This Wall

My friend, my enemy

Staring at the empty wall, Searching for something, Clutching at anything, I am drawing a blank.

Eyes trying to gouge deep, Striving to burn holes, My fingers seek to paint, On the empty canvas, They search real hard, They seek the very bottom.

All I am leaving though, Are shallow scratch marks, The wall has a new design, Result of my meager ventures.

What am I looking for, What am I digging to? I don’t know. I am hoping for gold, Be happy with iron, With anything.

But I get nothing, All I do is scratching.

My result is, Empty flakes, Broken nails, Unshed tears.

My labor is no longer, Going after something, It is reduced to, Going after the going.

So I keep scratching, I keep staring, Blood under my nails, Blood in my eyes, Blood in my brain.

I reach for the wall again, With shriveled hands, With burning eyes, My fingers curl and crook, My eyes blur and blink, I don’t even make a dent, I fall back. Failed. Again!

Wipe the tears, Sweep the blood, Catch my breath, Drink from the fountain, Fingers a little less crooked, Nails a little bit stronger, Eyes a little bit brighter.

On to that wall, Each day, On the threshold, Daily.

Today - I hope To dig better, A bit deeper, A tad longer.

This wall. It is my challenge, It is my muse, It is my enemy, It is my friend, It is my defeat, It is my victory, This wall.

Thanks for reading my poem. I appreciate any feedback. You can find more of my poetry, articles and books in my Personal Blog.