new connections.

Who knows how they will treat their new relationships in the future? Sometimes we think they have it all together. However, they might not even give you another thought because, in their mind, the way they handled things was the only way. They always made sure things went their way.

Is this someone you want in your circle of influence? Let me answer for you, no! They are not worthy of a relationship with you.

Joy will eventually replace the sadness in your heart. You deserve to be with someone who will treat you the way you, in turn, would treat them.

Forgiveness of that person is important, but also forgiveness of yourself is essential. Perhaps you must forgive yourself for leaving any feelings within yourself to fester into hatred.

How does hatred hurt you?

The blame game isn’t helpful. It can make things worse in your heart. You are pushing peace farther from your reality and causing anger to keep stewing into most likely hatred.

The truth is that it takes two to have a relationship. When someone walks away, there is a void or a deep hurt. It’s a normal reaction to blame the other person, but the truth is that it’s the breakup itself that angers you the most.

Maybe you didn’t have the opportunity to say what you wanted. When you can get to the point that it isn’t necessarily hatred for that person as much as how it ended, you’re healing.

Perhaps you were left feeling things ended unfairly? I know I was. Unfortunately, we cannot control another person’s actions.

Therefore, moving on by taking responsibility and understanding your reactions is a way to heal the pieces of yourself that the other person broke.

The misunderstandings will slowly start to fade when you work on regaining your confidence that was lost during the breakup. Slowly, you must start standing up taller knowing it wasn’t entirely your fault. It’s not about being right or wrong. Every story has two sides.

A peaceful ending

Forgiveness is the only way to a peaceful ending. Nothing is forever. Sometimes the most brutal breakups in life bring the most significant gifts.

I know this to be true in my first marriage that ended in divorce. Even though my current husband, of now twenty years, wasn’t around immediately, he showed up a couple of years later. You might not see the gifts right away, but they will show up when you least expect them. It would help if you stayed hopeful for a brighter future.

How might you bring peace where any hatred might have settled? It’s never too late to heal a broken heart. Joy is a virtue that only exists where peace is a way of life. Be a person who promotes peace.

I’m writing this as a thank you note to having a new best friend one day. I trust in the unknown that someday she will show up but not until any speck of bitterness is ultimately squeezed out of my heart and replaced with love and peace.

Thank you, Trista Signe Ainsworth, for your loving and healing publication; Thank You Notes.

If you aren’t already a member, you can use my link to sign-up; in doing so, I’ll receive a portion of the membership fees. I am grateful for your support.