avatarLogan Silkwood

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2048

Abstract

his trans man should have known. It was too quiet and peaceful at Pride this year. No one threatened hell and a fire encompassed eternity this time around.</p><p id="de56" type="7">We’re talking completely unnecessary levels of hell fire and brimstone over here.</p><p id="c759">Yet a matter of days later, the air conditioning broke in his house, just in time for the temperature to rise to the degree of <i>excessive</i> damnation. We’re talking completely unnecessary levels of hell fire and brimstone over here. Why did this happen? The Proud Boy who controlled the weather knew that this trans man was willing to go back into the closet just to fix his air conditioning unit in a timely manner.</p><p id="be17">This weather controller knew that all of the people who took the many phone calls needed to schedule and maintain this appointment would be the most polite people in the history of polite people. Of course they would all be believers in honorifics and use the name on the account as many times as possible!</p><p id="2f35">Anti-trans people everywhere can now take joy in this trans man’s suffering for a little while. Y’all won this round. Congratulations! This house feels like fire and brimstone with a nice warm side of menacing apocalyptic punishment. It feels exactly like the closet in this house: you know, a place where an LGBTQIA+ person goes to suffocate for however much of our life we’re willing to deal with because we were guilted into it by people like the one controlling the weather today.</p><p id="5275" type="7">This damnation is not eternal.</p><p id="79d7">Dear weather-controlling bigot: you won this battle, but you won’t win the war. You see, the air conditioning repair person showed up finally and this house is cooling one degree at a time. This damnation is <i>not</i> eternal. It lasted about 24 hours.</p><p id="06f3">Take that, hellspawn! It’s only 30 degrees Celsius in this trans man’s house right now. It’s getting cooler by the minute.</p><p id="cbbc"><i>Want to join Medium and help a trans man

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FICTION (MAYBE?)

This Weather is Transphobic As Fuck

A hypothetical story that totally isn’t all true

Photo By: Scary Side of Earth, Title: “hell-post”, Platform: Flickr

Full disclosure: Written while hot as hell and not entirely functional

Trans men on Testosterone aren’t built for heat, y’all

Evil Proud Boy fundamentalist zealots know this. That’s why they threaten us with hell all the time. They know that’s our vulnerable place. They know we’d be fine if they threatened us with going to Antarctica for eternity.

A hypothetical trans man wasn’t sure he was going through menopause and a second puberty simultaneously until the air conditioner broke sometime near the Summer Solstice on his half of the planet. That was the day he found out for sure that heat was his weak spot.

That was also the day he found out that the X-Men franchise had it all wrong. It wasn’t the wise and kind-hearted Storm who controlled the weather. It was a transphobic…nay, we’ll call this demonic hellspawn an anti-trans Proud Boy fundamentalist zealot mutant who has the ability to control the weather in the vicinity of a trans man’s house. This trans man should have known. It was too quiet and peaceful at Pride this year. No one threatened hell and a fire encompassed eternity this time around.

We’re talking completely unnecessary levels of hell fire and brimstone over here.

Yet a matter of days later, the air conditioning broke in his house, just in time for the temperature to rise to the degree of excessive damnation. We’re talking completely unnecessary levels of hell fire and brimstone over here. Why did this happen? The Proud Boy who controlled the weather knew that this trans man was willing to go back into the closet just to fix his air conditioning unit in a timely manner.

This weather controller knew that all of the people who took the many phone calls needed to schedule and maintain this appointment would be the most polite people in the history of polite people. Of course they would all be believers in honorifics and use the name on the account as many times as possible!

Anti-trans people everywhere can now take joy in this trans man’s suffering for a little while. Y’all won this round. Congratulations! This house feels like fire and brimstone with a nice warm side of menacing apocalyptic punishment. It feels exactly like the closet in this house: you know, a place where an LGBTQIA+ person goes to suffocate for however much of our life we’re willing to deal with because we were guilted into it by people like the one controlling the weather today.

This damnation is not eternal.

Dear weather-controlling bigot: you won this battle, but you won’t win the war. You see, the air conditioning repair person showed up finally and this house is cooling one degree at a time. This damnation is not eternal. It lasted about 24 hours.

Take that, hellspawn! It’s only 30 degrees Celsius in this trans man’s house right now. It’s getting cooler by the minute.

Want to join Medium and help a trans man crawl out of hell for just $5/month? You can support me at no additional cost here:

Transgender
LGBTQ
Humor
Politics
Life
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