This Trip Changed My Perspective

When the annual trips to your grandma’s place turn into a memory, you realize you’re growing up, and that sucks

I reached Kathgodam in the morning of October 4, 2021. I whispered a fuck and felt an awkward pain in my heart as soon as I reached Bhowali. Bhowali is a small town near Nainital, India, where my Nani (grandmother) has been living all by herself for the last 20 years. There was partial guilt backed by practicality that it took me 5 years to see her again.

It was different this time. I could not run through the narrow lanes nor did I have any interest and time to walk through the forests or to talk to the neighbors. I lost touch and the vibe.

I was happy when I found my 1-year-old baby picture in the same place. Nani served me chai (tea) in a steel glass (typical pahadi behavior). She took the extra efforts to make “badi” (soyabean-type nuggets made of cucumber and many other spices) for us.

Things change, I had to accept that my Nani is growing old and she cannot keep her place the same way.

Fuck you lifestyle, modern technology, and financial independence made me opt for a hotel room instead of adjusting in her one-room set, playing in the mud, and carrying wet puppies all the way around.

The best thing about Nainital is the shopping, after the breathtaking view. I stopped by the Tibetan Market in the late evening and stood still at that one place from where the lake, the city lights, and the mountains look aligned. 15-year-old Nikita would have asked for a “bhutta” or “popcorn” and a place to sit and relax, but 22-year-old Nikita video-called a few people and clicked pictures for social media followers who don’t even care.

I again whispered a fuck because the view made me nostalgic, but then I had a conversation with my cousin about the fact that tomorrow we will go back to our basic lifestyle. We shopped a lot, stayed at hotels, and visited temples, but the best part? I paid the majority of the bills (yay financial stability).

On my way back home, I thought of having a place in Bhowali, so that I could take my future kids to the places I have lived, save every penny for the same awkward feeling every year and take some time off to be like a child again, and just breathe.

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